Chapter 119: Star Signs
Ranger’s POV—Sunday Night
“Where are we going, Carlos?”
I smile and hold her hand. “Come on. You’ll see.”
We keep going until we reach the top of the hill. “We’re here.”
“Where’s here?”
“The top of the hill.” It’s pitch black around us. Perfect. I take the basket from her hands and drop to the ground.
Steph rolls her eyes. I can’t see it but I can feel it. “Got that, Carlos. Why are we here?”
“To stargaze.”
She looks over at me and her mouth drops. “Stargaze?”
“Bad idea?”
“It’s freezing! It’s the middle of the night, we hiked fifteen minutes to get here, it’s … it’s …” She beams. “Wonderful, Carlos! So romantic!”
I sigh in relief. I had this idea at the last minute. The local science center has a powerful telescope that they open to the public every Friday night, and I wanted to take Steph but I can’t be seen with her in public. This was my best compromise.
“We have soup and sandwiches in the basket, fruit, cake, and wine.” Steph smiles. “I’m going to set up this telescope. You want to dig in?”
“Sure.” She dives in and cuts a slice of cake then opens the wine and pours two glasses. I’m still trying to get the telescope set up.
“Warm, Babe?”
“I’m OK.”
I glance over. She’s sipping the wine. “There’s hot soup in the Thermoses.”
“I’ll wait for you.”
I smile and turn my attention back to the telescope, trying to read the instructions on how to set it up with the flashlight on my phone. “I did some research. There should be a few stars in the sky tonight—” Steph starts laughing. “What?”
“I’m reading Libra and Leo in love.”
“Horoscopes?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I was trying to find a star guide and this was the first thing to come up on the Google search.”
Oh. “OK. Libra and Leo in love?” I raise a brow.
“Yup. Listen to this:
When Leo and Libra join together in a love match, theirs is an agreeable union. Being situated two signs apart in the Zodiac, Leo and Libra experience a deep understanding of the inner-workings of the other. When the Lion’s unbounded energy mixes with Libra’s natural sense of harmony, this is a romance of great balance. Leo and Libra are both outlandish versus reserved, direct versus peace loving. They can enjoy a very smooth relationship because each can appreciate and benefit from the positive attributes of the other.
Libra calms and soothes Leo’s flamboyance. As a couple, Leo and Libra are well balanced. Libra lays on the charm and good manners, which tame Leo’s direct and acerbic personality. But Leo is far more decisive than Libra. Leo can help their partners to make decisions more easily and act on them, and they can teach the art of spontaneity.”
I raise a brow. “I was described as outlandish and flamboyant.”
“The all black uniform? The never ending supply of Porsches?”
My mouth snaps shut. I have to lend some credence to the description of Libra in that piece. “What else does it say?”
Steph keeps reading. “I think this woman met us.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” She reads, “These two elements combined either fuel one another seamlessly or diminish one another’s efforts. Libra can negotiate with the impetus and vigor of Leo, and both partners tend to take part in one another’s projects. They have established a perfect balance and tick clockwork! When they are joined, anything is possible, but this couple must be mindful of one another’s feelings and desires. Leo’s action-oriented approach may conflict with Libra’s more passive, come-what-may outlook. Both Signs have a variety of interests, and Leo’s need to get involved gives them great stories to share with the more reserved Libra.”
She looks at me. I nod for her to keep going. This is fascinating.
“Leo is a Fixed Sign and Libra is a Cardinal Sign. Leo’s endurance outpaces the fleeting whims of Libra, the initiator. They have to work together to make their dreams come true. Leo will be the leader because of their strength and forceful nature. Libra will quietly take the reins from an intellectual and team-oriented perspective. Leo likes to give orders through personal authority while Libra charms others into doing things and is happy placating Leo’s giant ego. It’s important for Leo to understand sacrifice. Libra, able to see both sides of the argument, can compromise easily, while Leo may be more put out over having to yield.”
I think I’d like to call bullshit on those last few sentences. Giant ego? I keep a tight rein on the ego. Besides, I’m doing plenty of yielding here and the word ‘sacrifice’ and I are old friends. Otherwise? Me and Steph, at work and at play. I like this assessment and it’s scary to me how it mimics exactly how I just decided to redefine my role in RangeMan.
