Mea Culpas
“Dumbledore says people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right.”
Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Mark’s POV—During Steph’s time in Miami
I have no idea what I’m looking at.
This looks like a basic street corner in Boston, but more ‘ethnically diverse’.
Vic’s slouched in the seat next to me, staring at the crowd of people walking by. “Spotted him?”
I look at him in confusion. “No. Have you?”
“Been looking at him for five minutes,” Vic says calmly. “Can’t take him right now. He’s surrounded. Plus, no law enforcement backup.”
“What?”
Vic sighs. “You need law enforcement backup to haul skips in this state. That’s why our current situation with law enforcement, which you won’t explain to me, is causing me problems.” Vic sighs and reaches for a granola bar. He opens it and passes me half.
“I should be accustomed to this, but it’s the usual, half step forward, half step back. I get to go after the contracts I want. Great. I can’t negotiate effectively with law enforcement because you know something I don’t know and they want to know, so they’re setting all kinds of verbal traps for me so I can barely talk wondering if I’m giving something away. Shit.”
He crunches on the bar angrily while I stare out of the car, trying to locate the skip. I finally spot him standing in a doorway a block away.
“How did Steph nab Charles LeFebvre without law enforcement backup when she was here?”
Vic snorts and smiles. “Retroactive backup. The man tailing her was FBI, so if anyone questioned it I was simply going to say he was the backup.”
“Would that have worked?”
“Depends on which precinct I hauled his ass to. Our backup showed up late.”
Sounds loosey goosey to me, but then Vic has always been a little more flexible with the truth than I am. Les said, when he partnered us, that I needed someone not as rigid as me. I needed someone who understood how to make a situation or a moment work.
Mando laughed and said Les was telling me I needed someone whose head was less up his ass.
I sigh. I need to call him tonight, see how he’s doing in Charlotte. It’s been a long time since Mando and I talked as friends, as comrades. We’re trying now but it’s difficult. It hurts, too, to know that Mando distrusts me. He was my closest friend and ally in this company.
I screwed that up.
I’ve had six weeks to think about my actions and my life. Ever since that fateful Saturday in August when Stephanie Plum ripped me to shreds, I’ve really had to consider my life and what I’ve been doing.
None so blind as he who will not see, my grandmother used to murmur. She was talking about my grandfather, a man known for his stubborn adherence to ‘facts’ and his conviction that he was right. What was disturbing was that nine times out of ten, he was absolutely right. But that one time he wasn’t . . . I whistle mentally.
I have become my grandfather.
Steph ripped my head from my ass and made me look at the reality of my situation.
My coworkers hate me. That moment, when Javi told me I had no votes around the table, was one of the scariest moments I’ve ever known. Not because I didn’t have their support. It was because they were absolutely calm in telling me. There was no pity, no hope on anyone’s face. It was stated as a mere fact.
Hal’s punch? I accepted it because he’d been holding it in. It was the payback he desperately wanted to give me Friday night and he’d gone nearly a week holding it in. I’d earned and I accepted it.
My subordinates were frustrated and irritated with me. Now they’re also angry with me because I may have cost them their jobs. I came back from the shore and I wasn’t able to tell them that they were safe. I wasn’t able to tell them I’d taken the fall for what happened because Steph hadn’t given me an opportunity. Instead, she dished those verbal punches out with a prize fighter’s accuracy and refused to allow me to accept responsibility for their actions. I tried, but it didn’t relieve them of the sword they’re now under.
My partner? I look at Vic, who is still staring at the skip.
Vic’s ready to hurt me.
I haven’t respected Vic’s time or talents in years. He followed me here to Boston, the ever loyal partner, even though he hates Boston. Despises it. Has considered leaving a few times. But I’m his partner so he stays. How do I repay him?
I don’t allow him to chase skips because I suck at it. I saw myself as being the leader Ranger is, not allowing my men to run into danger if I’m not willing to. Again, Steph removed my conceit from my eyes. I was an obstruction. I refused to trust my partner’s instincts and abilities. As a result, my branch, long thought the best run and managed in RangeMan, was half what it could be. I wasn’t holding Vic back for his safety. I was holding him back to feed my ego. If I can’t be the best at it, then the Boston branch couldn’t do it.
