A/N: I got playful with Mañoso in this chapter. Because I know you might be confused:

Ranger: The military trained soldier, who thinks of things in military terms.

Carlos: The closest approximation of Ranger’s core self. The part of him that only Steph gets. The vulnerable side of Mañoso.

Ric: The ‘normal’ side of Ranger. The side the guys know, the side people might be allowed to see. Mañoso’s ‘normal’ train of thought.

When you see brackets [], the personalities are arguing.

This should be fun.

---

Ranger‘s POV

She’s staring at me.

“Babe.”

“Carlos.”

I open my eyes, a smile curving my lips. Steph’s looking at me, a happy smile on her face. “Hey.” I kiss her.

“Hey.”

“Kinda cold for bikinis, Babe.”

“Damn.”

I laugh. Steph. The one and only. She leaves to hit the bathroom and I roll over onto my back and stare at the ceiling. She climbs back in and settles on my chest.

“Ranger?” I don’t answer. “Ranger?” She looks up. I’ve raised an eyebrow. “Carlos?”

“Babe.”

I get poked. “More than one word.”

“What’s up, Babe?”

“We need to talk.”

What does that mean? What did I do? “About?”

“Us?”

“There is an us, right?” She nods. Relief. “OK. Then what do we need to talk about?”

“Two things.” She sits up. “One, we need to talk about how ‘us’ will work.”

“RangeMan?”

“Among other things.”

Oh joy. “Two?”

“We need to talk about fights.”

“I don’t fight.”

“I do.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You’ll be fighting alone. I’m not sticking around when you start screaming.”

She looks stricken. It’s quiet for a few minutes as we gaze at each other, Steph white-faced, me utterly calm.

“That’s what we need to talk about. Ground rules,” she whispers.

“Ground rules for having disagreements and arguments.”

“Right.”

“No, seriously Babe.” I sit up. “The word ‘fight’ has a negative connotation, as if you and I are armed adversaries on opposite sides and it’s a battle to the death. We can disagree, we can argue, but we will not fight.”

“OK,” she says softly.

I nod. “Good. I’m willing to discuss, disagree and argue with you all day, but the moment you start screaming at me, it’s over. The discussion is done. That’s my ground rule number one.”

She stares at me. “Fine. My ground rule number one is neither of us walks away before we have a conclusion.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Not sure about that one, Babe.”

“I am.” She’s suddenly fierce. “If you don’t stop me, I’ll run, and if you shut down on me I’ll run. So if you want there to be an us, you better not walk away.”

I lean back against the headboard and stare at her. “Fine.”

She nods. “Good. Now, let’s get some breakfast. I guess we’re going to start with the ground rules for fights”—I raise a brow—”disagreements first.”

—oOo—

I handle breakfast. Veggie omelets but I add cheese to hers. She cuts fruit and pours OJ into glasses and we sit down to breakfast in the dining room. She washes dishes while I head back upstairs and wash up. She joins me and while she washes up I make the bed.

As she’s dressing, I consider the ease with which we work domestically. I cook, she cleans, and we don’t bump into each other. We don’t get in each other’s way. I like it. It feels homey and right, as if we’ve been doing it all our lives.

“Carlos?”

“Hmm?”

“What’s that face about?”

I give her a half smile. “Just thinking that, domestically, we’re in sync.” She tries to lift a brow. I smile. “You and I don’t argue about who does what. We fix meals and clean without thinking about it.” I kiss her. “It’s nice. One less discussion. Would really love it if you didn’t leave your shoes everywhere though. I nearly tripped over them last night.”

She winces. “Sorry. I’ll work on that.”

“Thanks.” We head back upstairs and walk into the office off the bedroom. Steph sits in my office chair with a legal pad and I’m on the other side of the desk with my laptop.

“OK, so let’s talk about ground rules. We have two straight already—”

“Wait, before we get started, what brought this on?”

She plays with her fingers to avoid looking at me. I wait, wondering what I said.

“I talked to my Dad and he asked me if I was afraid to fight with you.”

Not me this time? “And?”

She sighs. “It’s not that I’m afraid to fight with you. We’ve never really fought.”

Our ‘discussion’ in Miami, when Hec was shot, came pretty close, Babe.

“Anyway, I realized that I fought Joe all the time. We screamed at each other. We didn’t know how to fight, how to disagree, because we’re both Italian. We knew how to yell and we did but it never solved anything.” She looks directly at me, a muscle in her jaw twitching. “When you said that if I start screaming you’ll walk, I realized that if you walked that would hurt more than if you screamed back at me.” She shrugs, but I leave my seat and pick her up.

“Glad you told me that,” I whisper. She tosses the legal pad and pen on top of the desk and wraps her arms around my neck. I stand there, holding her, until I feel her sniff. I look down and she’s wiping her eyes.

“I’m Italian. We yell. We yell, scream, throw things, curse you, and wave our arms—”

“The Hungarian side?”

“Same.”

“Fuck.”

“On both sides.” We smile at each other. “I know how to handle that but if you walk away, I don’t know how to respond to that.” She sighs deeply. “Sometimes I wonder if you have emotions, Ranger.”

I stiffen. “I have ’em, Babe.” You’d be scared shitless of most of them. There’s a thin line between soldier, mercenary, and assassin. Besides, I’m Latino. I have a hell of a temper but I’ve always controlled it.

I sit on the couch and put my laptop on the table in front of me. Steph joins me on the couch and we both lean against each other.

“You never show them.”

“Ranger training. Never show what you’re thinking or feeling.”

“Hec said I’ve never seen you lose your temper.”

“You haven’t. Not even close.”

“That bad?”

I came up with ‘Stan trips’ when I was pissed off. “Everyone leaves me alone.”

She winces. “Tank?”

“Including Tank.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.” I look at my computer. “So, no walking away, no screaming. What else?” I look up; she’s chewing on her lip. “OK, I have one. Present options.”

“Present options?”

I nod. “After all, when we disagree about your safety, that’s your request. We have to give you options. So let’s just make that a base rule. If you disagree with my opinion or suggestions, offer your own.”

She nods. “OK. Umm … No name calling.”

“Agreed.”

“And no throwing my past back in my face.”

“Works both ways, Babe. I won’t throw your past back in your face if you don’t throw my words back in my face.”

She cringes but I hold her gaze. I thought so. She wanted to set ground rules so she could attack some of the shitty things I’ve said to her in the past. Well, I plan to make that up to her, but if she’s not willing to acknowledge, accept, and apologize for her past bad decisions, she can’t throw my words in my face. I have to give her the actions that’ll show her that I regret my words just as she’s had to train and take her safety seriously to prove that her previous insane actions were wrong.

The mall thing proved that she still didn’t quite get it, but we’ve all agreed not to throw that in her face. The situation has not changed. She still hasn’t shown that she takes her safety seriously, but I’ve been waiting for her for four years. I’m willing to chance this.

I can see this one is hard. She still wants to have it out about my words, but Bobby’s already slammed her once. I’m sure she doesn’t want to get it from me either and the possibility is there. Finally, her shoulders slump and she nods. “Agreed.”

Good. I’ll apologize in my own time, not because I was forced.