“What’s the best aspect of the Leo-Libra relationship? It’s the harmony resulting from the union of Venus and The Sun. The balance between self and other represented by this relationship is a great learning experience for both partners. Each partner makes up for what the other is missing, so theirs is a highly compatible relationship.”
We’re both silent. I don’t know about Steph, but that sounds like exactly what I want. That’s us, in a nutshell. I finish setting up the telescope and look over. She’s still reading.
“Read to me?”
“This is about Libra,” she says quietly. I shrug and she reads,
“Every adolescent Libran’s fantasy is to find the Prince or Princess of their dreams. As their lives unfold, the experiences, false starts, dramas, broken hearts and disillusionment they encounter seeking this personal Holy Grail often shapes their futures in the most extraordinary manner. Love and love-lost makes a big difference to the Libran, although their often happy-go-lucky appearance against all kinds of odds may not reveal this as fact.”
She’s quiet for a few minutes. Dickie? Joe? Me? It’s clear this assessment of her sign is affecting her deeply.
“Is that all of it?”
“No.” She takes a deep breath.
“When it comes to romance and love, Librans can be difficult to fathom yet in business many Librans discover they can not only be creative, but it provides an opportunity to express the more diverse sides to their personalities. Their charm can win jobs and provides powerful friends. But in both work and play, looking for peace and harmony, Librans often say “yes” when they should be saying “no”.”
“Ruled by Venus, right?”
“Right,” she says quietly.
I walk over and kiss her. “You’re ruled by your heart. That’s what Venus stood for in ancient times. She was the goddess of love.”
“What about Leo?”
“The Lion. Also ruled by our hearts.”
“You’re the Sun sign.”
“I know a little about my sign. Look it up, Babe.” She does. “Well?”
“You’re right.” She rolls her eyes at me. I kiss her and start digging through the basket.
“What about everyone else?”
She looks up. “What is Les?”
“Gemini. June birthday.” She reads and starts laughing. Good. “Accurate?”
“About 95%. Bobby?”
I think for a moment. “I think he’s Aquarius. January.”
A few minutes later, I hear, “Geez, got that one right. Tank?”
“Cancer. July.”
A few minutes later: “This is scary.”
“Accurate?”
“Yes.” She hums. “Hector is a Virgo. September.” She reads and laughs. “Again, accurate. So there are two air signs, one water sign, one fire sign, and one Earth sign in your brotherhood.” She stops and thinks. “There’s a birthday every month from June to October. Bobby’s the only one separate from the rest of us.”
I smirk. “Summer and fall babies? Now you know how your parents stayed warm during the fall and winter months.”
“Ewww, Carlos!”
I laugh. My father was open about the fact that the news of my conception was his Christmas present. They intended to stop after Sophia.
“Julie?”
“End of the summer hurrah. She’s an Aries.”
“Ahhh.” She searches on her iPad and reads the description.
“Accurate?”
“You’ll need to read it, but it does sound like Julie. Sounds like a chip off the old block.”
I take the iPad and read the description. Yeah, it’s me, only more stubborn and Julie’s getting into that age. My daughter. In the debate over nature versus nurture, I think Julie is proof that no one should count Nature out.
I hand the iPad back and think for a moment. “Les and Bobby are the air signs?”
“What gave it away?” She stares at me. “No seriously! I hear Aquarius and think water!”
I shrug. “Guessed. What are you?”
She checks. “Air,” she says, surprised.
“So you, Les and Bobby have all the air signs covered?”
“Yeah,” she says thoughtfully. “Libra, Gemini, Aquarius. All air.”
If I really believed in this stuff, I’d say that’s why the three of them are clashing right now. “Give me the lowdown on Air signs.”
It takes a few minutes before she begins reading.
“Airy people are smart thinkers and handle abstract reasoning well. They love to analyze, synthesize and probe. Do you have a dilemma? Hand it over to an Air sign and watch them go to work. Air Signs are also about communication. These individuals want to get the word out, and it’s not likely to be fluff. They are alert, curious and perceptive. The world as seen by an Air sign will be an interesting one, as their analysis and subsequent explanation (hopefully in terms we can understand) will indicate. Those influenced by Air are inventive and clever. They see all sides of the equation and are able to glean the best approach. Balance is important to these airy folk.”