Danny drove the point home. Both his partner, Marcus, and his strategist, Chase, are former cops. Danny has no sense for skip chasing, but they do. Armed with Steph’s skip chasing tips, they’ve been able to move beyond their rigid ‘cop’ way of doing it and become more flexible, but Danny never held them back. The capture rate improved from 79% to 94%, on average, and they’re picking up more bonds offices. Danny trusted his partner to run that division and Marcus does. Marcus is a fucking superstar in the company when it comes to skip tracing now.
Ranger?
That hurts most. My commander no longer respects me. He doesn’t ask my opinion anymore. I’ve annoyed and irritated him to the brink of being fired.
I’m an irritation to everyone who knows me.
How do I fix that?
The backup shows up on time. Vic straps down. So do I.
“I’m headed around the block.” He looks at the police car. “That’s Coogan in the car. He’ll see me and know what I’m up to. When you see me approach from the other side, move in on the skip.”
“Got it.”
Vic snorts and gets out. I watch as he sprints out of sight and reappears on the skip’s other side. I hop out of the car.
“Jamie Nolan?” The skip spots Vic and starts running directly towards me. All his friends scatter and I step right into his path.
“Fuck!” He bounces off me and lands hard on his ass. I flip him over quickly and pull his arms behind his back. As I’m doing that, Vic darts between my arms and pulls the switchblade from his back pocket.
“Handy with this, I hear.”
“Give my shit back! Who are you?”
“We represent your bond agent, Jamie. Time to come with us.”
Coogan approaches and actually does the arrest. He’s hauled to the precinct, we’re given a body receipt and we head back out.
One skip down. Three more to go.
I spend the next few days reviewing stats for the branch. We’re officially last because we haven’t been able to offset the loss of Hospitality yet. I have to find a way to increase morale in the office. The men are desperate to find a way to beat Trenton.
I check my email. Requests from RangeWorld from Vic. He needs money and resources to go after the contracts he’s eyeing. I approve all of them with no further comments and get back to work.
Twenty minutes later, there’s a knock at my door. “Come in.”
Vic walks into my office, shuts the door, and strides over to my desk. “Want to explain to me what the fuck’s going on?”
I look up at him. “What?”
Vic’s pissed. Clearly. His nostrils are flaring. “All of a sudden, you’re interested in what I’m doing. Want to spend time together. Trying to get an understanding of what I need. Approving my requests. Why?”
I sit back in the chair. “Trying to get you what you need.”
“Why?”
“Because you want to expand your section. We need to expand your section.”
Vic stares at me. “Bullshit. I’ve been asking you to expand my division for years and you’ve ignored me. I know when you’re lying, Mark. What’s really going on?”
I clench my jaw and sigh. I hand Vic the full report and he takes it to my couch and sits. I concentrate on trying to check the branch budget but I hear him snort on occasion. Finally, he brings it back over and drops it onto my desk.
“So, Steph told you you don’t support your men. Is that it?”
I save what I was working on and look at him. “Gym.”
We’re circling each other on the mats and Vic’s not taking pot shots.
He’s definitely hitting to hurt. The guys in the gym are watching carefully but after ten minutes, Manny motions for everyone to leave. That’s when Vic really lets me have it.
“What the fuck is this really about, Mark? Huh? Is this really about supporting your men?”
I duck a cross and jab back, dancing the entire time.
“Yes, it is.”
“Bullshit!” he yells, throwing a jab. That one connects. My ribs will be sore tomorrow. “What’s really going on?”
I’m silent and Vic lets his fist, and his mouth, fly.
“I read between the lines in that report. She called you a piss poor manager. I get it. Now you’re trying to do what we’ve been asking you to do for ages because your pride is hurt. Not because it’s the right fucking thing to do! Not because I’ve asked you to do it for ages! But because she said you need to.”
“Really? You think that’s what this is about?” I hit his side hard and get slammed for my troubles.