“No ultimatums or threats.” I hold her gaze. “The first time you say this relationship is over and walk out my door, it’s over for me. No off-phases, no breaking up for two weeks, no leaving. I won’t be The Cop. You won’t walk in and out of my home and my life like you did him. You’re either all in or not. If you’re not ready for that, let’s stop right here and now.”

“That’s an ultimatum and you’re throwing my past in my face,” she says, frowning.

I smile. “True. But this isn’t an argument. We’re setting ground rules.”

She breathes deep and drums her pen against her legal pad. I’m taking away the security blanket. I find this both amusing and insulting. She has to think about whether or not she’s in this relationship? Didn’t she just tell me a few weeks ago that she was? Now, because I’m making it clear that I won’t play Morelli’s game, she has to think about this?

Maybe we should stop and not talk about a relationship until after she’s had some counseling.

“Babe—”

“Fine. I agree.” I raise a brow. Then again, she’s running the show here. She’s ready for this discussion? OK. “I agree. Next rule: Blank faces are illegal when we have a fight, disagreement.”

[Hell no, Captain! No fucking way! We do NOT discard training! We do NOT discard habit! Opening your emotions to an untested element is the way to betrayal! Stand strong, Soldier!

Errr . . . Ranger, I kindly request that you shut the fuck up. Look, Mañoso, you want this woman? Time to listen to me. Carlos knows the deal here. She’s not asking for the impossible. She’s asking to know the man, not the Ranger, not the child Ric. The man, Carlos. Besides, the Captain needs to remember that the ‘untested element’ next to us has had multiple opportunities to betray us and never has. She’s been tested and passed. Time for him to shut up . . .]

Steph is staring at me. “I want to talk to Carlos, the man who loves me,” she says softly, as if I’m a wild animal that needs to be comforted. I wonder what my face looks like. “I’m not fighting with Ranger, the US Army trained Ranger, every time we need to discuss something. If I’m not talking to Carlos, then this is useless.”

[Ha! Told you. She knows better. You want this woman? Give her you . . . err, me. She says she’s ready. You say you’re ready. So do it. Just do it.

Love is not a Nike slogan, Carlos.

Again, Captain, shut the fuck up. (whisper) Come on, just do it! Besides, I don’t get out often. I’m tired of only getting to say hello to this woman when she’s flat on her back.

Or riding you like a pony.

Whatever. I’m tired of only getting to say hello when there’s an orgasm at the end. You wanna know why I’m so chatty during sex? It’s the only time I get to say anything. You two idiots had me handcuffed and gagged.

Ball gagged.

I’m not admitting that.

Are you really complaining about getting laid?

No . . . I’m tired of emotionless sex. She touches me. I want her to touch me more often, preferably in those panties she wore in Miami.

Agreed.

Oh hell yeah. Matter of fact, where did we have the shipment sent?

Trenton.

Thank god. You think she’s wearing—

STOP! Don’t even start thinking about it. You get distracted and we’ll never find out.

You sure you know what you’re doing?

I have a better idea than you two. This’ll happen if you’re not in the way. Come on, let me out to parley!]

I think I might be losing my mind.

Steph’s holding my gaze so I finally nod. “Fine. I’ll try to keep the blank face at a minimum, but if it slides in place, call me out. I do it without thinking sometimes.”

“Fine.”

We both take a deep breath and stare at the list. Carlos is partying in my mind. “Anything else?”

She shakes her head. I look at the list and think quickly. Ranger puts in one last request before agreeing to shut up for a while.

“When we argue, I don’t want to go around the world to find out the real point of the argument. I want to know what the real problem is from the beginning.”

“What?” She looks confused.

I put the laptop down. “You woke me up telling me we needed to talk. You tell me it’s because we need ground rules. I agree with that, but what it really came down to is that A, you have something you want to talk to me about right now and you aren’t ready to talk about it”—she blushes—”and B, you and Morelli fought all the time and it never resolved anything. I’m not Morelli. I think us putting ground rules in place is a good idea, but you have something else you’re building up to. Right?”

Her face is beet red.

“So, we’ve spent an hour discussing something that was useful and I’m sure we’ll use it a lot in the future, but that wasn’t what this was really about. It’s about whatever you haven’t mentioned yet. That’s what I mean. I don’t want to spend all day working my way around to the real issue.”

“Oh.” She bites her thumb and I smile and rescue her thumb.

“I love you, Babe. Whatever it is you want to talk about won’t change my mind about that. Agreed?”

—oOo—

Steph‘s POV

“Agreed.”

How did he know? Ranger slides the laptop forward and leaves the room. I hear the fridge open, and he walks in with two glasses of water. I take a deep breath and prepare to be very hurt by the only person who has the power to truly hurt me.

“OK then. Before we go any further, I want to talk about what I really wanted to talk about.”

“OK.” He kicks back, looking at me. I put the legal pad down and face him, looking at my fingers.

“I need you to know that some of the things you’ve said to me over the years have really hurt me.” I look up. Ranger’s face isn’t military blank, but it is blank and pained. “You have a blank face in place.” The face twitches but doesn’t budge much. “Still there.” The ‘military’ blank face slams in place and I sigh. “Now I’m looking at Ranger.”

He nods. “That first face was Carlos trying to be neutral.”

That face sucks. It looks like Ranger’s constipated. “Oh. Well, I guess he can come back.” Ranger has a half smile on his face as the ‘military’ blank face lifts. Carlos comes back. “Anyway, some of the stuff you’ve said has really hurt. Telling me that your love came with a condom but not a ring, Ranger?”

He lifts a brow. “Did we not just say that I won’t throw your past in your face if you don’t throw my words in my face?”

Damn! I bite my lip. “Well, not after today. This is the first, last, and only time we’ll discuss this.”

He stares at me. “Fine. Go on.” I hear him mutter, “Great job, Carlos. Where’s Ranger when I need him?”

“OK.” My anger at that starts to build again. “Like I said, we’d just slept together a few days before. It was wonderful. I wondered what it really meant and the next time I see you you tell me that?” I clench my jaw to keep from crying. I’m determined not to cry. “I mean, what the hell? What was I supposed to think?”

“What did you want me to say, Babe?”

“Not that!”

He leans forward. “First, let’s examine the statement. We were leaving Mama Macaroni’s funeral. You were red and blotchy and asked me if you were and I said . . . What did I say, Steph?”

“Yeah, but I love you anyway,” I mumble.

Ranger’s hands move as if to say ‘There!’ “So I admitted that I loved you and I kissed you. You told me, ‘There’s all kinds of love.'” Well, thank you for kicking my declaration in the teeth.” I look at Ranger in astonishment. “OK, so my declaration wasn’t filled with flowers and candy and candlelight. You’d just cried and blubbed all over my shirt. I’m wet with tears and snot”—my cheeks heat up—”and I’m the one holding you at the funeral of a woman who hated you and you hated her, a woman who died because of a bomb attached to your car—”

“Thanks for the reminder,” I moan.

“Yeah, we’ll come back to that. Anyway, I tell you I love you and you tell me, ‘There’s all kinds of love’. Wow, OK. I guess you don’t love me, so I backpedaled that statement.” My jaw drops. “You’ve never, ever told me you loved me until a few weeks ago. I’ve been saying it for three years.”