Right on the money for all three of them! Shit, that’s scary!
“So, are Air signers fresh as a summer breeze, or are they howling like the wind? Probably both, depending on when you catch them. While these folks are often calm and collected, they can turn cold if their equilibrium is upset. A word to the wise: There’s little upside in baiting an Air sign.”
So far, so good.
“Another plus with Air is that it manifests itself in a most humane way. Those influenced by Air can truly wear another’s shoes, as it were. They are objective, cooperative and really want to help make a better world. There’s no prejudice with these folks – just a bright and shiny idealism that can accomplish much. Air Signs are communicative, intellectual, clever and fair. They can blow hot and cold, though, so beware of a chilly draft!”
She looks up at me. “Does that sound like all of us?”
“Yes.” No hesitation.
I pour some soup into the Thermos lids. Steph’s still thinking. “Do you think the reason they hit me so hard in San Antonio is because we’re all so alike?”
I consider my answer carefully. “First, I don’t necessarily believe in astrology. It’s interesting but it’s as imprecise as anything can be.” Steph nods. “That said, I would say yes, all three of you are very alike. When I first met you, I thought Les would love her!“
Steph smiles, but I can see she’s biting her lip some. I really hope they patch their friendship up. I can’t stand to see them at odds. They’re too much alike.
“That bit on Air signs really covered the similarities between all of you. I’ve never seen the similarities between you and Bobby but, after listening to that, they’re popping out in my mind.”
“Mine too,” she says quietly.
I nod. “Now, taking astrology away from this discussion, I would say that Les and Bobby hit you hard for a few reasons.” I stare at her. She’s waiting. “One, they’re big believers in personal responsibility. Bobby hates when people make excuses. It’s his number one pet peeve.”
“No wonder he and I have always had a tense relationship,” she mutters.
I take a deep breath. “Yes. It‘s not my fault would set him off quick.”
“Right.”
“Les? Les has always believed in obtaining the goal without casualty. He likes for the person he’s after to be the only person affected in his plans. Your ‘collateral damage issues'”—she winces—”frustrate him.”
“Which is why they can both recite all my worst skips and what happened after I failed to catch them the first time.”
“Yes.” I hand her the bowl of soup and a spoon. “Now, do you really want to talk about Les and Bobby tonight? Or do you want to star gaze with me?”
She smiles. “So, do you know what’s what, Batman?”
“No fucking clue, Babe.”
—oOo—
Steph‘s POV
He meant it. He has no idea what we’re looking at and neither of us care.
“Carlos! There’s no constellation called Voldemort!”
He grins. “Why not? Looks like the Dark Mark to me!”
I haven’t stopped laughing since we got started. I downloaded an app on my phone to tell us what we’re looking at and Ranger’s done the same on my iPad, but it’s useless. After an hour, we didn’t care anymore anyway. Ranger packed the telescope away and we’re just lying back on the blanket now, staring at the sky.
We had tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. I’m feeding Ranger the chocolate-covered strawberries as he tries to convince me that the Cyclops constellation really exists. He pulls a second blanket out of the basket and wraps me in it.
“I’m looking it up, Carlos! That does not exist!”
He grins. “I have a teenage daughter who is obsessed with Percy Jackson and Harry Potter. I should be grateful she’s only interested in book boyfriends, but her obsession means I’ve had to dig into Greek and Roman mythology again.”
I laugh. This has been a great night. Ranger pours the rest of the wine into my glass and smiles. “Happy, Babe?”
I sigh. “This was a great idea, Carlos.” I grin. I’ve been calling him Carlos all night. I don’t know if anyone is looking for ‘Ranger’, but if they are, I’m not out with him tonight! I got Carlos!
I kiss Ranger and he licks my lips. “The wine tastes better from your lips.”
“Liar.” I’m unbuttoning his pants. He shifts slightly and smiles.
“Not a lie. Much better. Crisp.” Kiss. “Sweet.” Kiss. “Luscious—”
“Unzip my pants.”
“Why?”