“Hell, why not? Makes as much sense as everything else.” Vic snorts and I avoid his cross only to get tripped up. “The CO’s a hot woman. Got a hard on for her now?”
I’m back up and moving but Vic’s a better boxer than I am. “NO! Fuck.” I drop my fists and let Vic pound away. I’m not trying to defend myself. I drop to the mats and lie there, staring at the ceiling, refusing to acknowledge the tears.
“I’m trying to get you everything you need because I’ve been a shit partner for years!” I yell at him. He stops dancing around and stares down at me, breathing hard. “My ass is grass. I’m a short-timer,” I whisper, and Vic actually blanches.
He drops to the mats and sits next to me. I see him look up at Manny and motion for him to go away. The gym door closes and we both take a breather.
“Say that again.”
I look at him. My throat is tight. “I’m a short-timer. I gave her my resignation at the beach.”
He stares at me, stunned. “Why?”
“Because it was that or an “exit interview”.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah.” I’m silent. “I’ve completely fucked up, man. My life is dependent on getting the other XOs to stop thinking of me as an asshole.” Vic snorts and I give him a half smile. “Yeah. Exactly. Her, them, and you.”
“Me?” He’s mystified.
“Yeah. You too.” I sit up and pull my gloves off. “She pointed out that I’ve been a shit partner for years. I’ve had my head so far up Ranger’s ass I couldn’t see daylight.” Vic snorts to hide a laugh. “Yeah. You’re the man who balances me, the one who is supposed to get me off my crazy tangents, and I’ve been cutting you out for years, certain that I was right, desperate to prove to Ranger that I was ready to be his second.”
Vic whistles. “You gotta be kidding!” I redden and he chuckles and shakes his head. “Man, you can’t take down Tank! Or Les. Or—”
“Bobby or Hector or her,” I finish. “Yeah. She told me. She ripped me an entire lower half at the beach. I’m sure she left body parts I still haven’t found yet. I know I left my pride somewhere on the beach.”
Vic’s shoulders are shaking in silent laughter. I flop back on the mats, breathing heavy.
“She forced my resignation,” I whisper. “I have until some unknown time to clean this branch up, repair my relationship with you and the other XOs, and with her.”
“If you manage it?”
“She might persuade Ranger to let me leave with my life.” I feel hopeless again, the way I felt when she dismissed me from the room. It’s quiet in the gym for a while before he speaks.
“I think you’re wrong.” I look over at him. Vic has a thoughtful look on his face. “I think she probably plans to save your ass with Ranger.”
“Why?” I feel the tiniest spark of hope.
“If she planned to fire you, she would have done it then. Instead, she sent you back here to clean up your branch after handing you your ass. Nah.” Vic sits back on his elbows. “The more I think on this, the more I think she intends to save your ass. If you manage what she’s asked of you, she’ll save your ass with Ranger. You might come out of this OK.” He looks at me. “You will have to relearn the meaning of humble, though.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t,” he says, amused. “Who holds the balance of power with the XOs?”
I sink back into despair, mentally. “Hal.”
“And?”
“He hates me. Despises me. The black eye was from him.”
Vic whistles. “The newest XO is the one you have to win over. And the rumor in San Antonio goes that he’s Tank’s boy. So if you win him over, Tank will come too.”
I stare at Vic in confusion. “What?”
He nods. “Each member of the Core Team has a protégé and they’re all Trenton men. They stayed there forever. They know those men. Tank? Hal. He sees Hal as his second. Lester? No one knows, but I’d put money on Manny.”
“Why?”
“Because Manny acts more like Les than any person I know. Same manic energy, same devious mind, same creativity.” He smiles. “Manny’s being moved around the company like a corporate fucking spy. That’s usually Les’s job, isn’t it?”
Good point. “Bobby?”
“Ram.”
Ram? “Why?”
“Ram is nicknamed Silver Tongue in Trenton. He serves as the CO’s official mouthpiece but he’s also the man controlling company communications, really. Shit gets verified through Trenton now. Everyone calls Ram to determine if something’s true or not. That used to be Bobby’s job.”
“So in other words, the Trenton Core team, the newest ones on the block, hold all the power in this company?”