I flush. “Then you follow it up with shit statements like that!”

“Again, what did you want me to say? You were on one of your many many breaks from Morelli. I got you in a weak moment and somehow I end up admitting I love you. Yes, my love came with a condom! First, you didn’t want kids. Second, you were fucking Morelli the entire time! Third, you’d just gotten out of an engagement with him a few months earlier, remember? I remembered how panicked you looked every time someone mentioned it. I thought if I mentioned a ring, you’d lose it.”

Un-fucking-real! I suck in a breath. Carlos’s face is red and angry.

“How was I supposed to take you seriously, Ranger? You tell me you love me but you need a condom to love me? That’s like saying I’m a whore.”

Carlos is conspicuously quiet.

“Are you calling me a ‘ho?” I ask, when he doesn’t say anything.

“You called yourself a ‘ho.”

“You didn’t disagree!”

“I found it laughable, but I assumed laughing was inappropriate here.” My mouth is hanging. Carlos shrugs. “Fine. Let me say it out loud. No, I don’t think you’re a whore. Now, let’s start from basics, Steph. Were you aware that I loved you?”

My mouth shuts with a snap. “No!”

His eyebrow rises. “Really? I’m the one saying it. I’m there for you from the moment we meet. I’ve backed you, rescued you, never asked you for payment and only the occasional favor, never favors that put you in danger, either—”

“You asked me to bug Dickie!”

“Dickie wasn’t violent. A little shit, yes, but not violent. I never would’ve sent you anywhere near him if I’d gotten a hint that he was violent.”

“I stalked the Ramoses for you!”

“I asked you to keep an eye on them, not fall into the backyard, get caught, and have the old man fall in love with you and turn you into his getaway driver.” Ranger’s smiling and shaking his head.

“That’s not funny.”

“No, it wasn’t. I thought I might lose some hair when I found out. Anyway, I put my men at your disposal to rescue you when I can’t. I put you on my insurance, in my will”—my mouth drops again—”and told Tank to make sure that if you needed a job, you had one. I tell you l love you and I’ve been saying it, and showing it, for a long time, and you choose to ignore everything I actually do for you and concentrate on the words I use to protect my own heart?”

“That’s because they were crap words, Ranger! You think your actions should cover everything and they don’t! They don’t when your words confuse the situation because I’m left not knowing which one to believe! That’s assuming I understand them! You tell me you love me but you tell me in Spanish—”

“And English, French, Arabic, and Italian. You really don’t understand ti amo? It’s your father’s language!”

“I never learned Italian!”

“Ti amo, te amo, you grew up listening to Sinatra, did you not?” My cheeks burn. Ranger rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but ti amo was beyond you to understand, right?”

“I speak English, Ranger, not Italian, not Spanish, not French.” I grit out. “Your words were crap. Are you rescuing me because you love me? Or because you don’t want to lose your entertainment tax deduction?”

“Oh, por el amor de cristo!” Ranger says, shaking his head. He stands and walks toward the window before reversing and walking toward the door.

“English, Ranger!”

“I said, for Christ’s sake!” He whirls around. “You know, I speak both English and Spanish fluently. You spend any time around my family and speaking Spanish is a fact of life. You have a partner who’s conned the entire fucking world into believing he doesn’t speak English and spent months teaching you the language! When I say a phrase in Spanish, quit acting as if I just spoke Klingon, por el amor de cristo!“

The silent three minute bell rings. We retreat to opposite ends of the room and stare at each other from our corners.

He blows out a breath. “I told you that when I speak from my heart, I speak in Spanish. I think in Spanish most of the time. I’m a Cuban American who grew up in a fiercely proud family. We speak Spanish at the dinner table, my relatives all speak it, my grandmother only speaks Spanish. It keeps our history, our heritage, alive. I speak English to you because I know you speak English, but don’t yell at me for speaking in my mother tongue!”

Ranger’s nostrils have flared and he’s gritting his teeth. “Don’t yell ‘English!’ at me. Ask me to translate what I said and learn Spanish. You’re in a relationship with a Latino man and working in a company where Spanish is an unofficial management requirement. Learn my language. I know yours.”

I’ve sunk to the floor. Again, the three minute bell rings in my head. Ranger and I are staring at each other. His shoulders finally slump. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, but you hit a sore point.”

“I see.” I also see Ranger does have emotions. Oddly enough, if this is anger I’m not afraid of it, but I think this is irritation. He didn’t yell … he just got very loud for a moment. Ranger yelling is Joe getting started.

“Please learn Spanish. There are a lot of phrases that don’t translate well.”

“I’m learning. I’m trying.”

“I know. Thank you.” He exhales. “Hec tell you he learned French?” My mouth drops and he smiles wanly. “He only sleeps four hours a night. It was something new to do to fill up the nights.”

“Why French?”

“It’s the language the guys and I slip into most often. Most people don’t speak it. Bobby grew up speaking French.”

“Oh.”

Ranger sits on the couch and rubs his face. “You aren’t that funny, Steph. Do you really believe I’m writing off your accidents as ‘entertainment’?”

“I don’t know, Ranger. That’s what you told me.”

“You think I think your accidents are funny?”

“I’m entertainment to you and the men. Your words.”

“Really?” His voice drips disdain. “When was the last time I laughed? When’s the last time the men laughed? We look like Trenton PD to you?”

We stare at each other, me angry and hurt, Ranger calm now and bored looking. Is that it? Is that the Ranger-way of having an argument? When the guys argue, they just look bored.

“Ok. You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me a sensitive side, then you turn into a total asshole. Is this a pretty accurate description of our relationship?”

Ranger blinks then starts laughing. I watch as he leans over and stretches out on the couch, tears running down his face.

“Fight Club, Babe?” he asks, wiping his eyes.

“You weren’t supposed to catch the reference,” I mutter, embarrassed.

“Les was addicted to it at one point,” he says, calming down. “Babe, you really think I’ve been as bad as that?”

“You’ve come very close.”

He finally sobers. “Then I have been confusing,” he mutters.

“Thank you. Glad you finally caught on.”

He blows a breath and sits up. We’re quiet for a few minutes, looking for lost and whacked off body parts.

“I don’t write off your accidents as entertainment. I take the loss under business losses. The entertainment comment was an attempt to make a joke out of what I’d just said, which was that you were expensive,” he says quietly. “Again, backpedaling but fine. From now on, I won’t try to make a joke out of my statements. I’ll just say what I think and leave it at that.”

I don’t like the sound of that. That sounds like I’m going to hear a lot of hurtful statements. Do I want to be hurt or confused? Shit. No win.

“You think I don’t love you but you thought Morelli did? Morelli won’t let you drive his Jeep! He tosses your peanut butter but every time you come to my apartment, I have an entire cabinet of stuff only you eat and a housekeeper who can’t wait to make meals for you to enjoy!

I don’t see Morelli doing shit for you and he’s the one telling you what? Morelli tell you he loves you? Or does he call you incompetent? Morelli help you with your skips? Or does he scream at you when something goes wrong? He save your life or does he lie to you? You might not like the shit I say, Steph, and I might not always express it well, but I’ve never lied to you.” His eyes are boring into me. “Never.”

