Nobody’s Perfect
Hal’s POV
Junior agreed to step in as XO for the week of Thanksgiving so I could take Candy home to meet my parents. I’m looking forward to it.
Candy’s nervous.
I’ve told her that my parents are conservative and traditional and she’s interpreting that as ‘judgmental’. I don’t think my family is judgmental but . . . let’s just say that the values of faith, family, and hard work are big in my family.
Candy’s upbringing was a little more . . . ‘bohemian’ might be the word my mother uses. Both of her parents are on their third marriages, she has a bunch of siblings and her family isn’t close.
My parents are big believers in the idea that you don’t marry a person. You marry a family.
Candy is getting a tight-knit family from me. Candy’s family is definitely ‘every man for himself’. I learned that when we visited her mother while we were in Miami during Steph’s Miami review.
Her mother was the most … um … interesting person I’ve ever met. On the surface, Candy is her mother’s clone. Same beautiful blue eyes, same golden blond hair, same voice, same loving, giving spirit.
The main difference was how that spirit manifested itself. Mrs. Monroe spent her time trying to demonstrate that, at 44, she was in better shape than Candy.
Only her plastic surgeon would agree, which would make him the biggest liar on the East Coast.
What do you do when you want to make a good impression on the parents and they’re more interested in impressing you? I guess I should have been grateful to be let off the hook, but I felt a little let down. I was expecting to be grilled about my intentions. It would have been the first time ever, but Candy’s stepfather is definitely a sugar daddy. I tried to spend time with him, but he only wanted to talk about his golf game, his Mercedes, and his wife’s ‘new knockers’.
I don’t golf, I drive a Chevy, and I didn’t want to comment on Mrs. Monroe’s ‘knockers’. It made for an interesting afternoon.
Candy took one look at my face, when I was trying to make conversation with her mother, and took pity on me. She’d walked up on her mother asking me my opinion of her breast augmentation. She’d whipped off her top to show me. I was trying to look everywhere except at her breasts and Trish Monroe was determined to show me how bouncy they were.
“Feel ’em! Aren’t they great!”
I didn’t want to feel them. I didn’t want to be ruined for real breasts. Mrs. Monroe’s chest could double for Dolly Parton.
“I think Trish’ll win another ‘Got MILF’ award this year,” Mr. Monroe crowed proudly. Candy walked over to me and took my hand.
“What do you get if you win?” I asked.
“$250 and a free bar tab!”
“For the year?”
“For that night.”
“Awesome prize,” Candy replied drily, squeezing my hand hard. I was really working to keep my blank face in place. “So Mom, Luke’s having trouble in school?” She took her mother’s hand and tugged her to the back door. Her mom put her top back on (finally!) and followed Candy, but as they reached the door, I heard Mrs. Monroe say, “I expected your boyfriend to be a little more lively, Candy. I’ve never met a man with no interest in my breasts!”
My jaw (mentally) dropped. You’re my future mother-in-law! I don’t want to think ‘Breasts!’ when I think of you!
“Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked as we walked to the car to return to RM-Miami.
I pulled Candy closer and kissed her. “She’s your mother. You wanted to see her and your brothers. I liked the garden. I didn’t mind spending time out there.” I opened the door and waited for her to get in. I got in the driver’s seat and pulled away, waving at the Monroes.
Candy smiled, tears running down her face. “I don’t deserve you.”
I grinned. “I don’t deserve you. Thanks for not killing me.”
“I couldn’t. You were bright red and staring everywhere except at my mother’s chest. It was actually kind of adorable.” I blushed. “Most men would have been drooling.”
“I hope not. That makes men look bad, as a group.”
Candy laughed. “Miami. Men are accustomed to staring at both scantily clad women and cosmetic work, but you’re right. That was insensitive, so I’ll rephrase. Most Miami men wouldn’t have batted an eye.” I grinned. “So, thank you for telling my mother they’d look nicer inside a bra.”
“Or a bikini. I did give her the option of a bikini.”
That was a mistake. Mrs. Monroe took my suggestion seriously and had returned to the backyard in a string bikini showing off all her assets and proceeded to point out some of her doctor’s best work. It was like sitting through a movie. I’d put my blank face in place and nodded at the appropriate parts.
I’d really hoped Candy was enjoying her time with her little brothers. All of my blood flow was going to my face. I’m absolutely certain of that.
Candy decided it was time to leave when Mr. Monroe offered to pay for her boob job. “I mean, you got a great set, Candy, but I’m sure Hal would agree that bigger’s always better!”
I’d stared at him. “Not always.”
“You do realize that I won’t look like that at 44, right?” she asked once we were on the highway headed to RM-Miami.
“You can if I pay for it.” I grinned at her. “I’ll pay for it if you really want it.”
“If I want it that bad, I’ll pay for it.” Candy shuddered. “My step-father offered to pay for bigger tits for me. How should I take that? They’re big enough! I was tempted to tell him he needed a—”
“Stop! I don’t even want to consider it.”
She laughed. “Well, now you know what I’ll look like at 44 with extensive plastic surgery and an indulgent husband.” She laced her fingers with mine and smiled.
I shivered. “I know how skilled your mother’s plastic surgeon is.”
“Well, I give Mom credit: she does her best to stay attractive. That’s not easy in Miami. There’s always a younger model.”
“What’s your mother’s fall-back?”
“A new husband.”
“Seriously?”
“Mom has a high school diploma, a few beauty queen titles, and an AA in paralegal studies. She’s a housewife.”
I bit my lip, wondering if I should say what I thought. “And what happens when Doug decides he wants a younger model? I mean, your mother can only get so much plastic surgery.”
Candy snorted. “My mother’s lawyer writes excellent pre-nups. Mom’s set for life.”
“Doug?”
“And Jeff. Mom made sure she was covered.”
“Not your Dad?”
“That was ‘youthful indiscretion’, before she realized what a money-making institution marriage is.”
I looked at her; we were stuck in traffic. “How are you not cynical about marriage?”