“I think so. You have another person in mind?”
I think for a few minutes. “I think Danny has more power than Hal.”
“Why?”
“Because Danny is the man Hal and Javi turn to. With Mando in Charlotte now, he turns to Danny. All the current XOs turn to Danny. I think he holds sway with the XOs.”
“Good point. How’s Danny feeling about you?”
“Neutral. I can see he wants to back me but Hal’s holding him back.” Vic looks confused and I sigh. “If Danny calls me wrong, Hal will never forget or forget. So Danny’s trying to make sure I’m not an asshole before he says anything to Hal. Those were his words when he was here.”
“Then he turned the corner on you and just needs to see you sustain that, but it reinforces the point. If Hal forgives you, they all will.”
I’m quiet. That’s what Steph said. If I get Danny, Hal will try. If I get Hal, they’ll all come over.
This is what I used to depend on Vic for. He’s quiet and he read the politics of the company for me. He was my consigliere, for lack of better word. I knew how to make things happen because Vic advised me on the ‘people’ element. I suck at that. I’m accustomed to being examined and assessed, not assessing.
“Ranger?”
Vic is quiet. “Doesn’t have one.”
“What? What about the CO?”
“Why?”
I look over. Vic’s face is calm. “Well, she’s a lot like him. Concerned about the men. Devious. Much smarter than I anticipated. Underestimated.”
“No, that’s just her. When was the last time someone ‘underestimated’ Ranger?”
Good point. “OK then, why not her?”
“Because she’s his woman. His equal, not a subordinate. Ranger doesn’t need one if they’re permanent. She’ll hold power with him as an equal, not as his employee.” Vic stretches his legs. “I knew how important she was when they announced her. I tried to get you to shut up and watch.”
“What?” I don’t remember him saying shit.
“Yeah. You said Ranger named her CO, not Acting CO. That’s all I needed to hear.” I stare at him. “Ranger gave his woman, who has never worked in the company at that level, his power and authority. He never did that for Tank and Tank’s his six. His back. Tank’s had his ass through the best and the worst, but he’s never been named Acting CO or CO in Ranger’s absence.
You did some digging and found out that she’d been on the paperwork for years. This was no last minute move because of the op. He planned this, has been planning it for years. Remember? I hit you up at the first staff meeting after you came back from Trenton and told you to shut up about her. Watch and learn. Assess her on her own merits.”
I lie back on the mats. Yeah, I remember him saying that now.
“You ignored me. You were certain she was a disaster and nothing I could say or do would prove otherwise.”
“Yeah. I earned this,” I mutter.
“Yeah, you did,” he says. “But like I said, I think she intends to save your ass. I think she actually likes you.” I look over at him. “Every man here was watching. We’d all agreed to try to save your ass with her if it appeared she hated you.”
“How?”
“We’d all pulled out our best stories about you. The ones that highlighted your strengths, like courage, honor, conviction. You at your best but we didn’t need them. She liked you. She joked around with you, she treated you like she did Danny and she didn’t say anything negative about you. We realized if she did hate you, she was a damn good actress.”
“You?”
Vic sighs. “You’ve been a shit partner, yeah, but you’re Mark. I’m about to endure another fucking winter in this hellhole because when you have it together, you’re my boy.” I look over at him and he smiles wryly. “Oh, you’re not forgiven. Not yet.” I laugh. “But I’m finally not angry anymore.”
“Because you got to bruise my ribs?”
“That definitely helped.”
We both laugh. We sit and think for a few moments. “Assume they add someone to Leadership Core. Who’s next?”
“Humility,” Vic says, looking at me. I redden but shake my head.
“It’s going to happen. I’ve long thought it would be me. Steph told us all at the beach that they consolidated power to themselves, but I know Ranger planned to add one more person. Just one. He told me that years ago and I thought he was telling me that so I could prepare.”
“Is that why you’ve been such an ass?” Vic says, staring at me.
“Yeah.”
He blows a breath. “Fuck . . . well believe me, you fucked that up.” I drop my eyes and nod. “Honestly, if they add anyone, anyone in the company, it would be Hector.”