I stand up. “I’m calling bullshit on that! Your words didn’t match your actions. You slept with me and told me to patch up my relationship with Morelli—”

“Because if your bed was empty for too long, I’d make you forget him. I meant that. You decided to refill your bed.”

“So that was some kind of test!?”

The angrier I get, the calmer Ranger is. I can see our rules aren’t going to make it six hours.

“Nope. It was a statement of fact. You didn’t give me a chance to show —”

“It was a test!”

“No!” Ranger shouts, and the sound is so startling my mouth snaps shut. “It was not a test,” he says through clenched teeth. “It was a moment for you to make a decision, Steph. Who did you want? Me or Morelli? I wasn’t offering you shit while you were still sleeping with him! If you wanted a relationship with me, you needed to leave him and not because I fucked you into it. I gave you time and space and you jumped back in his bed in three days. You made your decision. I made mine.”

“Fuck me into it? Ranger, you barely stayed long enough the next morning to manage more than ‘Bye! I went back to him because you weren’t an option! You never let me know how you felt!”

His jaw drops. “You need options to get out of a bad relationship?” He raises a brow. “You need to know there’s another man waiting to take up the slack if you decide that the one you have isn’t working out? Is that what I have to look forward to?”

I gasp and sit. “How dare you!”

“Easy,” he replies, leaning forward. “Your words are leading me to think that I should’ve been willing to be your backup plan. Is that what our relationship is, Steph? Your backup plan?”

“No! I love you! I’m here because I love you!” Although I am starting to wonder how quickly I could leave.

“Then how about treating me like it!” Ranger stands and paces the room. “Telling me that you wouldn’t dump Morelli because you didn’t know how I felt? How about dumping Morelli because it’s healthy for you, Steph? How about doing it because your relationship was unhealthy?” He stops and faces me. “I’m not your fucking backup plan! I’m not your rebound and I refuse to be your rebound!”

“You weren’t my backup plan! You weren’t even a plan!” I’m sitting on my hands. They’re ready to do some exercise. “You weren’t an option! I wanted a relationship with you and I had no idea how you felt because you’d say one thing and do another!”

He comes closer and squats down in front of me. “You wanted a relationship with me? How about leaving the relationship you’re in! I’m not confessing undying love to you while you’re going back and forth with Morelli. Say I do that and you go back to Morelli. Then what? I put myself on the line and nothing’s changed except now you know I’m waiting like a schmuck. You’ve lost nothing and I lose a lot of self-respect!”

“I would’ve left Joe—”

“Which would make me your rebound, Steph! You’re not coming to me because you love me. You’re coming to me because I’m now a viable option!”

He grabs his water and drains it. I’m just staring at him. “Why are we together right now? Because you finally made a choice but you made it because he forced your hand. He dumped you and yet again I was there for you, but I was your rebound, Steph! I was your choice but I wasn’t. I’m your default, your other option.”

He’s staring at me, his mouth a tight line. “I’m your option. Well, reverse the situation, Steph. How would you like to be my option? How would you like it if I had you and another woman hidden somewhere that you didn’t know about and I was trying to make up my mind?”

“Do you?” I whisper.

“Hell, why not! Let me explore my options for a while. We’ll take these next six weeks and date and I’ll see if I like you better than her. When I come back, I’ll go stay with her and see if I like being with her better. You don’t mind waiting, do you? After all, I waited. You can give me some time and let me see which one of you I like better.”

I’ve slipped off the couch onto the floor, staring at Ranger in horror. Make a joke out of this Ranger, please! For the love of god, make a joke!

His face is cold. He looks as if he’s actually considering it. He glances at me and shakes his head, his face softening.

“Get up, Steph. You’ve been living in my apartment for the past nine months. If there was another woman—”

I’m shaking. I don’t even know why but I am. “I don’t know what you’ve been doing while you were undercover.”

We stare silently at each other. Ranger closes his eyes, as if in pain, and tucks my head between my knees. I concentrate on catching my breath while he strokes the back of my neck. I feel as if Ranger whacked me in the knees with a lead pipe. Ranger grabs his glass and leaves the room. I start bawling. He returns with a pitcher of water, his glass and a box of Kleenex, but he keeps his distance and watches me cry with a hurt look on his face. After a few minutes, he picks me up and places me in his lap on the couch, rubbing my back.

He hands me a glass of water. “Drink, Steph,” he says softly. I stare at the glass and he rubs my back. “Trust me here, Babe.” I start drinking the water and trying to calm down.

“Again, that’s the difference, Babe,” he says quietly. “I don’t have anyone else. You were my choice. I’ve been waiting to be your choice. OK, so my statements are shit. I get that and I’m sorry—”

Sorry? Sorry! You just fucking threatened to leave me! I thought you were in this! “You don’t sound sorry! You don’t sound as if you give a damn, as if you care that you hurt my feelings! You don’t act—” I’m yelling, red in the face and my arms flailing, when he speaks.

“Stop.” That’s ice cold and I freeze. “One, you’re screaming.” I take a deep breath, get up, and walk to the other side of the room, grinding my teeth to avoid saying anything. I pour myself a glass of water and watch Ranger. His blank face is in place.

“You have a blank face.”

It takes a few minutes for him to lift it. Now he just looks angry.

“Two. Don’t tell me how I sound and how I feel. If you think I don’t give a damn, say so, but don’t put words in my mouth.”

“I didn’t!”

“You did.” I start to respond but he says, “You don’t sound sorry! You don’t sound as if you give a damn,” in the same tone of voice I used.

“You don’t.”

“Again, you’re putting words in my mouth. If you think I don’t sound sorry, say that but don’t dare tell me how I feel.”

“That’s semantics, Ranger.”

He snorts. “My partner and my cousin think of themselves as amateur psychologists. Bobby and I have had to learn all the I vs. You rules for fighting.” He clenches his jaw and loosens it. “Right now, I feel as if you aren’t taking my argument seriously. I’ve held back on confessing my feelings for you because I wanted you to choose me. I didn’t want to be your backup. You’re telling me that you feel as if I’m not sorry for my words and I’m telling you that I do get it. I do understand what you’re saying. I’ve known for a long time that I’d have to apologize for those statements and make that up to you, but I had my reasons for saying it that you aren’t acknowledging either.”

I stare at Ranger. “I vs. You rules?”

He snorts. “I rules are me telling you how I feel. I feel as if, I feel that. Those are I rules. You rules are me restating my understanding of what you said. You’re telling me that. I vs. You.”

I sit and think. “Fine. I feel as if you’re dismissing the real pain those statements caused me.” I get a small nod. “I feel as if you don’t understand how much that hurt and how long that’s hurt. I wish you understood how much it hurt to have the person who supported me the most treat me as if my feelings didn’t matter. I wish you’d given me some indication of your feelings before now. You weren’t my rebound, Ranger. You were the man I wanted. I was with Joe because you didn’t want me. You said . . . I felt as if you were constantly telling me you didn’t want me and you’d never want a relationship with me.”