She smiled at me. “I was before I met you.”
I kissed her, a deep sweet kiss. “I changed your mind?” I whispered.
“You showed me that there were good men out there, men who aren’t assholes, men who see more than tits and ass when they look at women.”
“Miami isn’t great for women,” I said, thinking of the sexism surveys we’d just taken. “Everything seems focused on how you look.”
She sighed. “It’s a tropical city and it’s 70 degrees or hotter most of the time. The beach is a major part of everyone’s life and the cultural mix in the city encourages the young, sexy, and daring to show off. If you are confident in your body, Miami is wonderful.” I raised a brow. “Seriously. That’s how I finally got comfortable in my body. In Miami, no one batted an eye. The same body that the girls in high school snickered about got rave reviews on the beach. They could call me fat at lunch and we’d go to the beach and they’d get ignored. I got the attention!”
She grinned. I shook my head.
“The trick is that you have to be comfortable in who you are. You can be overweight or obese at the beach in a string bikini and no one will bat an eye as long as you work it.” She snapped her fingers and I laughed. “That’s something that’s wonderful about Miami. Because of the Spanish and Caribbean influences, sexy curves have always been popular. Models are fine, but the beautiful women on the beach have serious curves. They were Beyonce and J. Lo before anyone was talking about J. Lo’s ass.”
We laughed and I hit the surface streets back to RangeMan.
“Well, your body is your own, but sagging does not bother me. I’ll be as indulgent as you want but I don’t expect you to look 17 at 47.”
“I know.” She sighed and looked at her breasts. “Still, I guess I expect to pay for a lift at some point.”
“OK.”
I spent hours that night ensuring Candy understood that I didn’t think she needed a boob job. I liked everything she already had and I made sure I was vocal and tactile in my appreciation.
I want her breasts to stay right where they are, whatever her age.
I haven’t met Candy’s dad yet, but Candy says they’re more like each other. I hope so. I’m not giving her dad any opinions on anything he’s had altered, tucked, enhanced or reduced.
—oOo—
I finally got a chance to meet Cassie right before Halloween. She and Steve had figured out where Candy was and they wanted to see her, to ‘catch up’. Candy told me this over breakfast the day she was supposed to meet her, biting her lip. I sighed silently and included Cassie in my morning prayer. I really hoped she was off the drugs. If she wasn’t I’d have to pray harder, but my girlfriend was stripping for me exclusively these days.
It was worse than Junior told me. Cassie looked fifteen years older than Candy, not two years younger. Between the cancer, chemo, and hard drugs, she already looked as if she’d lived a hard life. Her blond hair was uneven and limp, her eyes had suitcases underneath, and her skin was dry and pale. She was wearing long sleeves and ratty jeans and her sneakers were talking. Steve didn’t look much better but he looked better.
Candy was a portrait of good health and happiness standing next to her sister.
“Hey, sis,” Cassie murmured as she hugged Candy. “You look good.”
“Thanks.” Candy was clearly affected by Cassie’s appearance. I could see that she wanted to pull Cassie away from Steve and take her home with us and I wasn’t sure about that. Maybe if Cassie were willing to leave him I might be willing to set her up in a hotel room, but no way would she ever set foot in our home if she were still on drugs.
I like our Blu-Ray player.
We all sat down in the booth at the cheap diner Cassie and Steve had asked us to meet them at. The jukebox was playing classic Johnny Cash, the stuff from Folsom I grew up listening to. The waitress watched us suspiciously, but she didn’t hesitate to bring water, silverware, and the menus, snapping her gum the entire time. The place smelled of good cheap greasy food, the kind of stuff I loved in high school. I was comfortable there and I knew I’d have a club sandwich if they made one.
Steve was eyeing me with loathing. He was trying to blank his face, but it was clear he wanted to hit me. I smirked at him. “Steve. Need some help? I could always call my pal to give you another syringe full of the good stuff.”
He shivered. “No thanks, asshole,” he muttered. Cassie poked him in the side and glared at him before turning to Candy.
“Let’s order,” Candy blurted, looking at me in a panic. I stared at her and sighed mentally before pulling her from the booth.
“Yeah. You guys go ahead and order. On me. We’ll be back.”
Cassie beamed and I could see the remnants of a beautiful woman somewhere in there. I pulled Candy outside and into my embrace. “OK, tell me what’s wrong.”
Candy was biting her lip and when she looked up I could tell that she was trying not to cry. She took a deep breath and said, “It’s hard for me not to want to pull her from him and take her home with us. I’m so afraid I’ll crack and say OK to whatever she asks and then I’ll want to keep my promise and I know he’s no good and—”
I pulled her close to me and rubbed her back as she sniffed. “It’s OK. I was thinking the same thing, but Candy,” I pulled back, “this is the part where you have to stand firm. If her request for money doesn’t have anything to do with drug rehab or a divorce then drug rehab, then you have to say no.”
“God helps those who help themselves?” Candy asked mulishly.
“That’s not in the Bible and that statement is counter to God’s message of forgiveness and charity, number one,” I replied. She looked up. “Sorry, but a pet peeve of mine is people who think that verse is in the Bible. Anyway, step one: admitting you have a problem.
Until Cassie admits she has a problem, she won’t change. We could throw all the money and help in the world at her and it won’t make a difference. She has to want to make a difference in her life. We can’t help her until that happens.” I sighed. “The fact that she showed up with Steve, who was disgusted at the idea of taking something designed to help him kick his habit, means she isn’t ready yet.”
“So I’m just supposed to ignore that she needs help?”
“No. You’re supposed to remain mindful of what she’s asking for. Is she asking for your help? Or just your money?”
Candy’s shoulders slumped but she nodded and we walked back in. The waitress was at our booth. “They’ve ordered. Whatcha want, honey?” she asked, looking at Candy. We looked at the menu and ordered club sandwiches. She pointed to the empty container that had held a selection of sweeteners. Candy blushed bright red and handed it over. The waitress shuffled off and I sat back and stared at Cassie.
