I FINALLY Get It–Alternate Beginning

This is how Chapter 95 was going to start at one point. I scrapped this because it didn’t take me where I needed to go in this chapter.


Steph’s POV

“Steph?” I turn. Zip. “Want to try again?”

I quickly grab my things, check with Hector on 3, and join Binkie and Zip in the garage. Just like yesterday, we travel to Franklin Park and set up. It’s 0800, we have breakfast burritos from Ella and we’re feeling good, although it’s chilly. I wonder when the cold front from Boston will travel down here. I bet Mijo would love to play with some snow before he goes home.

Minutes later, he arrives.

Zip clears his throat. “Verify.”

Thomas Mann. He’s just climbing out of Drew’s car when I approach.

“Hi Thomas!” I’m extra loud to accommodate his hangover.

He moans and turns, peering at me from one bloodshot eye. “Oh. You again? Come on, little girl, you—“

I sweep his feet, use my elbow to knock him down to the ground and put my foot in his back. He hit the concrete sidewalk hard and started yelling. Meanwhile, I see Drew coming around the back side of the car, so I draw the Glock and point it at him.

“Bonds enforcement, Drew, so let’s not make this personal.”

“That’s police brutality!” he yells, then clutches his forehead.

“Good thing I’m not the police then, huh?” By now, Zip’s by my side and he’s drawn and aiming at Drew. Woody sneaks up behind Drew and has another gun trained on him.

“Don’t move,” Woody hisses. I put my gun back in the holster and pull my handcuffs.

“Hi Thomas!”

“Fuck you bitch.”

“Yeah, I’m really getting tired of being called a bitch,” I reply, cuffing him extra tight. “Be thankful you got me. Lester’s really not happy about the loss of his BMW. He plans to pay you a personal visit.”

Thomas blanches. I nod at Nancy and Sue, both of whom are standing on the porch stunned, and help Thomas to his feet. “Keep it moving, asshole. See? I can call you nasty names too.” He has a bloody nose from the fall and Zip’s smiling. He takes his nose and pinches the bridge hard. Thomas yelps and Zip tilts his head back.

“Yeah, yeah, we know. Ouchie, ouchie, ouchie,” Zip says, amused. “At least it’s not your leg.”

I secure Thomas down while Zip holds the gun on him. Once he’s secure, we walk back over to Woody, who still has a gun trained on Drew.

“And you have a bond too!” I yell. Drew’s wincing. “Isn’t this a great morning to be handcuffed and taken back to jail?”

“I’ll come quietly as long as you stop yelling,” he whispers. I smirk and hold my gun on him while Woody cuffs him and loads him in the backseat with Thomas.

I climb back into the driver’s seat and grin at Zip.

“No garbage, no running, no mess. It’s almost no fun.”

Zip smiles. “The day is just starting. Three more to go.”

I turn on the SUV and head to the Cop Shop.

3 comments

  1. Laurie

    Yeah, I like your version much better. This version didn’t let you go anywhere and she needed to realize her life meant something. Having killed Drew off the way you did got her there. Thanks for the insight. It’s always interesting.

  2. molly9429

    I think you did right making it Drew instead of Thomas in the posted version. The blowing up of another vehicle hit home that she had to change and the crazies won’t. The fire was hard to read, but I think you made the point you were going for that way. However I could never edit myself like you do. If I got that much out it wouldn’t change.

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