Ranger sighs deeply and sits on the couch. “Fine. I’m sorry about my crap statements, Steph. Your feelings matter to me. They always have and I know that I’ll have to show you how much I care for you, but when was I supposed to get an idea that you wanted a relationship with me? Not only are you not giving me any indication of your feelings, but you didn’t stay single long enough for your bed sheets to smell of you instead of you and Morelli.”

“Sniffing my bed sheets? I thought you just sat in the chair.”

He snorts. “Actually, I watched the levels on your laundry basket.”

“What?”

“If the laundry basket was full of clean clothes, you and Morelli were either on or you’d just broken up. If you had clothes all over the floor, you were off.”

I’m staring, mouth gaping, at him. I have absolutely no response to that (mostly because I think he might be right).

“How was I supposed to know you wanted me, Ranger?” I look up at him, tears dripping. Fuck! I didn’t want to cry. “Every time you said one thing, you came right back and said something that contradicted it. Talking to you about relationships is a recipe for whiplash! Yes, you love me but with a condom and without a ring. You save my life and tell me that I’m a line item in your budget under entertainment.” He cringes. “And on and on. I never knew you wanted me.”

He doesn’t get it! He doesn’t understand that his shit statements kept me from making a move!

Ranger sighs. “You still miss my point, Steph. Your relationship with Morelli was unhealthy.” His lips twist. “When Dickie cheated on you, you divorced his ass. You recognized that once a cheater, always a cheater. It was an unhealthy relationship and you’d never trust him again, so you dumped him. You have someone waiting on standby when you did that?” I shake my head. “But you did it because you had to, because it wasn’t a good relationship, right?”

“Yes.” And I hated Dickie by then. I wanted to screw him over. He fucked Joyce! Joyce! He knew how much I hated her!

“And it didn’t matter what your mother, your family, the Burg, or anyone else thought. You made the decision and you got out. So what stopped you from doing the same thing with Morelli?”

Because … because … first loves are powerful and private and they stay with you for a long time. A lifetime. I love Ranger, have loved him for a long time, but there will always be a tiny, intimate piece of my heart that belongs to Joe. He was my first and I won’t ever forget him. Just as, if something had happened to Ranger, there would always be a part of my soul Joe would never have.

I don’t think Ranger gets that. I really don’t. Has he ever been in love before?

“Because I did love him,” I whisper. “I loved him and I wanted it to work out this time. I didn’t want to give up until I was sure.” I didn’t want to be divorced twice.

Ranger sits back. “What did I have to do with that?”

I’m silent, swallowing hard.

“You loved a man who emotionally battered you. He’s been doing it since you were 17 and you wanted to work it out with him?” He stares at me. “My words were shit before but my actions were all love. I have my moments but I’m hardly Morelli, Babe. I might say shit statements to you, but you have how many over the past four years?”

I think. “Four really bad ones.”

He nods. “And how often did Morelli scream at you? Call you incompetent? Woo you with Bob and a pizza?” I cringe at that one. “So let’s look at this year. This year only Steph, when Morelli isn’t a factor. You tell me I have your heart. It’s over between you and Morelli. Now, honestly, I should’ve stayed undercover to run my op, but I want to and do make time for you.

I show up in Miami and take you to the house no one else knows about. I take you out on the ocean for a day. I show up here because I hear the stress and pressure got to you and I was worried. I take you to Sarasota to celebrate our joint birthdays, give you free rein over my apartments and cars, and I’m there for you when you call. I call you, every night, just to hear your voice and see how you’re doing. Have I said anything in the past year that really and truly hurt you?”

I think. “When you didn’t tell me that Hec was planning to get shot. I really resented that.”

He stares at me. “Why?”

“Because it didn’t matter that it was only a possibility, Ranger! I should have known. You should’ve allowed me to make the decision instead of keeping it from me. That’s like if Lula told me that Tank was planning to make a quick trip to Mexico and I didn’t tell you.”

He raises an eyebrow. “What do you know of Mexico?”

“Clearly not enough, but Lula told me that Mexico is dangerous for them. That’s all.” He nods. “So?”

He sighs. “Yeah, I would be livid.”

“Thank you. That’s how I felt. You knew he was going to be in danger and instead of allowing me to decide what I could handle, you took the decision away from me. That’s how I feel about your four years of shitty statements! You took the choice of being with you away from me—”

“No, I refused to be your backup,” Ranger says calmly. “Leaving Morelli should not, should never have been dependent on me. You needed to leave him because you two had an unhealthy pattern of behavior. If you needed a friend, I would have been there. If you needed a support system, I would have been there with Lula, Connie, and ML. But I’m no one’s backup plan, Steph.”

He wipes my face gently. “If you’d ditched him because you knew the relationship was unhealthy and allowed enough time to pass, Steph, I would have come to you and asked you out. I would’ve taken my time, trying to make sure it was really over between you and Morelli, but you would have been courted the way you deserve to be. You would have had the moments we’ve had together this year, minus the secrecy. We wouldn’t have wasted so much time. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to be his replacement.”

“I didn’t think you were going to be there,” I reply, swallowing hard. So much time wasted . . .

“Steph, if I’d died overseas somewhere, you’d still be in a relationship that wasn’t healthy. You’d still be with a man who wanted you to be his little Burg housewife, in a town that loves to gossip about you, trying to handle a life you would’ve hated. How long were you going to go back and forth? If I died and you were still going back and forth with him, would it still have been my fault that you felt you didn’t have an option?”

I bite my lip thinking. This is the same decision I reached in Tank’s apartment a week ago, but I don’t like how Ranger’s putting it. Again, it’s all my fault! I didn’t leave because it’s all my fault but I didn’t know Ranger wanted a relationship!

“See, this is the part where you and I disagree. What you’re telling me, Babe, is that you wanted a sure thing. You didn’t want to leave Joe until you were sure of my feelings and what I’m telling you is that, in love, nothing is certain.” He lifts his eyes to me. “I’ve been taking a chance for four years, hoping you’d leave him, not because of me, but because you finally realized the relationship wasn’t healthy. Remember me saying you and he had an unhealthy pattern of behavior?” I nod. “That’s what I wanted you to realize. The relationship wasn’t healthy. But I waited, and hoped, and you gave me zero encouragement to do it. You could have married him while I continued to wait. You could have decided that you were willing to put up with that while I waited for you to realize you weren’t going to be happy. But I held on because I hoped that you would someday realize that and leave him. I took a chance and it paid off. You wanted a sure bet and that’s not how life works.”

That’s not true! That’s not . . . it’s not . . . I wanted to know you loved me . . . I . . . I . . . it wasn’t about having a sure bet! Fuck, Ranger! You’re twisting my words! I didn’t leave because if I left Joe and you rejected me, then I took a chance and ended up with nothing! I didn’t want to be rejected by both of the men I loved. You might be able to handle that, but I couldn’t! I can’t! I needed to know you were going to be there! I needed to know you cared!

“I gave you no encouragement to leave him because I shouldn’t be the reason you leave him. You gave me no encouragement to keep hoping but I did anyway. So we both gave each other no hope to be in a relationship but you had to make the first move, Babe. You were the one in a relationship. I was single. You had to leave Joe in order for there to be anything between us. I’m not your reason to. That relationship should have been your reason to leave him.”