Candy and Cassie started making small talk, catching up on family. Since Candy had moved to Trenton, we’d frozen her credit reports, instituted a fraud alert, and officially reported her as a victim of identity theft, which meant they couldn’t open any credit accounts in Candy’s name. I listened and it became clear that that’s what Cassie was fishing around to find out.
“I mean, it’s been so hard getting any help lately.” She sighed. “We try to open accounts and we’re blocked, we try to get a copy of our credit reports and there’s a fraud alert; everything’s just been a mess.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Candy replied. “I ran your background and your credit reports after I took my job at RangeMan.” Cassie and Steve looked over in disbelief. “Your credit reports are a mess. You probably won’t be able to get a job anywhere until you clean that up.”
They were both silent. The waitress arrived with our meals. Cassie and Steve had attempted to order the entire menu. They had omelets with hash browns, salads, chicken noodle soup, club sandwiches, and both had ordered a chicken tender plate with fries and coleslaw.
Even on my best day I couldn’t eat all of that. I sighed. Well, I was doing my part. Cassie and Candy would part and Cassie would have a full stomach for the next few days.
I watched as Cassie and Steve ate the omelets, soup and salads and only picked at the sandwiches and the chicken tenders. Candy and I finished off our sandwiches and I asked for to-go containers for Cassie and Steve. They packed everything up (including the replaced sweeteners), ordered dessert (I raised an eyebrow at Candy, who blushed crimson), and sat back, smiling.
“Well, not that this hasn’t been a great lunch, sis, but what do you want?” Candy asked, sitting forward.
“Well, we’d like to go visit Mom. She told me you went to see her when you were in Miami recently. Money to get plane tickets would be nice.” She smiled. “We looked it up. Should be about $1000 for the both of us.”
Candy looked at me. I pulled out my phone and starting looking. “$354 on Greyhound with one transfer. $480 on Amtrak straight through.”
“Hey, we said plane tickets,” Steve said angrily.
I looked at him coldly. “You spend her money, you get what she pays for. You don’t call the shots and we buy the tickets the day you leave. You want to fly? You pay for it.” I looked at Cassie. “Greyhound or Amtrak?”
She looked ready to cry. “I’d, we’d, have to sit there for hours! And both of those options are smelly and crowded.”
Candy snorted. “You haven’t flown lately.” She looked at her sister, steely resolve clear. “Hal’s right. If I buy these tickets, I’ll tell Mom when and where to pick you up and you’re going the cheapest way possible, which is Greyhound. Thanks to you, I’m still trying to clean up my credit and background.”
“You didn’t go Greyhound to Miami!”
“Because I didn’t pay for it,” Candy retorted. “I went the way someone else, in this case RangeMan, paid for. If Hal and I go somewhere, we get to call the shots because we’re paying. So if you want me to pay for these tickets, you go Greyhound and we buy them the day you leave. You want me to buy the tickets?”
Steve picked up the bag containing their leftover food. “No thanks. We don’t intend to sit day after day to get to Miami. Thanks for nothing.” He and Cassie slid out of the booth and walked out of the diner.
Candy turned to me. “Why would we buy the tickets at the last minute? Isn’t that more expensive?”
I looked at her. For all Candy’s worldliness, she’s still so trusting and forgiving. “If you bought them airline tickets in advance they’d sell them somehow. It’s another way of getting $1000 out of you. If we buy them bus tickets the day they’re supposed to leave, they have no choice but to get on the bus.”
“So they didn’t really want to visit Mom?” she asked in a tiny voice. I shook my head. “They just wanted to use me for money again.”
I nodded. “If they really wanted to visit your mom, then they would have accepted the tickets you offered.”
Candy sat back in the booth, tears in her eyes, watching her sister walk off with the crap husband she’d chosen. Cassie looked back at Candy every so often, but Steve would tug her to keep moving. When they were no longer in sight, Candy turned to me. I put my arm around her and patted her back while she cried into my side.
Our waitress came over and left the check on the table. She returned moments later with two slices of pie. I smiled my thanks and she nodded.
“On the house,” she said quietly. “She looks like she needs it.”
I eyed the pie. Chocolate silk. Hey, I needed it.
—oOo—
We arrive in Kansas City the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and my brother Lan greets us at baggage claim. Well, he doesn’t greet as much as he gapes at Candy.
I sigh. This is the start to a long week.
Candy turns to me. “OK, Chris, Jessica, Lauren, Christine, Lance and you, right?”
“Right,” I whisper. I wave at Lan. “Hey, bro.”
He finally tears his eyes away from Candy to look at me. I know I’m scowling. I know Candy loves me and she only has eyes for me, but my older brother is considered the handsome one. Actually, both of my older brothers are considered handsome and smart. I’m considered . . . dumb but good-looking. Gullible.
The order matters there.
I look over and Candy looks amused. She puts her hand in mine and smiles. “Hi. You must be Lance.”
He grins, beet red. “Yeah. I hope you’re Candy. Otherwise, Hal’s a lucky bastard.”
“And if I am?”
“Hal’s the luckiest bastard I ever met.”
Candy laughs and Lance hugs her. He lets go and pulls me into a hug, whispering “Hold on to that one, bro!” in my ear. I punch his side as I let go.
“Well, Candy, welcome to Kansas! It’s good to finally meet the woman that makes Hal blush. Whoops! No change there.” He grins and Candy laughs. Lan and I grab the suitcases and head out to his car.
My brother is a successful geneticist working here in Kansas for my alma mater, Kansas State, as a researcher. He loves his job and what he does and he married last year. He and his wife, Kelsey, just had a baby girl named Kara. He brags on Kara and Kelsey and tells Candy all about the family.
Most of the family is staying at either my parents’, my uncle William’s, or my Aunt Sam’s for Thanksgiving and we’ll have dinner at my gran Mary’s. I check email on my phone. Junior is sending a daily update and he reports that, so far, everything is normal. No worries. We drive to Topeka and pull up at my parents’ home. The family is standing on the porch to greet us. Mom and Dad step off the porch, all smiles.