“Because—” The breeze hits my ass and I shiver. “How did you do that?” My pants are halfway down my legs and Ranger’s caressing my ass.
I get the wolf grin and my fleece jacket is unbuttoned. “Work your pants off one leg.”
“Not both?”
“No. Just one.”
I tug my jeans down and stop to remove one boot. Meanwhile, Ranger only has to remove his sweater, unbutton his shirt, and lower his pants.
“Something about this is unfair. My clothes are more complicated.”
He strokes himself and gives me the wolf grin. I work faster to remove my boot but I can’t get it off. The zipper is tangled in my jeans somehow. “Fuck!”
“I’d like to. What’s the hold up?”
“My jeans.”
“I should have suggested a skirt for this trip.”
I finally get the boot untangled from my jeans and kick my foot to get the boot off. It’s goes flying and I hear a thud.
“Umm …”
“I’ll go get it, Babe. Just”—Ranger’s laughing—”see if you can get the rest of your clothes situated.”
He stands up, zips his jeans back up, and goes off after my boot.
I stand and strip. I’m not bothering with this complicated clothing situation. Who has sex with clothes on anyway? Ranger returns to the sight of me, completely naked, on our blanket. “Babe …” He sounds awed and I arch my back more.
“Like?”
“Love,” he says simply. I tug him closer for a kiss. He’s redressed and his soft wool sweater is rubbing against my nipples, heating them. I slide my hands underneath his sweater and shiver at the cold wind that hits us.
“You’re going to catch a cold,” Ranger mutters, caressing my ass as he kisses my jaw.
“No I won’t,” I whisper. “One thing I count on is your ability to keep me hot.”
I get the wolf grin as Ranger slowly lowers me to the blanket. He slips down my body and parts my legs wide, his tongue parting my lips gently. “No screaming.”
“No promises—” My breath catches. I part my legs wider and run my fingers through his hair as his tongue gently swirls, then dips inside. His nose bumps against my clit and I close my eyes and give myself over to the sensation. My back arches and Ranger slips his hands beneath my bottom and lifts me slightly.
“Famous last words.”
I look down, past my protruding nipples and sweat soaked skin to the gorgeous man lying on his belly between my legs. Ranger’s eyes are closed, his face in deep concentration as he uses his tongue and fingers to bring me to the edge of orgasm time and time again without allowing me to have it. It’s as if he’s forgotten the location of that tiny bundle of nerves that makes everything better. My entire body is tense, muscles straining, ready to finally go over and he’s teasing me.
“Stop!” I’m gripping his hair, angry, hurt, frustrated, desperate for release. “Stop! Don’t … don’t do this …” I struggle to sit up and he lifts his face to look at me, my juices dripping from his lips, the flash of perfect white teeth mocking me as his tongue refuses to give me what I want most.
“Trust me?”
I sob, miserable. “Yes! But—”
“Trust me.”
I flop back and whimper. “I want to come now, Carlos. Please … please …”
“Now?”
“Yes!”
His body lifts and the wind hits my clit.
The smile on his face is the last thing I see as I tumble over the edge. He moves back and turns me slightly and the wind hits my overheated pussy in full-force. It’s probably just a gentle breeze, but it might as well be a typhoon for the effect it has.
I’m getting off on the wind. On air. My body is shaking, convulsing, straining for the next breeze, the next cooling wind, when Ranger covers me again and guides my hand to his cock.
“Take me,” he whispers.
I don’t waste a moment. I line him up, hike my leg up high on his back, arch my back, and use my leg and foot to force him to enter me fast and hard.
“Fuck me,” I grind out. “Fuck me until I can’t remember my name.”
“As you wish.”
—oOo—
I collapse back on his chest and sigh. “Batman?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m fucking freezing.”
I move my sweaty bangs off my face and wonder where my hair tie is. I ripped it out after the second orgasm, when I decided I wanted to ride Ranger like Zorro. My knees hurt and I’m sweaty, but I finally got my orgasm.
All three of them.
Ranger’s cock is amazing but the prize tonight goes to his tongue. The flat of his tongue on my body made me shiver in a good way all night. The tip flicking over my body like a cobra, teasing and tickling, kept me off-balance and excited. Combined with his hands going up and down my spine, I earned the third orgasm.