“That’s what I’ve been thinking. He’s a member of their personal brotherhood, he’s been with the company almost five years and he has special skills.”
“Yeah. I think you called that one. It would be Hector.”
“What about the CO?” I don’t want to discount her. Last time I did that, I got my ass handed to me.
Vic shakes his head. “Too new. The Leadership Core believes in sustained loyalty. Demonstrated excellence and loyalty. The CO is brilliant but she hasn’t even been here a year and, quite frankly, if you get someone with management experience, anyone could do the job. She’s only temporary and it’s a one year gig, less if Ranger comes back early. Ranger can do her job if and when she leaves because it’s his job. Who can do Hector’s job and has their complete trust?”
I nod. Good point. Yeah. Hector’s going to get the last spot, if they still intend to add one more.
“Don’t discount her though,” Vic says. “I doubt the Leadership Core will let her get away. They’ll keep her in the company. Honestly, I think the org structure we have now is permanent. If she leaves, big if there, they’ll find someone to take her job at that level. But I doubt they let her get away.”
I snort. She already knows.
“I know Ranger. I know Lester and Tank and Bobby. Right now, five months into my time at the head, this company has grown 7½%. I’m going to be hit with every form of emotional blackmail those four can come up with to stay in this position.”
I disconnect and sit back.
Mando’s finally about to fire that asshole cousin of his. Thank God.
I’ve been telling him to do it for ages but he just couldn’t do it. Took me a long time (and a reminder from Vic) to remember what his family was like. Damn. My parents might have been detached but Mando’s?
He would’ve had an easier time being raised by wolves.
I’m making a mental note to call him later tonight when the phone rings.
“Yo.” Hm … there was something else I needed to do.
“Mark.” Tank. I put the pen down.
“Sir?”
“Good job supporting Mando today. Nice to see you step forward to help your fellow XOs.”
I don’t miss the emphasis, but I don’t know if I’ve ever gotten a call like this from Tank. “Thank you, sir.”
“Next steps?”
“Looking forward to seeing the survey results, sir. Need to know what modifications I’ll need to make in my branch.”
“Good. Work with HR on that.”
A mental image of Candy in one of those skimpy bikinis springs to mind and my dick goes zero to sixty in ten seconds. Bea Arthur, Bea Arthur, Bea Arthur . . . relief.
“Yes, sir.”
Silence, then, “Your scores are exceptionally low. You and Hal had the best scores among the XOs.”
I smile. Anyone who read those questions carefully could see the trick. “Thank you, sir.”
“Had you seen that survey before?”
I smile. A veiled way of asking if my parents had ever discussed how to get around those surveys before.
“No, sir. However, if you’re asking me if I saw the purpose behind the survey, then yes. I sussed it out quickly.”
“How?”
“My parents taught me to read all survey questions first and look for commonalities. It was clear what the survey was testing when I took it. It would have been smarter to make the questions appear one at a time, so you couldn’t tease out the truth.”
“So . . . your scores are biased?”
I cringe. And I fell right into his trap. “No, sir. I took the survey giving my true thoughts and feelings. I simply understood what it was measuring and was curious to know how I would score.”
“Good to know. The scores will be released in an hour.” Click.
I have to stop underestimating Tank. It’s always led to trouble.
I decide to stay over at RangeMan. I need to get an early start tomorrow and I’ve already had a long day.
My office came out very well. 1.65 Hostile, 1.05 Benevolent. Danny called all of the XOs together and, while Mando was cleaning his office, we got together to discuss. Overall, Trenton and Boston tied, but our hostile is higher. Their benevolent is higher.
We chalked that up to the men in my office dating ‘ball busters’ from the surrounding colleges and Trenton’s feelings toward the CO.
I check the time. 2100. I dial Mando.
“Yo.”
“Yo.”
“Sound tired.”
Mando snorts. “I am. Exhausted. Firing people is much more draining than you think.”
“How are you feeling?”
Mando is silent for a long time. “You know, you’re the first person to ask me that today.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Usually, everyone’s next question is, ‘So how did Tony take his firing?'”