“Hal!” Mom kisses me. She smells of vanilla and chocolate, so I know she’s been baking. She steps back and Dad steps forward and shakes my hand, then claps me on the back. Ouch! My father is still a stronger man than I. I motion Candy forward and they both look over at her, smiles wide.
“Mom, Dad, I’d like to introduce my girlfriend, Candace Taylor. Candy, my parents, John and Mary Linden.”
Candy smiles broadly. “Mr. and Mrs. Linden, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
My mother smothers her in a hug. “You too, Candace! Should I call you Candace or Candy? Oh, we’ve been looking forward to meeting you ever since Hal said he was bringing his girlfriend for Thanksgiving.” Mom takes her by the arm and pulls her into the house, asking a million questions.
I watch, smiling. I really want my parents to love Candy as much as I do.
I hear a throat clear next to me and I look over. My father looks amused. “Think you’ve found a good woman, Hal?”
“I know I have, sir.”
—oOo—
True to family tradition, Candy and I are not sharing a room. We aren’t married and my parents won’t treat us like a married couple until we have the commitment before God and someone’s legal authority. I’d hoped, but didn’t really expect it. Candy is sharing with my nieces Lindsay and Marie and I’m in with my nephew, Jonathan.
“Uncle Hal, your girlfriend has the biggest tits I’ve ever seen on any woman! Are they real?”
I glare at him and he drops the grin. “First, they’re breasts. Refer to them as breasts.”
“Yes, sir.”
I expect that went in one ear and out the other. John-boy is 15.
“Second, whether or not they’re real is not your business. Treat her respectfully like you’ve been raised.”
“Yes, sir.” He leaves the room, sobered, and Lan steps in and closes the door, holding in a laugh.
“I’ll make sure Chris follows that lesson up, but I gotta say, bro, I don’t blame John-boy for wondering. Your girlfriend makes sweaters look good!”
I can’t hold the grin. “Doesn’t matter. Tits? Mom would have killed us as kids for using that word to refer to anything aside from a cow.””
“Yeah. I know.”
We stare at each other before laughing. “Where’d you meet her?”
I still don’t have a slick answer for this question. “Casino.”
“Really?” Lan stares at me, smiling. “And what were you doing at the casino? Gambling?”
“Nah. My co-workers threw me a congratulations party when I got my promotion.”
“Nice.” Lan leaves and I sit on the bed.
Whew! I might make it OK after all.
—oOo—
Chris, my eldest brother, arrived with Michael, his younger son, while Lan and I were talking and he’s in the kitchen staring at Candy. Chris is fresh off a divorce. First one in our family. No one knows how to respond to that.
I know how I’m going to respond if he doesn’t stop staring at Candy’s butt. Candy’s oblivious. She and my Mom are talking and Candy’s trying to make a good impression. Otherwise, she would have put Chris in his place by now.
“Chris!”
He turns slowly, barely willing to drag his eyes away from Candy. “Hal. Hey.” His eyes are still darting back to Candy, so I walk over and pull him into a hug.
“Eyes up. Quit that,” I whisper.
He pounds my back and smiles. “It’s been a while.”
“Understood, but not mine. Get your own.”
He grins. “Hal, you really think you stand a chance against me?”
I glare at him. “She isn’t a football, Chris. I’m not six, you aren’t twenty. This time, I’ll win.” I poke his middle. “I don’t have thirty extra pounds sitting on my gut to slow me down and I have all my hair.”
Chris winces from my poke. “OK, OK, I get the picture.” He looks up. “You’re still cutting it Army-short though, I see.”
“She likes it.”
He grins mischievously. “Something to grab onto?”
“I’m not answering that.”
“You don’t have to. Something that beautiful? I hope you’re bedding her.”
I glare at him. Candy’s turned around and is smiling. “Hello.”
“Candy, this is Chris. He’s the oldest.”
Candy smiles and Chris is dumbstruck. “Hi, Chris! It’s nice to meet you.” Candy hugs him and when she steps away, I see the look on his face.
He’s gonna try.
—oOo—
Candy’s POV
This is the first time I’ve met a boyfriend’s family since I was fifteen and it’s nerve racking.
“So Candy, what do you do?” Christine asks.
Hal’s sisters have arrived and I’m going through the drill.
“I’m the director of HR for RangeMan.”
“Oh.” She looks impressed. “So what does that mean, exactly?”
I give her an overview of my job and she, Lauren, and Jessica nod. I’m tossing a salad and making salad dressing. That causes a few eyebrows to rise.
“You make salad dressing, dear?” Hal’s grandmother, Miss Mary, says. “You don’t have to. We buy the stuff.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I smile. “Working at RangeMan means adapting to their lifestyle and their eating habits. I read the labels on everything now.” I pull their bottle of Italian salad dressing. “This has stuff not found in nature. What I’m making is all natural and healthy.”
“Oh no,” Jessica moans. “You’re not one of those granola eating, Birkenstock wearing liberals are you?” Everyone laughs.
Not entirely. I hate Birkenstocks. I guess now is not the time to pull out my feminist credentials. “Nope. Definitely not, but I am in training with the company. I’ve lost 20 pounds adapting to their lifestyle.”
“Where?” Chris asks. He’s been staring at my ass all day. It’s getting annoying.
“All over.” I smile at the sisters. “I’ve dropped two sizes so far. Hal thinks it’s funny. I whine about the diet, then go shopping for new clothes.” Everyone laughs. “He’s groaning about closet space.”
“I don’t have any!”
“You have an apartment in the RangeMan building.”
“You have clothes there too!”
Everyone is cracking up. I roll my eyes. “I never realized black SWAT and combat boots needed so much room.”
“You two live together?” Mrs. Linden asks.
Crap! We were trying to keep things vague. “Yes. Candy lives with me.” He smiles reassuringly at me. “Or, she’s taken over my apartment since I have an apartment in the RangeMan building.”