His laugh rumbles in his chest. “I offered to be on top. You said no. I’m warm, you’re not.” He’s doing something with his legs, kicking, and I feel the blanket brush against my back. He reaches for it and pulls it up around us.
“I change my mind.” His cock finally slips from my body and lies limp and soft between us. I roll the condom down, which seems to take forever. “How big is your dick?” I ask, stroking gently. As usual, I get an almost immediate response.
“Not satisfied?” He stretches and raises a brow.
I snort. “Fishing for compliments?” He can’t be insecure, can he?
“No.”
I look up. There’s a slight smile on his face which is rapidly disappearing. “Carlos, you are the best lover I’ve ever had and you are the best man I know. Patient, confident, unselfish. Everything about you excites me.” I pepper his chest with kisses before finally resting my face on top of his chest lightly. “You get out the shower and bounce your abs and I consider skipping Thanksgiving dinner.” I hear the rumble of laughter in his chest. “You laugh and I want to hear it over and over again. I’m out in the freezing cold, in pitch black darkness, because you said you would be with me and I’d follow you anywhere. If you don’t know that by now, I’ll have to remind you. Every day. For the rest of our lives.”
I didn’t realize there was a 1,000,000W smile but that’s what I’m blasted with. It transforms Ranger’s face and feels like a ray of pure love and happiness. I vow to say whatever I have to say to put that smile on his face more often.
“Thanks, Babe.”
“You’re welcome.” I press my lips to his chest. “I’ll say it more often.”
“I’ll never get tired of hearing it.”
“Round four?”
“In a bed. My ass hurts.” I look up; he’s smiling. “You like sex outdoors, huh?”
“It wasn’t bad.”
He chuckles. “Babe, my ass hurt for days after you left Miami the first time. Next to the pool, on the boat”—I blush—”You airy folk like to fuck out of doors.”
I bury my face between his chest and his arm. “I never hear you complain.”
“And I never will. Let me know when you wanna strip down, Babe. As long as no one’s looking, I’ll take care of every need.”
“If someone were looking?”
“I’m fine. Are you into exhibitionism?”
“No.”
“Thought not.”
He rolls over and covers me. I’m slowly warming up but “You know, my car has heated seats.”
“Had enough of the great outdoors?”
“I’m sure I have a pine needle sticking in my butt—”
The crack of a pine branch silences both of us.
—oOo—
Ranger‘s POV
I reach for my guns immediately as Steph starts moving beneath me. I start to look down, to tell her to be quiet, when I realize she’s reaching for her jeans. I pass them to her and continue to wait.
“Hello? Is someone out there?”
Male voice. Middle aged. My worst nightmare is that this is a cop or park ranger. We could be arrested and that would be a disaster.
Shit! This park was not supposed to be monitored!
Steph’s getting redressed at warp speed but she still won’t be fast enough to get dressed before we’re discovered. Doesn’t matter. She wiggles into her jeans, grabs her jacket, stuffs her feet into her boots, and goes running through the woods. I stare in astonishment, still frozen.
“Doug?” The radio crackles. “Josh. I’ve confirmed at least one. I hear them running in your direction. I think the other went the other way.” The footsteps pivot 90 degrees to the west and take off.
The other went the other way?
I get dressed and repack the picnic basket and the blanket quickly. I grab all our clothes, everything I can see, and take off down the slope to the car. I’m hoping Steph’s plan is what I think it is. If so, it might work.
I’m headed directly to the car. Flashlights flicker through the woods and I stop every so often to hide my location. Snatches of conversation from the radios and searchers who pass by clarify what’s going on.
Good. I should be able to brazen this out.
Takes ten minutes of stop and go running, but I finally make it to the car. The parking lot is packed! Shit! I drop down low and bear crawl to the car, staying below any car windows and under most people’s line of sight. I drop the basket, search for the keys and pop the trunk. The basket and telescope are tossed in along with the pile of clothes. I close the trunk carefully, run for cover, and wait.
Just as I suspected. Two middle-aged guys in bright florescent vests are checking cars in the parking lot. I think quickly, check that my jeans and sweater look good and aren’t littered with pine needles, and walk over confidently.