I snort. “I don’t give a fuck about him. He’s no longer a brother so he can go rot in hell. You? You’re still a brother and my boy so I need to know how you and Mari are holding up.”
Another extended silence. “Mari and the girls are in Atlanta with Danny and his family. Just in case someone goes looking for them. Me? Honestly, I started today with a lot of energy, peaked, and now I’m feeling run down.”
“Need some exercise?”
“Yeah, but Mari’s not here.”
I laugh. I’ve watched Mando and Mari for years. I’m jealous. I’d love to meet a beautiful woman like that, someone with her head on straight, ambition, and devotion. Hot body wouldn’t hurt either.
“She’s already got your son. Give her a break.”
“Nothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman, Mark. You need to find a good woman and get a life.”
“Oh, not you too,” I moan.
He laughs. “Parents back on that?”
“Yes! Like I’m walking around Boston with my eyes closed. Sheesh.”
Mando’s still laughing. “OK, so maybe not a woman, but I will say this: You need some balance in your life. Being here in Charlotte, away from my family with just Mari and my girls, family is really important. I spend nights and weekends with them again. My girls know me again. That’s important.”
“Good for you, man.”
“Thanks. So I’m telling you, get some balance. Get out of the office. Find a sports bar and adopt a stool.”
“Cheers?” I’m amused.
“Something like that. Hey, are you still thinking about fixed-wing certification?”
“Got it. Two years ago.” I pull my iPad and look at the pages I bookmarked. I’m thinking of buying a plane.
“Then get some flight time in. Just get out of the office. You know what I’ve realized?”
“Besides your newfound devotion to therapy? What?”
Mando laughs. “First, screw you. Oh wait, no one’s doing that,”—I flip him a mental finger—”which leads to my second point. Steph was right. We’re all too devoted to RangeMan. We have to get out of the office and get some perspective. I take 30 minutes every day and walk the neighborhood around RangeMan and think about the biggest problem I have that day and by the time I make it back, I’ve solved it.”
I stare at my wall. Now that sound like a reason to jog at noon instead of first thing in the morning.
Plus, it’ll throw the fan club off. I’m tired of being whistled at. If you’re going to whistle at me, have the courage to approach me and say hello.
“Not bad. I may take you up on it.”
I lean back against the headboard and shoot the shit with Mando for an hour. He seems desperate to talk to someone about both the Miami and Charlotte offices and I’m desperate not to think about how I’m going to have to repair my rep.
At the end of the call, I remember what it was I needed to do.
“Mando?”
“Yeah?”
“Look, I need to tell you that I’m sorry.”
Silence. “For?”
“For poking my nose in your office. I made your life much worse than it had to be just trying to check on you. I’m sorry, man. I shoulda stayed out of it.”
Mando is quiet for a while. Finally, he says, “Thanks, Mark. I forgive you.”
“Really?” That easily?
“Yeah. I have to. Step one in letting go of drama in my life is forgiving those who ask for it.”
“Is it working?”
“I think so. I can finally talk to Jesús without wanting to kill him.”
I laugh. “How’s his comedy career?”
“Taking off. Apparently, having Mamí in his home isn’t nearly as funny as it was when she was in my home, but Hollywood thinks it’s hilarious.”
I laugh. “The difference between a sadist and a masochist. On someone else, a sadist. On oneself, a masochist.”
Mando laughs. “Mari’s been saying schadenfreude.”
“I’ll bet. Your wife’s bloodthirsty.”
“She doesn’t tolerate as much shit as I do.”
Which is the only reason you’re still on this side of sane, bro.
Ram’s POV
I’m sitting outside the Plum family home trying to screw up my courage to go inside and apologize.
For insulting them while enjoying their hospitality. Not for what I said. I can’t apologize for telling the truth.
I see Mrs. Plum standing on the porch of her home staring at me, so I finally get out of the truck and carefully lift the bouquet I brought as a peace offering. I see her snort.
“Bribery?”
I blush. “Gift. Floral apology.”
She stares at me before taking the flowers and directing me to stand on the porch. I look around. Normally, this is just a place to rest when caught in the rain, so I check the mental catalog for changes. Like everything in the Plum home, it’s kept neat and tidy. There’s a row of potted plants underneath the window and a small bench resting against the wall that separates their duplex from the neighbor. Nothing’s changed.