“Oh.” Significant looks are passed around. “So, how long have you two been living together?”
“Not long.” I smile nervously. “Just long enough for him to complain about my clothes and his closet space and for me to complain about the guns.”
“There’s nothing wrong with the guns.”
“There is when they take up precious closet space.”
Everyone laughs. I wipe my brow mentally. Dodged a bullet there.
“He was never really into guns as a child,” Miss Mary says. “With Henry, you had to worry about potholes and things collapsing.”
“Remember when he demolished half the front porch?” Mrs. Linden says. Everyone cracks up. “I thought I might kill him once I made sure he was OK!”
“It was an accident!” Hal says. “I didn’t realize that knocking that post out of place would cause the entire porch to sag.” He walks over and kisses my cheek. “What they aren’t telling you is that Dad made me rebuild the porch, at nine, and set all the posts in concrete. I was nine, Candy!” I’m laughing as he looks at his family, mock angry.
“So imagine how we felt when we heard he became a sapper,” Lance says. “Once we figured out what that meant we weren’t sure if we should be proud or very afraid.”
“What did you decide?” I ask.
“Proud. The US Army had really found the best man they could to blow things up and rebuild bridges.”
Again, everyone laughs. Hal shakes his head.
I finish the salad and put it on the table. “Anything else I can help with?”
Everyone starts passing me dishes and I place them on the table. Chris follows me as I set the table.
“So Candy, where on earth did you meet Hal?”
“In Atlantic City.” Jessica and Lauren walk in and I’m so grateful. “It was love at first sight.”
“Awww …” they titter. “You and wittle Hal?” Jessica says, smiling. “How did you meet?”
“He was there for a party and I was there working.” I smile. “Our eyes met and we were kinda inseparable after that. He got my number, ditched his friends and took me out to dinner. After that, he started calling me every night, then he came to see me to take me out on another date and the rest is history.”
“The hard sell, huh?” Chris says, leering over my shoulder. “I’m trying to imagine Hal being smooth enough to get a date with you, let alone any woman.”
I turn. “That’s why he got a date with me. He wasn’t smooth. He was sincere.” The room fills and everyone takes their seats. I’m placed directly across from Chris. Damn. He’s gonna stare at my tits all through this meal. I just know it.
“Sincere?”
“Yes.” I look to Mr. Linden, as Hal said all meals begin with prayer, but he motions for me to finish my statement. I turn back to Chris. “I grew up in Miami. I’ve listened to men shoot lines at me since I was fifteen. I’ve heard them all. Sincerity? Honesty? A straightforward approach? That was new and I appreciated it. That’s what made me notice Hal and that’s why he got a date.”
“Oh.” Chris looks at his father. Mr. Linden smiles, everyone clasps hands and we bend our heads to pray.
—oOo—
Dinner is wonderful. Hal whispers that all bets are off over Thanksgiving. Bobby never schedules pop health assessments between Thanksgiving and New Year, so I indulge. Everyone discusses their jobs and families and I try to keep up with the names of every child I’m told about.
There’s just too many. Five siblings? Hal has at least ten nieces and nephews! I stop trying to keep up when the cousins and second cousins are mentioned.
Hal helps me duck questions about my family. I tell everyone the bare minimums but I can tell it’s not over.
“So you’re the only woman in that building?” Christine asks over dessert.
“No. Stephanie is there—”
“Stephanie!” the entire family yells.
Hal turns red immediately. “Yes. She’s now my boss,” he says.
There’s a moment of silence before everyone starts laughing. Hal smiles but I can tell he’s not amused. I take his hand and stroke my thumb across his fingers.
“Yes, Stephanie’s there,” I reply over the laughter. “She’s in and out a lot, but she’s there and so is Ella, the housekeeper.”
“A housekeeper?” Gran Mary asks. “What does she do?”
Hal grins. “She cooks, cleans, and she does my laundry.”
“Then what do you need Candy for?” Lan asks.
“I can think of what I’d need her for,” Chris mutters.
“I’m going to pretend the last two statements were not uttered at my table,” Mr. Linden says. Everyone quiets. “Chris, I believe you owe Candace an apology for such a rude statement. And Lance, if you can’t think of any other reason you’d need your wife, I think you and Kelsey need to have a talk.”
“I agree,” Kelsey says tightly, looking at Lance. He blushes and stares at the table.
“Candace, you have my sincerest apologies. I should not have said what I thought,” Chris says.
It’s the world’s shittiest apology but I nod anyway. Mr. Linden turns to Hal. “So, this lady is employed to take care of . . . Who exactly?”
“Top leadership,” Hal replies. “We work 12-14 hour days, so she considers our laundry a part of her duties. Stephanie, Ram, Manny and I are the only people with permanent living space in the building, so if we need laundry service, we just need to leave our dirty clothes in the special hamper she bought and she’ll do laundry. Ella’s a great woman. She’s related to Ranger. His aunt by marriage in some way.”
“So this is a service she provides?”
“Yes, sir.”
“You show your appreciation?”
Hal grins. “Yes, sir. Always. She had to talk us into it. Manny, Ram, and I were not OK with the idea at first. Now that Manny’s married and I’m staying at the apartment more, she’s just had Ram’s laundry lately.”
“So Candy, what do you do?” Mrs. Linden asks.
I sigh. “I’m forced to do my own laundry.” The ladies smile. “Because Hal’s spending more time at our apartment and less time in the building, I do his laundry too.”
“I do laundry too,” Hal says. “I’ve learned that bras do not go in the washing machine with everything else.”
Kelsey and the sisters laugh. “Good job, Hal.”
“Good.” Mr. Linden smiles. “Good to know my son is sharing household duties.” Hal smiles. “So Candy, tell us about your family.”
It’s quiet again. I guess there’s really no getting around this.
“I’m the eldest of eight—”
“Eight?” Mrs. Linden leans forward, looking shocked.
“Yes. I have one full sister, three half-brothers, two half-sisters, and one stepsister.”
I can see everyone doing mental math.