They spot me almost immediately and I nod. “Found ’em yet?”
They look at each other. “No. Who are you?”
“Alex. Alex Rodriguez.” I smile. “Yeah, I’ve heard all the jokes.”
They laugh. “Which search party are you with?”
“None. I heard about this at the last minute. I live on River Chase and the rest of our search party is out there somewhere. My wife’s out there, but it’s getting too cold for me and I gotta get to work by seven. Waiting for the wife to join me.”
“Oh, thanks man! Thanks for coming out. Your wife on her way back?”
“Yeah.” I nod back in the direction I came from. “I was near Josh?” They nod. “Yeah, I was near him when he called in the two lovebirds.”
“Great. How long ago was that?”
I shrug. “About twenty minutes.”
“Thanks, Alex! We’ll catch this boy yet.” They clap my back. “Thanks for all your help, you and your wife.”
I nod and get in the car. I cruise the parking lot toward the exit, waiting. Steph comes running to the car, jumps in, and I cruise out of the parking lot and get back on the road. The moment we’re clear of the park, I floor it and hit the highway.
I hand Steph a water. “Brilliant, Babe.”
She pants, downing the water in a few gulps. “I have to get back on the treadmill.”
“Not quite a 10-minute mile?”
“Not even close.”
“It was rough terrain.”
“Yeah.” She reclines the seat and opens her jacket. I eye her breasts. “How did you know?”
“I studied your clearance tapes, Babe.” I smile. “Great distraction. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“You want to drive?”
“I want to put my shirt on.”
“Babe.” I caress her breasts and she sighs happily.
“Do I want to put my shirt on?”
“I don’t want you to.”
“Sex in public nearly got us arrested just minutes ago.”
I smile. The sex was completely worth the moment of panic. I focus my mind on getting back to the hotel room and not on pulling over and repeating the evening’s activities. Her moan, however, helps me make a quick decision. I unzip her jeans, she works them to her knees, and I use my fingers to get her off a fourth time while she fondles and tweaks her breasts.
I’m weak. I pull the car over, she runs around to the driver’s side, and we replay one of my happiest memories, complete with her car horn beeping the rhythm.
—oOo—
“What the hell was that?”
Four rounds of amazing sex, Babe. Al fresco. You airy folks like to fuck and this fire sign has no objections.
“Sex.”
Aggravated sigh. We’re both fully dressed and back on the road. Steph’s tearing into her second energy bar. “I know that. Earlier. In the woods. What was that?”
“Search party for a pair of teenagers. Apparently, we chose the teenage make-out spot and a little mini-orgy was planned. One girl’s parents did not approve. I’m guessing they got the neighborhood watch involved.”
She stares at me. “You’re kidding me.”
I grin. “I’m still a kid at heart.”
She stares out of the window before giggling, then laughing. “Somewhere out there are a bunch of teenagers who nearly ruined the end of our perfect date.”
I shake my head. “Nah, Babe. That was a perfect date.” She stares at me. “It wouldn’t have been right without a small amount of insanity.”
—oOo—
Steph‘s POV
Except for the last minute exercise, it was a perfect evening. Ranger gets us back to the hotel in record time, we both take showers and collapse into the bed exhausted.
I wake with a familiar, and completely unwelcome, lower body ache. Ranger’s nearly completely covering me and he’s like a radiator, the world’s best hot water bottle, complete with a rapidly hardening heat stick. His fingers are creeping across my hip, moving downward, and I stop him.
“Bad timing.”
“Need to pee?”
“Need to find a tampon.”
He groans. “Damn!”
“No disagreement there.”
He rolls off me and I slide out of bed toward my luggage. Twenty minutes later, I’m dressed and ready to go.
Ranger’s sitting up in bed, an impressive erection on full display. “This is not what I had planned.”
I’m staring. Ranger’s dick is massive and he rarely sits still long enough for me to stare. He slides downward, puts his hands behind his head, and smiles at me. His dick bobs as if to say hello.
I hate Eve right now. I really do. “Would you rather I miss my period?” His lips twitch but he doesn’t say anything. “Ranger?”
“Right now, I wish your period was … not a factor.”
“Yeah.” I sit on the bed and slide my thumb up his shaft. He sucks in air and smiles.