“Your words were still crap.” Let’s come back to the original issue. Your words are crap.

He shrugs. “My words were an attempt to keep my heart safe. You talk about whiplash? You could give a man whiplash with your back and forth with Morelli. You think I should have spent the past four years spouting poetry and telling you how much I love you as you and Morelli scream at each other and screw each other’s brains out? You think I should’ve just waited for one of your two week breakups to try to ask you out?

You want to talk about taking someone seriously? How could I take your relationship with him seriously?” He snorts. “Why did I keep pushing? Because I didn’t respect your relationship with him. You gave me just enough encouragement not to.”

Ouch. Power to hurt me, thy name is Carlos. I’m staring at Ranger, mute, and, suddenly, a fragment of a conversation pops into my mind.

Problem is, we can’t blame him. How would Ranger know he has an opening? You and Joe make up and break up every other week and no man wants to be the rebound. We don’t get it. They’ve both been clear about who they are. If you can’t live with either man, dump them both and find a new man.

My stomach drops. Ram said it months ago and, because it hurt, I didn’t really think about what he said. No wonder Mrs. Morelli slammed me the way she did. No wonder everyone in Trenton was betting on my love life.

My love life was a fucking joke!

Ram’s right. I should’ve dumped them both and found someone else instead of waiting for Ranger to show me he wanted a relationship with me or holding on to Joe because I knew he loved me. They’d both been very clear about who they were.

What was I waiting around for? They were waiting for me to change and I was waiting for both of them to change! Everyone was waiting for the impossible!

“Yeah, Babe, that’s what your relationship with him looks like for everyone else,” Ranger says quietly, oblivious to my inner moment of enlightenment. “On, off, in love today, screaming at each other tomorrow, engaged next week, ignoring each other the week after. In the meantime, you and I are in the alley kissing”—my face burns—”because I refuse to get involved more than that. Yes, my words are shit. My actions confuse you, but I could say the same thing for you. Your words?”

He walks over and squats in front of me.

“Non-existent. Your actions? Confusing. You’re willing to save my life, stalk gun runners, help me find my daughter and sleep with me, but not willing to tell me you love me? Not even once? Not willing to protect your own life? Not willing to do anything to make me believe a relationship with you is a possibility? But my words are the only ones on trial here. How about your actions? You want to discuss your whiplash relationship with Morelli?”

“We haven’t exhausted that?” I ask tiredly. Please shut up.

How do I keep coming out on the wrong end in discussions with these guys? Do they give them a course on how to turn an argument around in the Army? Ram, Ranger, Tank, Les, Bobby, hell, even Pat! I keep getting my ass handed to me! I had a real argument, an actual grievance, and Ranger turned it into ‘Your words and actions are shit, so quit yelling at me’!

“I think we have. So, you say everything to me about my shit words before this year that you needed to say?”

I’m thinking. Yes and no. My anger is mostly gone. I’m just frustrated again. Until I come up with a counter to his argument, I won’t win, and I don’t have one. I can’t argue a single fucking point that he made.

I nod. Ranger pulls me into his lap.

“I’m sorry. My words didn’t match my feelings because I wanted you to choose me, Steph. I wanted you to make the decision to walk away from him.” He sighs. “For me, it was just like the tracking chip.”

“The tracking chip?” I pull away and look at him. “How?”

He takes a deep breath. “I told you that the tracking chip was your choice. I wasn’t going to talk you into it because the first moment you got angry with me, it would be all my fault. Remember?” I nod. “This is the same to me. I wasn’t going to encourage you to leave Morelli. I wanted you to divorce yourself from him, leave him because it was unhealthy for you to be in that relationship. Not because of me.

Do I think I could have done it?” He smiles. “Oh yeah. I could’ve kept you chained to my bed until you gave in.” He lifts his hips quickly and I bounce on his lap. We both laugh. “But I didn’t want you in my life that way because when the sex haze wore off, you’d start looking at what you got in the deal and you wouldn’t want it. I wanted you to come to me eyes wide open. You did and you’ve lived my life for a while. You see what my life is like and you’re still here telling me you want me so I’m here and I’m telling you that you have my heart.”

“Ranger . . .” Finally! Something! A clear win. He loves me. I have his heart … well, I feel a little better.

“Stephanie.” He looks disgruntled and it’s so cute I laugh.

“Carlos.”

“Right. Carlos,” he whispers, kissing me. “We can talk through all the rules and restrictions you want. We’ll make this a healthy relationship for both of us, where neither of us feels stifled. We’ll take the great sex and solid friendship we already have and make a life together, but what I won’t do is tell you what to do. I won’t manipulate you. I won’t try to control you because I won’t allow you to manipulate, control or order me around.” I nod in agreement. “If you agree, let’s keep putting the rules of this relationship in place.”

I kiss Carlos softly and smile. “I agree. I’m in.”

“Good. Now I have some things I want to say.”

—oOo—

Ranger‘s POV

She automatically stiffened. “What?”

“You need my actions to match my words, right?” She nods. “I need two things from you.”

“What?”

“I need words, Steph.” I have a half smile on my face and she blushes. “I mean that, Babe,” I whisper. “You don’t tell me anything about how you feel unless we’re in bed. That’s the only time I get a hint of your feelings. I’ve been telling you I love you for four years. I’ve been hearing it from you for 2½ months—”

“It’s been longer than that!”

I shake my head. “No. You told me you loved me on Labor Day.”

“You remember?” She looks astonished.

[I‘ll never forget. I’ve never known my dick to put in for combat pay, Ric. You rubbed him raw.

Shut up!

It was a little embarrassing, Soldier. You abused our favorite soldier like a twelve year old with his first skin mag.]

“It was the first time you’d ever said it. You were in Boston. You caught a skip on Friday and I had to warn you to keep the guard with you on Monday.”

She slides off my lap back to the couch. “I can’t believe you remember that.”

I shrug. It was a hell of a day. It was the day I realized Juana Baez had solved the puzzle but couldn’t prove it. “Words.”

She blushes. “Right. Words.”

“Soft words. Sweet words. I love you. I miss you. Come home, Ranger. I need a spanking, Carlos.” She laughs at the last one and I grin. Good job, Mañoso. Follow me and we’ll have a satisfying relationship with this woman yet! “I’ll give you words but I want them back.”

“Got it.” She kisses my jaw and I feel her hand slide across my chest.

“Lower.”

[Please. Can we do a quick panty check here?

Oh for God’s sake. Keep your eyes on the prize!

They are on the prize. I just want to know if the prize is indeed there.

Well, unless she’s had some unannounced surgery, it’s there. Get a grip.

Still, it’s not a bad idea to confirm intelligence whenever we can.

Oh yeah, now that the hard work is nearly done, you animals want to take over? Sit back and continue to keep it shut.]

She laughs. “No. OK, what else?”

I sighs. “Not to beat a dead horse here—”

She groans. “I take my life seriously, Ranger.”