“So your parents are divorced?” Mrs. Linden asks.
“Yes.”
“Each on a second marriage?” Kelsey asks.
I look at Hal. He rolls his eyes.
“Third marriages.”
“So, why did they divorce?” Mr. Linden asks.
Damn! New topic, please!
“I really can’t say. I was young when they divorced. Four.”
“Oh.”
This is met with significant silence. Mrs. Linden stands to clear the table and everyone pitches in. The men scrape dishes and load the dishwasher while Miss Mary plates desserts. I carry them back to the dining room while Hal’s mother makes coffee and tea. We resettle around the dining room table.
“So, you went to college?” Miss Mary asks encouragingly, as if to speed this along. I smile at her. She’s been the most welcoming.
“Yes. Florida International. I majored in Human Resources.”
“Why?”
“I like helping people. HR is all about helping people at work. People spend hours of their lives at work, one third to one half of their day, and my job is to help. It’s really rewarding when I can help cut costs but improve lives.”
Everyone nods.
“What’s that like, working at RangeMan?” Kelsey asks. “I mean, I know that Hal works mostly with men. Are they OK with you being there?”
I laugh. “Sit back, relax, and let me tell you some stories.”
—oOo—
Hal’s POV
I’m finally relaxing. Trying to avoid discussing her family took effort. Candy’s telling my family stories about working at RangeMan and they’re cracking up.
“It’s like working with frat house boys sometimes,” she says over everyone’s laughs. “Seriously! Working at RangeMan is wonderful. They’re great men and they have a lot of fun together. The guys in Trenton, a lot of them are former Special Forces soldiers and I’ve never met a bigger group of practical jokers!”
“Tell them the one Ram did to me and how I got him back.”
Candy starts laughing so hard she cries. Mom takes a moment to bring over a tureen of hot chocolate and check on my nieces and nephews. They’re all done in the kitchen, so they’re free to go outside and play. She returns and everyone sits with their hot chocolate as Candy starts telling the story.
“OK, so after we came back from Miami, we were trying to get back into the routine in the office. Junior ran it while we were in Miami—”
“How is Junior?” my mother asks.
“Great, and he sends his regards to everyone,” I reply. My parents met Junior and they think of him as another son.
“Sorry, Candace. Please go on.”
“Sure. OK, so he’d had a great time, better than he assumed he would. So Hal decided to put him in charge again for a weekend while we went on a romantic trip to Pennsylvania. Junior told Ram and Ram thought up a plan to prank Hal since Hal had forgiven an earlier prank.”
“What prank?” Chris asks.
I wave. “It had to do with my “Congratulations” party when I was made XO. Some other time. This one is better.”
Candy nods. “This is much better. So Ram and Junior cook up this plan. They go out and buy boxes of Styrofoam peanuts and fill Hal’s office from top to bottom. They even removed a small window above Hal’s door to finish filling the office with peanuts.” A few giggles start up. “We come back and we know something’s up immediately. Everyone’s smiling and pretending not to watch us.
Hal tries to opens the door and he can’t. The door won’t budge. He thinks someone’s put a desk or something behind it, wedged it somehow, so he runs at the door and turns the knob at the same time. Well, it opens a little bit, enough for some Styrofoam peanuts to trickle out. So now that he has the door open, he starts pushing to get it open and gets hit with a massive load of Styrofoam peanuts. I mean, hit so hard he staggers back and starts yelling for help!”
The family is laughing uncontrollably now.
“Meanwhile, the 0900 XO call is about to start and, unless there’s some extenuating circumstances, Tank likes to know that we’re on the company’s phone system since that’s more secure than cell phones. So Hal’s battling his way through foam peanuts trying to get to the phone, but the guys anticipated that. They completely switched his office around!”
Even I’m shaking my head at the memory. My family is cracking up.
“After ten minutes of battling peanuts, Hal walks out, glaring at everyone with little peanuts stuck to every part of his body.” Candy’s giggling uncontrollably. “He walks to my office muttering about payback and vengeance and the guys are laughing and joking about how well they got Hal. I go find Luis and the moment I find him, he hands me a shovel and some garbage bags. Luis took pictures of Hal battling the peanuts!”
She flips to the pictures on her phone and passes them around. I’m completely red. The family thinks this is great!
“Good Lord, Henry! How many boxes of peanuts is that?” Gran asks.
“Twelve. We kept them. If we have to ship anything, we’re prepared.”
Everyone laughs and keeps passing the phone. I see my siblings forwarding the photos to themselves.
“It took us two hours to get the peanuts down to a manageable level. Steph thought it was great, but she wanted in on the payback. So she and Hal started plotting and that’s when the guys got nervous.”
“Why?” Lan asks, wiping his eyes.
“Because Steph’s mental,” I reply. “She specializes in payback.”
“So, she and Hal start small. They work with Hector to replace Ram’s computer background with Justin Bieber. Ram hates Justin Bieber. Then they reprogrammed his office and cell phones to sing Justin Bieber.” Everyone starts laughing again. “Ram comes back on Monday and they’ve covered every surface in the office with Justin Bieber. But the coup de grace was what Hal and Steph pulled off right after Steph returned from San Antonio.”
“What happened?” Mom asks, smiling.
“Yes, how did you top the peanuts, Hal?” Gran Mary asks.
Candy looks at me. “You want the honors?”
“Oh yeah.” I grin. “The guys know that if it’s manual I’m good, but they didn’t realize how good. I’m a sapper. Construction and demolition is in my blood. So I got Luis to help me with this one. Ram’s office is at the end of a corridor and he has a nice setup. It’s rare that someone goes down his hallway for something, so he would be the only person affected by my plan. So Luis and I measured and went to Home Depot.”
Candy puts her napkin down and starts laughing.
“We came back, swore the overnight shift to secrecy and got started. When Ram came in the next day, he couldn’t find his office. There was a wall in the way!”
Dad’s laughs are the loudest at the table. Lan high fives me and everyone is cheering.