“I’m not opposed to a handjob.”
“I’ll do you one better.”
Moments later I hear him moan. “Yes … yes, you will.”
—oOo—
“Who’s driving to Charlotte?”
“We both are. Switching at the three hour mark.”
“Right.” We’re doing last minute checks. It’s 0650 and Ranger’s ready to go.
I’m tired and dragging. “Carlos?”
“Hmm?”
“Do we have to leave at 0700?”
He walks over and sits next to me, smoothing my hair back from my face. “Tired?”
“I’m always wiped out on day one.”
He stares at me. He walks over to his luggage, digs something out, and hands me a pill. “B vitamin. Should give you some energy.”
I take the vitamin and climb back in the bed. Ranger joins me, spooning behind me. I try to fall asleep again, but I can’t. Thirty minutes later, I’m raring to go. “B vitamins?”
“Yes.”
I make a mental note to pick some up. Also, I’m overdue for the annual check. Fun. No way in hell will Bobby or Zero do that one. I grab my phone and open my music program to make a quick playlist.
I’m not trying to avoid Ranger’s questions, but if Dickie was the beginning, it’s only downhill from there.
“Ready now?”
It’s 0800. I nod. “Yeah. Let’s go.” I climb out of bed, Ranger checks us out, and we head to the garage. “Thanks for convincing me to leave early. We’re a full day ahead.”
He nods. “I get the feeling we’re going to want more time in Charlotte than we had planned.”
We get in the car and make our way to 95. Ranger has the first leg of the trip. I turn on the radio and connect my phone to the car’s speaker system.
In 1000 feet, make a U-turn.
In 500 feet, make a U-turn.
In 100 feet, make a U-turn.
Make a U-turn.
“Babe.”
I switch to the Maps feature and close the app. “Off.”
“Thanks.”
“You don’t like GPS?”
“It’s fine but I only need it when I truly don’t know where I’m going. Highways? I don’t need it then.”
“Repeat that to Hec, would you?”
“Why?”
“The first time I drove to NYC, Hec and Sarah were in the car with me. I moved to turn the GPS off and Hec wouldn’t let me. It drove me insane!” Ranger laughs. “I didn’t need it until I reached Manhattan, but Hec scowled every time my hand reached to turn it off.”
“Hec’s Better safe than sorry.”
“I know.” I’ve been playing with my music list the entire conversation and I finally hit play.
Love is like a bomb, baby, c’mon get it on
Livin’ like a lover with a radar phone
Lookin’ like a tramp, like a video vamp
Demolition woman, can I be your man?
I’m singing along, jamming, when Ranger turns the radio down. “What the hell?”
“What?”
“What in the hell is that?”
My jaw drops. “Def Leppard? Seriously? Pour Some Sugar on Me is one of their most famous songs!”
“Nope.”
“My car, Ranger.”
“I’m driving. You have any Latin or rap?”
I sigh and Ranger snaps his fingers. “OK, what are you using to play the music?”
“Spotify.”
“You can make a playlist?”
“Yeah …”
“OK, let’s make a playlist just for this trip and put it on shuffle.”
“I have a playlist.”
“What’s on it?”
I read the list. Ranger shakes his head. “Not happening, Babe.”
“These are classics!”
“Only if I want to get a headache and develop an intense hatred of guitars. I don’t want that to happen. Too many guitars in Latin music.”
I scowl. “OK, what do you want to add?”
He thinks. “Aventura, Romeo Santos, Prince Royce, Jay-Z, Biggie, Tupac—”
“Wait, wait! Each time you name someone, give me some songs you want me to add.”
Ranger’s lips twitch. “Want to switch?”
“Nope.”
“How about if I click on the Top 10 songs for each group and if the songs you’re looking for aren’t there, we’ll add those?”
“OK. In the meantime, kill … whatever this is.”
I roll my eyes and pause Enter the Sandman. I find Aventura and start listing songs. Ranger adds a few more and the system seems to work. I think quickly, add one extra song, and restart the playlist on that song.
Ranger laughs. “Call Bobby.”
“The song won’t play.”
He hands me his phone and I dial.
“Yo.”