“I need to know that, Steph.” I drop any hint of amusement and cup her face in my hands. “You talk about my words? Let’s talk about your actions. That’s the level it’s on for me.” She swallows hard. “Yeah. Exactly. I need to know that you’re taking your safety seriously. I need to know that you have a loaded gun and that it’s not in the cookie jar. I need to know you’re not afraid to use it. I need to know that you’re prepared to run or swim or get the hell away from danger but, more importantly, Steph, I need to know you’ll quit going it alone.”

“I’m not used to being followed all the time, Ranger,” she says, crossing her arms.

“I know that, but when there’s a true threat, Steph, you need to be on your guard. You really need to be on your guard all the time. You’re a target on your own, but when you add my enemies and Hector’s”—my soul shivers—”you’re incredibly vulnerable.”

“Ranger—”

“I need to know that I’ll never get the call that when I come home, you’re in the long-term care ward of the hospital in a coma.” Steph’s mouth shuts on a snap. “I need to know that I won’t come home to a tombstone. I need to know that you’ll still be alive, kicking ass and taking names, when I come home.”

“I want the same thing, Ranger.”

“Then take it seriously. I take my life very seriously but I’ve never ever felt that you did.”

She winces. “Would you have demanded I get training if the guys hadn’t tricked me into it?”

[Here’s a no-win question, Soldier.

No, it’s fine. She already knows the answer. She just needs to hear us say it.]

“Yes.”

Her shoulders droop. “I thought so,” she mutters.

“Right. You need words from me? I need to know you’re trained and prepared for danger. My life is dangerous. Your life is dangerous. I need to know you aren’t running around without protection.”

“I get it.”

We’ll see. “Good. Hector is at stake now and he’s not going to allow your decisions to affect his life. You keep running around like you did the day you went to the mall and you’ll find yourself alone because Hec will abandon you. Mijo means more to him than you ever will.” She swallows hard. “And I’m not explaining to Nikki or Mijo what happened if something happens. You will. You‘ll stand in front of Mijo and explain why his tío will never come see him again.”

“Right,” she whispers, tears welling in her eyes. I hand her a Kleenex and another glass of water, which she quickly drains.

“I already said that I’m not giving you ultimatums and I won’t. I’m just going to tell you what I expect. I don’t expect to hear that you’re kissing Morelli in an alleyway. Actually, I don’t expect to hear you’re kissing Morelli. Full stop.” I stare at her. She’s looking at me in shock.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Fine,” she mutters.

[Oh god, is that really a sacrifice for her? Not kissing her ex?

(sigh) It’s the fact you feel the need to actually say it, idiot. This is why I asked that you shut up.]

“Thank you. Also, I expect you to come home in the panties you left in.”

“Shut up.”

“I mean that. What Morelli ignored I won’t. He might not have given a damn, but I guarantee you I will.”

[Agreed.

Agreed.

How are you two getting loose? This is where that entertainment comment came from, FYI! Be less ‘helpful’, OK?

(Both personalities shut their mouths)]

I see the beginnings of rhino mode. “Going caveman now?”

Nope. “Simple respect, Steph. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t be cool with me doing.”

[Make that clear, Soldier. The Cop won’t live long if he puts his hands on her. If he wants to be a floater, he‘ll put his hands where they no longer belong. His mother can fish him out of the river.

Oh yeah. Let’s scare the shit out of her again. Jesus, Ranger, she nearly fainted over the idea that we might have another woman in the wings. Let’s not push it. Ric?

I really don’t give a damn as long as she gets naked and wet soon. All this talk about feelings is making me feel as if I’m getting a pink stripe on my man card.

Animal. And idiot.

I agree with Ric.

I rest my case.]

“Trenton gossips about you enough. The moment the Burg finds out we’re together, they’ll gossip about both of us and I’m not listening to stories that make me look bad and make you look like a ‘ho.”

[Good job, Soldier.

You’re welcome. This is how you do it. Don’t make it about her. Don’t attack her. Just hint at the consequences.

Good job. I have guns and a righteous streak. The Burg wouldn’t win.

Damn right.

Is it disturbing that we all agree here?]

“Just the ones that make me look bad when I’m dating Joe,” she mutters.

Joe didn‘t give a damn about his rep. We do.

“Like I said, the understandings you and Morelli had are between you. That wasn’t any of my business. But I will tell you this.” I turn her chin and wait for her to look at me. “I have a jealous streak. I already told you I’m not giving you ultimatums. What I am giving you is fidelity, trust, and love. That’s what I want. If you can’t handle that, now’s the time to tell me.”

[I can’t believe you had the balls to say that, Carlos.

Yeah, well, I watched the Morelli drama. I learned lessons. No infidelity. Ever. No running back and forth between us and anyone else. There are no second chances for that. I might be the emotionally healthy one of the three of us, but I’m no fool. I don’t want to get hurt either. Not when I finally get to come out and play more often. We’re setting ground rules? OK, my ground rules involve a little more than ‘no yelling’ because if she walks, we’re moving to Miami permanently.

That serious?

She won’t get a second chance.

Why?

Because if I, we, give her a second chance, she’ll want a third, then a fourth then we’ll be The Cop. No. No way. I can’t take it. I won’t take it. I get hurt and I’m done. I’m not repeating history.

So we’re going to move to Miami and lick our wounds?

We’re going to move to Miami and find a woman who won’t play with our emotions. I’m a man, not a dog. I’m not going to be yanked all over the place.

Sounding bitter, Carlos.

Nope. I learned from The Cop’s sad example. I don’t want that to happen to us. Point blank.

Carlos, I’m starting to respect you.]

I’m waiting to see if she’s gonna walk now. She’s still quiet, staring at me, and I relax. She’s in.

“We’re agreed?”

“Agreed.”

I nod. “I told the guys so I’m telling you now. I’m not taking any more long term contracts.”

Her mouth drops. “What?”

“Nothing over six months. Preferably nothing over three. This relationship needs time and attention, so I’m benching myself.” She grins and straddles my lap. I’m kissed until she loses her breath and I’m grateful I made this decision. This relationship is important to me. Time to put her and it first.

“Glad to see you’re happy.”

“Yeah, I am,” she says softly.

“Great. I also need to put some time and energy in the company. You’ve done a great job and I need to make your job easier.”

She’s silent. “I … I … I was only going to ask for that if we ever decided to have kids.”

[Kids?

Kids?

Hey Carlos, put the kids off for a while. Let’s get laid before we starting trying to plant flags, huh?

Agreed. Progeny means no more missions ever. I’m not old and infirm yet.

A few months ago, you wanted her pregnant as a sign of ownership.

Well, no, I wanted her pregnant because she’s mine and I love her and I was on a post-orgasm high. Don’t take the shit I think in the first 15 minutes after I cum seriously. Hell, don’t take anything I think once she’s naked seriously. Besides, that’s when I thought Morelli might still be a problem. He’s not, so we can wait.]

“Well, I’m prepared to make the change. In any case, I’m not going to dictate your security to you. Tank’s making everyone back off?” She nods. “So we’re doing our part. No one is going to ride your ass about it, but that means you have to make sure we don’t end up looking stupid for that decision, Steph.

You’re trained and you say you can handle yourself. Fine, but I need to know you care and that you’re being careful. You’re the only bounty hunter in the country who has been injured more than five times in the line of duty.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

She looks pensive, biting her lip and frowning.