“We put up a fake wall right in the middle of the corridor! Steph had bought potted plants and pictures to decorate, Candy helped me paint, Luis and I installed fire extinguishers and light switches, I mean, it looked real! Ram was confused—”
“No, you had to see it!” Candy says, laughing. “Ram walked back and forth for an hour like, ‘This wall wasn’t here Friday! Did my office move? Where’s my office?'” Candy rests her head on my shoulder, tears streaming down her face. “Meanwhile, Hal’s making jokes about the unobservant sniper who hasn’t realized his office moved. ‘Did you get the interoffice memo, Sinclair?’ Really messing with Ram. ‘It was printed on Bieber paper. We wanted to make sure it was brought to your attention.'”
Everyone’s wiping their eyes and laughing.
“You want to mess with Ram? Insinuate that he missed a detail. Ram was ticked. He started examining the wall, really looking, and he finally found the one flaw I’d left so he wouldn’t go insane. So he found a piece of string, a cord, and pulls it. Well, you pull that piece of string and the entire wall falls onto your head!”
Everyone cracks up again. Gran is clutching her chest, she’s laughing so hard. Dad is red-faced, tears streaming down his face, and I’ve never been more proud in my life.
“It was lightweight drywall! It wasn’t going to hurt him but now he gets that he was pranked. Me and Steph are standing there, smiling, and before he can say anything she says—”
“She says, ‘I’m in the prank war now. You wanna fight dirty? We can fight dirty.” So Ram looks at Hal and complains that it’s not fair that he has Steph and Hal says it’s not fair that Ram turned Junior against him. So Ram tells her that Manny has to come home from Boston because he needs his partner back—”
“And what he really meant was he needed Manny back because Manny’s devious and tricky and Ram wants backup,” I add.
“And Mike from Boston starts complaining because if Manny comes back, he has to go back to Boston and he likes Trenton. We’re all insane and we’re led by the quiet nut case. Steph asks which one and Mike looks at Ram and Hal, then looks at Steph and says, “Ya know, I think I heah my phone,” and leaves as quick as he can.”
I stand and take a bow as the family gives me a standing ovation.
—oOo—
Candy’s POV
I’m dressing in my flannel PJs when there’s a knock at the door. I jam my feet into my socks and answer.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Hal pulls me closer and kisses me. I throw my arms around his neck and smile. “I miss you already.”
“Why?”
“Body heat.”
Lindsay and Marie stop their conversation to stare at us and giggle. I smile back at them and they pretend to ignore us. Hal is blushing.
“Believe me, the way this night is heating up, or not, I’m going to miss my Hal-sized oven too.”
He grins, kisses me again, and leaves. I shut the door and shiver, rubbing my arms. I miss Miami in winter. I miss wearing T-shirts to bed.
“How cold is it going to be?”
“It’ll drop into the twenties overnight,” Lindsay says.
I really miss my Hal-sized blanket now.
“So Candy, what’s it really like to date Uncle Hal?” Marie asks. “Mom said that you said that it was love at first sight—”
“Which is, like, soooo cool,” Lindsay swoons.
“Like Romeo and Juliet!” Marie finishes. “It’s so romantic.”
I smile. “I hope not. Romeo and Juliet ended up dead.”
“Well, yeah, ok, maybe Romeo and Juliet without the whole dead thing,” Lindsay says, frowning.
I laugh. Lindsay and Marie are typical teenagers so far.
“Your Uncle Hal is a wonderful man. Romantic, charming, smart, funny,—”
They’re giggling. “Uncle Hal?”
“Yes! What’s so funny?”
Marie wipes her eyes. “Mom says Uncle Hal is the slow one.” My smile drops. “Well, not slow but he’s always been gullible.”
“Yeah. Uncle Hal was always our favorite uncle to prank. He always fell for it,” Lindsay says.
“Really?” I’m not finding this funny but I start smiling again. “Why?”
“We could prank him at five! He always fell for our jokes.”
“You think he was really fooled? Or do you think he went along with it to make you smile?” They stare at me. I shrug. “Anyway, tell me the tricks you played on him. I’d love to know how he played along.”
The girls start telling me stories about Hal that make me love him even more. He’s such a wonderful man, willing to appear oblivious even to his nieces and nephew to make them laugh and smile.
But I think it’s time everyone learned that Henry Linden, my Hal, is not anyone’s joke. He’s not gullible. He’s not a fool.
—oOo—
Thanksgiving is cold and clear. Prep starts at five a.m. and by the time I’m dressed and ready, everyone’s already moving. Hal’s outside with his dad, rigging a setup to deep-fry turkeys. I watch from the doorway as three turkeys are lowered into the hot grease, but everyone appears to be OK.
“Hey.” I’m kissed softly. “Worried?”
“I know doing that is dangerous.” I’m still eyeing the turkeys, now frying in the hot grease.
He smiles. “Which is why I came up with a safer way to do it. My job is done, at least until those turkeys finish.”
“I guess I should go find out what my job is.” I head back inside and into the kitchen, where three generations of Linden women are attempting feed the impending Linden horde. My job is to set the table with Lindsay and Marie. Since I don’t have a set dish, there’s not much for me to do.
Mrs. Linden and Miss Mary have breakfast prep going and they present plenty of hot ham, egg, and cheese sandwiches on biscuits. Last time I had one from McDonald’s, I was sick for a full day. I look for Hal, who has disappeared. Miss Mary appears next to me.
“Henry said don’t eat it,” she says, taking it from me. “You can’t eat something, dear?”
“No, it’s not that.” I smile. “RangeMan diet. Last time I had one from McDonald’s, I was sick. I can’t eat too much fat anymore. It just makes me sick,” I whisper.
“Ah! Well, that explains why Henry’s cooking egg whites for you too.”
I love my darling boyfriend. Hal reappears with a plate of scrambled egg whites, dry toast, and half a grapefruit. Lauren and Kelsey peer at my plate.
“I think I ate that for three straight months when I first got pregnant,” Kelsey says, smiling.