I’m not ignorant of the fact that I wasn’t invited inside the house. I don’t expect to be invited in until I apologize. I hope I can get this out.
Under normal circumstances, I’d hold this apology for a while, but I have to do this now. One, because Steph can’t afford to be down a bodyguard right now. The op is too dangerous for me to be banned from her parents’ home because I couldn’t hold my tongue. Two, I like Angie and MA and I don’t want to lose all contact with them just because I told their mother to quit whining.
Valerie Kloughn may never forgive me but I’ve tried to help her. I got her child support for her, I’m protecting her children, and I convinced Hal to put them on the payroll, just in case, like their mother, they might pass their checks over to Albert.
My respect for Albert Kloughn rose when I heard he took the girls to open bank accounts of their own. Makes me dislike Val even more. She has a good man and she’s treating him like shit.
Mr. and Mrs. Plum return and stand on the porch with me. I screw up my courage and begin.
“I know I sent a note, but a note is insufficient to express how deeply embarrassed and sorry I am to have insulted both you and your family while sitting at your table, Mrs. Plum. I assure you, that’s not how my mother raised me and she’d be ashamed to know that I’d disrespected you in the manner I did. It wasn’t my place to say what I said and I certainly shouldn’t have said it while a guest in your home. I can only hope you accept my sincere apology and my assurance that it will never happen again.”
Mr. Plum stares at me before nodding. “Let’s take this inside.”
I sigh mentally. Step one complete. I’m invited in and directed to sit at the scene of the crime. The Plums sit on the other side of the table.
“Why?” Mrs. Plum asks, arms crossed against her chest. “Why should I believe that? You called me an alcoholic and made it seem as if I don’t love my daughters. You called my mother a sexual predator and insinuated that she didn’t have any control. You called my daughter spoiled, insulted her by calling her a child, and made it seem as if all she did was yell at her husband.
I love my daughters, Ramsay. I do and I want the best for them. I want them to have happy stable lives like I’ve had for the past 36 years. I’m sure that’s what your mother wants for you. My daughters? My daughters live in fantasy worlds. I’m the only person here who lives in the real world.
I’ve watched Stephanie get into scrapes for nearly 33 years. If she wasn’t walking into the boys’ bathroom at school, pretending to be invisible, she was jumping off the roof and breaking her arm. She married Dickie, who we didn’t like—”
“Hated him,” Mr. Plum mutters.
“But she wanted him. So I got behind it. I supported my daughter’s decision to get married. I helped plan it, found nice things to say about him, quieted her jitters over getting married and what happened? They divorced and it’s my fault. ‘You loved him. You thought he was wonderful.’ No, I didn’t! I hated him, didn’t I, Frank?”
“Yes, we both did.”
“But that was her choice and he seemed like a good man at first, so we started to like him. We gave him a chance.” Mrs. Plum grasps her husband’s hand. “My mother-in-law told me, when Frank and I married, that step one of being a good in-law was to keep your mouth shut. This person will someday be the mother or father of your grandchildren and the last thing you want is to have a bad relationship with them.”
“Which is the only reason Edna stayed alive so long,” Mr. Plum mutters, and I can’t help but grin.
“We told Stephanie to steer clear of the Morelli boys because we knew their reputations and what happened? Joseph Morelli ends up writing dirty poems about her on the walls of the buildings in town that made it clear what he’d done with our daughter.”
Mr. Plum’s jaw tenses.
“I tried to encourage her relationship with Joseph because I hoped that if they liked each other enough to do what they did as teenagers then maybe they would decide to make it official as adults. Instead, I have the pleasure of hearing ‘alley stories”—I wince—”featuring her and your boss. So instead of clearing her reputation, it simply appears that my daughter really is a slut! You and Stephanie and the RangeMen might not believe that reputation is important but it is! Reputation still means something in this world and people with bad reputations in one area of their life are seen as bad people. Untrustworthy, no matter what else they do.”