“Tank had a financial workup done.” She looks up. “In order to lower the cost of health and auto insurance in the company, you need to go a few years without a single incident.”

Her jaw drops. “What?!”

I nod. “He and Candy have been working to get lower insurance, but you alone kick the premiums into the stratosphere.” She blushes deep red, embarrassed. “Tank intends to talk to you about it at some point, but the point is—”

“Why didn’t he do it in Texas?” she demands.

“After the talk you two had the day you arrived?” I raise a brow and she blushes. “Then things went from bad to worse over the course of the trip. When would you have been able to read and listen to that report and not get defensive?”

“Shut up, Ranger,” she mutters.

I hide a smile. “Right. Anyway, Tank has your assurance that you’ll take your safety more seriously and he’s grateful. Tank’s a tightwad and those insurance numbers are giving him small heart attacks.” I feel her chuckle. “So aside from the fact that the guys care about your life, there’s the simple fact that it would help financially if you didn’t have any more incidents.”

“Right.”

I lean my head back against the couch cushions. I feel ’emotionally drained’ and it’s barely noon. I hope we’ve talked about our feelings enough.

[Shut up, Carlos.

Agreed.

Yeah, I’m tired. I think we got everything we wanted and needed here.]

“Babe?”

“Yeah?”

“Lunch time. Anything you want in particular?”

She sighs and sits up. “No. Let’s go look.”

“Wait.” She looks over at me. “Are we done for the morning?”

“Carlos, we’re done for the day.”

Gracias a Dios!

—oOo—

Lunch is quiet. I make two turkey sandwiches and have raw vegetables while Steph finds chips in the cabinets. Afterwards, she cleans up while I head back upstairs and lie on the bed.

I honestly feel a hell of a lot better. I got to say a lot of things I’ve always wanted to say but, as usual, I’m slightly pissed off.

‘I went back to him because you weren‘t an option!’

[I honestly don’t know if she could have insulted us more than when she said that. Option?

Yeah, that was fucked up. Yikes.

Glad you see that, Soldier.

That’s fucking insane! You need to know you have another man lined up before you leave one relationship? Really? So I guess we’ll know it’s over when she finds another superhero to rescue her when I’m not around.

Ouch! Ric, what the hell is wrong with you?

Ungentlemanly behavior, Ric.

No it’s not! Wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with her? Really? Fuck! I’m trying to get over that, but that’s just fucked up. So, it’s all our fault she was with Morelli? Really? Has she ever heard of the term ‘breakup’? No, I take that back. She knows the term. She doesn’t know the term ‘permanent breakup’! Does she know how to be alone? We’ve been alone for a long time. We don’t just hop from relationship to relationship!

No, we hop from mistress to mistress.

Not helpful, Carlos!

I agree with Ranger. Shut up, Carlos. Keep your mind (what’s left of it) on the statement. Who did she date between Dickie and Morelli? The research said no one but that statement makes me wonder. I mean, honestly! Even hopping from mistress to mistress, we didn’t have a new mistress lined up the moment we discarded the old one. We took our time, found a new woman we liked and could spend time with. We actually put some time and effort into sexual partner acquisition. Shit!

Point.

And the most maddening fucking part of this?

I’ll take a guess.

What?

We owe Morelli a ‘Thank you’ for dumping her. Otherwise, she’d never have done it. She’d still be with him waiting on us to say something.

Fuck. We owe Morelli?

Yes. I’m gagging over the thought, Soldier.

So am I. Glad to see you’ve caught on, Carlos. We actually owe Morelli one.

We set him up with Sharon. He’s clearly fallen for her.

Then we’ve done our good deed. Thank God. I’d choke on the ‘thank you’.]

I’m now insanely grateful for the op. Joe dumping her and me not being available to be in a relationship with her means that she was alone, on some level, for nine months. That’s probably been the longest stretch of time in years. I popped up, took her out on occasion, and disappeared again while my men kept any other men away.

Yeah, this worked out for the best. Not only did she get the training and was forced to live my lifestyle for a while, but my men surrounding her meant her opportunities to meet other men and fall right into another relationship were squelched. She’s been prevented from going from one relationship right into another. I haven’t forgotten her mother’s attempts to set her up with Dave Brewer and, had he not been a serial killer, she would’ve gone straight from Morelli to him.

Fuck. Les needs to be let loose to do his thing for a while. I grab my laptop and start looking for a Lamborghini. He’s earned it.

[Agreed.

Agreed. But honestly, make that a birthday present. Les will kill himself in a Lamborghini right now. 125 in the Aston Martin?

Good point.]

—oOo—

Steph‘s POV

“Let me explore my options for a while. We‘ll take these next six weeks and date and I’ll see if I like you better than her. When I come back, I’ll go stay with her and see if I like being with her better. You don’t mind waiting, do you? After all, I waited. You can give me some time and let me see which one of you I like better.”

Does he have someone else? I’ve rubbed and rubbed this plate trying not to consider it. He was up and down the east coast for months. He was barely calling me at first. Actually, he didn’t call me for five months.

Could he have met up with her, whoever she is? Who is she? What does she look like? What—

“The plate is clean, Babe.”

I whirl around. Ranger’s cat-like reflexes pluck the plate out of the air and put in back in the sink as if it’s a Frisbee.

“I know. Just trying to make sure.”

He snorts. “I can almost smell the smoke. What are you overthinking?”

“Who your other woman is.” Smooth, Plum. “I mean—”

“Steph.” I’m looking at Amused Ranger now. “Give it a rest. There is no other woman.”

“Fine,” I mutter. “But that wasn’t funny either.”

He sighs. “Is that going on the list of asshole comments?” I nods. “I’ll own that one.”

“Meaning?”

“I’m not apologizing for it.”

I stare at him. He shrugs. “You need options to leave a relationship.” My cheeks burn. “Yeah. I think we’ll call a draw on that and term those the ‘What the Fuck!?’ comments of the discussion.”

“Yeah, yours definitely qualifies.”

“So does yours, Babe.”

—oOo—

Ranger and I finish the ground rules for fights. It’s a sensible list and, except for immediately breaking two, we managed to have a fight, argument, while keeping the rules intact. We climb in bed that night and I curl up under Ranger.

“Carlos?”

“Hmm?”

“I need a spanking.”

There’s a moment of silence before my mouth is invaded. “Now?”

“Nah. I just wanted to see how you’d respond.” He shifts. “Nice response.”

“Thanks.” He leaves the bed, strips, and walks out. I sit up and wait. Twenty minutes later I find him in the downstairs bedroom, fast asleep.

“Carlos?”

“Hmm?”

“What the hell?”

He rolls over and stretches. “I figure, why should you be the only tease?”

I look at Naked Carlos, who is rapidly becoming Naked and Aroused Carlos. “Goodnight.”

I turn to leave. I’m yanked back onto the bed, wrestled onto my stomach, handcuffed (where did those come from?) and my legs spread wide.

Is this gonna be butt stuff? Or BDSM? I’m not ready!

“Carlos?”

“Count with me. One . . .”

Smack!