Side Story: I Ran Over a Rabbit
From Change in the Wind, Chapter 7: It Hurts
The next day, I get the call I’ve been expecting. Because I know that Cupcake is both a people pleaser and a coward, I decide to handle this for her.
“Joseph? Helen Plum here. I’m calling to invite you to dinner tonight, 6PM. We’re having stuffed cabbages.”
Well, I’m dodging a bullet there. Cabbage gives me horrendous gas. I’ve farted “Camptown Races” after cabbage. “Mrs. Plum, perhaps you should sit down.” I wait a moment and I hear the chair scrape across the floor. “Mrs. Plum, Stephanie and I are no longer together.”
“What?! Why?! Joseph, dear—”
“Mrs. Plum, I’m sorry to interrupt you, but I want you to understand something. I love your daughter. I love her deeply and I always will. But she isn’t ready to have a serious relationship and I’m tired of begging her for one. Stephanie and I have had a discussion about our relationship and where we are and she knows what the next steps are. I’m asking you, as her mother who I know loves her very much, don’t push her on this. Leave her alone to make her own decision. Don’t keep pushing and nagging and begging her to marry me. I want her to marry me because she loves me as much as I love her, not because she wants you to stop nagging her and criticizing her life every time you see her. So, can you do that for me? Can you leave her alone about our relationship and let us handle it?”