I wince. She has a point. Reputation is everything in business, which is why RangeMan is considered an elite company. RangeMan’s rep in Miami is on life support because one area, bodyguards, tainted everything else.
“I don’t want my daughter thought of that way but I’m being unreasonable! I want my daughter to grow up and act like a reasonable adult and I’m the unreasonable one. Everything I do is in hopes that Stephanie will finally find some purpose to her life and you make me seem like a candidate for ‘Horrible Mother of the Year’ simply because I’m the one trying to help!”
Mrs. Plum’s voice has risen steadily through this explanation and she finally breaks into tears and leaves the room. I’m staring at the table. Damn. I hate seeing a woman cry.
“You have no idea what goes on in this house, Ramsay,” Mr. Plum says quietly. “Now, I wanted to kick your ass for sitting at my table, eating my wife’s cooking and insulting my family. However, I’ve had months to get to know you. I know you to be a straight shooter and, as insulting as you were, everything you said was true. I notice that, even now, you aren’t apologizing for what you actually said.” I feel myself redden. “I choose to believe that your apology is sincere and I accept it.”
“Thank you,” I reply, just as quietly.
He smiles faintly. “Now, between you and me, you said what needed to be said. However, if you ever pull a stunt like that again, you won’t make it out of the door.” Mr. Plum’s watery blue eyes suddenly seem full of resolve and I get the feeling he absolutely would carry out the threat.
“Never again. I’ll go back to silent statue.”
He shudders. “Please don’t. That’ll only leave me Kloughn to talk to. Stay away from discussing my family and you and I will be OK again.”
“Yes, sir.”
I smirk but wipe my face of all expression as Mrs. Plum returns with glasses of tea for all of us. She’s wiped her eyes and is calm again.
“My daughters and my mother make their own choices in life and I’m the one left trying to salvage their reputations. I’m the one endlessly apologizing to whoever happens to own Stiva’s because no matter how many times I tell my mother to quit, she will insist on seeing the person in the casket.
Quite frankly, I’m just as surprised as all of you that no one’s arrested her on molestation charges. I know Joseph was ordered by his superiors to do that once and he and I managed to get out of doing it because I called Joe Juniak for help.”
Well, that’s new info. Can’t wait to tell Hal.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve told, we’ve told, Valerie to quit whining and help her husband. Both Mr. Plum and I have tried to help my daughter but I can’t make her shut up. All I can do is what I’ve done, which is support them by babysitting my grandchildren. My mother helped her get her job. Frank and Albert have worked to get their finances straight. But I’m the horrible mother?”
I finally have some tiny amount of sympathy for Mrs. Plum for the very first time. As my mom says (when my siblings and I piss her off): ‘Can’t control adults’.
Edna, Val, and Steph? I finally understand the drinking problem.
She stares at me, blue eyes cold. “I look forward to the day you become a parent, Ramsay Sinclair. Then you’ll understand what it’s like to watch your children make mistake after mistake and no matter how you try to help, you’re wrong. You give advice, you’re wrong. You say nothing, you’re wrong.
Being a mother is a job where everyone thinks they know what’s best and everyone has an opinion but everyone needs to keep their noses out of it.” She sips her tea. “I accept your apology. I accept it because you didn’t hesitate to give it. But Ramsay”–she sets the tea down–”if you ever do that at my table again, you are permanently uninvited from this house. Understood?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She nods and cuts me a slice of Entenmann’s. Mr. Plum asks me about last night’s game on TV and we discuss that for fifteen minutes before I thank them for the cake and walk to the car.
I leave, sobered. My apology was accepted and I got an earful back. The Plums delivered a verbal ass whipping to me and I had to take it.
Most of what Mrs. Plum said was complete and utter bullshit that entirely missed the point of what I said, but it made them feel better so I’ll take it.
Besides, I thought it might be inconsiderate to offer an apology then point out that Mrs. Plum had had at least two whiskeys. It was unmistakable. She reeked of whisky fumes. I’m wondering if her glass was just tea.
Never mind. Mr. Plum said leave off his family.
None of my business.
“But we can’t go back. We can only go forward.”
― Libba Bray