“Yo.” I look at Ranger. He turns the radio up and puts a finger to his lips. Bobby starts laughing. I can hear him singing along on his side.
Now this ain’t for no small booties
No sir cause that won’t pass (show me whatcha workin with)
But if you feel you got the biggest one
Then momma come shake ya ass!
Ranger and Bobby are cracking up.
“I don’t get it.”
“How did you find out about this song, Bomber?”
“Umm …”
“We were ratted out!” Ranger yells.
“Clearly! Beat his ass when you get to Atlanta,” Bobby yells back. I put the phone on speaker.
“Yo!”
“Yeah?”
“Add Big Poppa to the list.”
“Shit! How did we miss that one?” Bobby hangs up and I stare.
“Ranger?”
“Inside joke, Babe.”
I wait. Ranger sighs.
“Bro code.”
“I won’t say anything.”
He shakes his head. “I won’t give you the story, but I’ll give you the meaning behind it.” I nod. “Last hurrah to Tank. A reminder that the only woman’s phone number he’ll get from now on is his wife’s. Tear up the pimp card, hand in your gators and your chalice, that’s over and he’s happy. If ‘Big Poppa’ wants a woman to ‘shake ya ass’ for him now, he better find Lula.”
“Oh.” I need the story. That didn’t make any sense.
—oOo—
We switch seats outside Richmond. Ranger grabs my phone and starts adding songs. I think three Metallica songs in a row might have driven him a bit insane. The Anthrax chaser made his eye twitch.
I look over at him. “Lula’s been promising me a rap cheat sheet for years.”
“The moment she hands it to you, it’ll be obsolete.” He smiles. “Rap is fluid. It builds on what just came out.”
“It all sounds the same.”
He laughs. “OK. Listen.”
The first song is heavy bass and clapping. “OK, what am I listening to?”
“Miami bass. Culo by Pitbull. Cuban rapper.”
“Cuban?”
“Yeah. That is off his first album, a decade ago. Now listen to this. Timber. Last year.”
I listen. “This is rap?”
“Yeah.”
“Ranger, any song that uses a harmonica is country.”
Ranger throws his head back and laughs. “Don’t repeat that around Tank’s brother. He’ll give you a full hip hop history.” He switches songs and gives me a quick rap primer. I’m schooled. West Coast does not sound like East Coast and neither sounds like the ‘Dirty’ South or the Midwest. He stops there, telling me that within each of those four groups there are subgroups, like Miami vs Atlanta vs New Orleans within southern rap.
“What do you listen to?”
“East Coast and Southern. Heavy on the Miami bass.”
“Why?”
“Miami rap sounds like Miami. A mix of all cultures. I mean, Pitbull’s a white Cuban with blue eyes. Who expects him to rap? But he’s Hispanic and he got his start in the Luther Campbell and 2 Live Crew set, famous for Me So Horny.”
My head is spinning. “Wow …”
“You sound … surprised.”
I shrug. “I guess I didn’t expect you to be a rap fan.”
“What did you think I listened to?”
“Dunno. Classical. Latin. Jazz.”
“I do listen to those. You’ve seen my music collection. It’s pretty balanced. And the first few groups I called out were all Latin.”
“Just no heavy metal.”
“None.”
“Yeah.” I bite my lip. “When we rode in your cars, it was quiet. You might play classical, if anything.”
He smiles. “But I’m on a road trip with you and you’re playing heavy metal. I’m playing rap. You play pop, I’ll switch to more Latin stuff. I could switch to classical. Some of those pieces last ten to twelve minutes.”
“That’s OK,” I reply hastily. He laughs and finishes with a song off Tank’s brother’s album.
“I like this one.”
“Me too. Antoine’s really working hard to make his name. He’s trying to get Macklemore in his studio.”
“Who?”
“Hottest rapper out right now. White guy. Socially conscious rap.”
“I know who Eminem is.”
“That’s good. Asher Roth?” I shake my head. “OK. You’re only a decade behind.” My jaw drops. “The genre moves fast, Babe. Gotta stay relevant to stay on top.”
He switches back to Metallica. “OK, school me because all this sounds the same.”
“Trust me, Metallica and Megadeth do not sound the same, but let’s start with Garbage.”