Everyone looks at my plate then Hal’s as he sits next to me with the same thing. I blush. “No.”
“Are you sure?” Lauren asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Not a chance, sis,” Hal replies, passing me a glass of OJ.
“Absolutely none? 0.00%?” Chris asks with a smirk.
Hal takes a bite of his eggs and considers the question. “Well, we’re looking at 0.5% or less.”
“Failure rate on condoms is 2%,” Jonathan says. “Assuming they’re used correctly and consistently. Typical failure rate is 15%.”
Everyone looks at him. “How would you know?” Chris asks.
“Dad,” Jonathan says, rolling his eyes.
Hal smirks and the conversation shifts to Jonathan’s ‘disturbing’ condom knowledge.
“That conservative?” I whisper.
“Sex is for marriage only,” he replies.
“Do they really think you’re a virgin?”
“Everyone assumes I’m a virgin. Remember?”
I do. The guys know better now. I’m always the happiest person in the building after Hal and I make love and, after the first time I surprised Hal with a nooner in his office, the men realized that if Hal stays red for an hour, I’m probably responsible.
Hal smirks. “Exactly. I think it’s pretty clear that I’m not.”
I’m insulted for a minute before remembering that Hal answered the birth control question. Clearly we’re having sex and he isn’t ashamed to admit it.
—oOo—
Hal’s POV
Thanksgiving is a blur. So many family members greeting Candy, hugging me, eating, talking, laughing; it was great to have everyone back together again. I expected dinner to be at Gran’s, but she decided to hand over duties to Mom this year and the pressure was on, but Mom’s a general. Everything went just as smooth as always.
The texts from the other XOs start coming through late in the afternoon and I read them to Candy. Mark’s text comes through at the wrong time and it’s like he can’t take a hint, but I realize I’m not being fair to him so I apologize.
I hope Hector doesn’t kill him. Well, too fast.
The family laughs at my fellow XOs, which is great because Candy had finally fallen into a pit with them.
She cheers, loudly, for the University of Central Florida when they win their game. They’re playing in the Tostitos Bowl on New Year’s Day.
She didn’t know how much we hated them. She had no idea that watching her cheer for UCF while we watched Kansas get pummeled by KSU would open a vein of loathing for her in our family.
I should have warned her.
“Candace, up until this moment, you’ve damn near been the perfect woman,” Lan says. Kelsey pokes him, glaring. “For Hal. I meant that she’s the perfect woman for Hal.”
Candy smiles. “I know what you meant. What did I do?”
“UCF?” My father says. “We’re all observing a moment of silence for Kansas.”
“Oh.” Candy is quiet. My family turns to the TV, dejected, and after a few minutes, Candy leans over to me. “They do know that Kansas was expected to lose that game, right?”
“I love you, but that’s my alma mater. I’m ready to hurt you right now.”
Still, no one forgot that Candy was cheering for UCF. It got worse when her brothers called from Miami to cheer with her and, even though she left the room, the fact that she was the only happy person in the room annoyed everyone.
“She doesn’t have taste in football at all,” Lan mutters, playing with Kara.
“Questionable taste in men, too,” Chris says, sliding his gaze to me.
“Now, now,” Dad says. “Let’s not fault Candace for her poor taste in football teams. She does have excellent taste in men, Chris. It balances.” Candy grinned at him. “Instead, let’s discuss what we’re grateful for. Me? I’m grateful to see my entire family in my home, generations upon generations of Lindens all gathered together to remember that family comes first.” Everyone nods or lifts their glasses in agreement.
“For me, this is the true meaning of Thanksgiving. It’s a time to count your blessings and remember where you’ve come from and what you’ve endured. Just like the first men and women to celebrate Christmas with the Indians, it’s time to remember that enemies can become friends, disasters can contain miracles, and God is in control of the master plan.” Everyone nods and murmurs in agreement.
“You can’t count on much in life. The material things of the world fade away, but family?” Dad looks every person in the face. “Family is your anchor to the world. There’s five generations of family in this room right now because Lindens never abandon family.”
—oOo—
Candy’s POV
“That was stirring,” I whisper to Miss Mary. It really was. I felt a tear come to my eye.
“Good.” She smiles and pats my hand. “Honey, this is the first time in five years we’ve had a non-member at Thanksgiving.”
“Me?” She nods. “Why?” I’m mystified.
“Because Thanksgiving in this family is about family,” she says quietly. “It’s a family-only occasion. We might not meet for other holidays but we always meet for Thanksgiving. Everyone knows that they must come home and celebrate.”
“Wow . . . Is my being here a problem?”
She grins. “Only if you don’t intend to marry my grandson.”
I blush. “What?”
She glances at Hal, who is talking with Christine and one of his many cousins quietly. “Candace dear, Henry bringing you home for Thanksgiving is as good as him telling us he’s picked out a ring.”
—oOo—
Everyone talks about what they’ve been doing and their successes. I’m surprised by Hal’s announcement.
“So Hal, what have you done big this past year?” Mr. Linden asks.
He shrugs. “I’m doing well at work, Dad. Working hard.”
Wow. That’s it?
Mr. Linden nods. “Good. Good. Any chance for promotion or advancement?”
“I think I’m as high as I’m going to go for a while. I like my job.”
“Well, Hal, maybe you’ll get a promotion at some point,” Chris says. “If not, you and Candy could always come work for the business. We need a warehouse guy bad.”
There’s lots of agreement for this statement. “I need a warehouse supervisor bad,” one of the many cousins yells.
I’m staring around the room in disbelief. “He just got a promotion!” I turn to Hal. “Do they know what XO means?” I hiss.
Hal reddens and Mr. Linden puts his coffee cup down. “Maybe we don’t, Candace. Are you saying we’re missing something?”
I look around the room. “So Hal didn’t tell you that he was promoted in March? To Executive Officer aka General Manager of the Trenton Branch? Ranger promoted Hal into his position before he left on assignment!”
The room is silent. “Candy,” Hal moans.
“What?” He shakes his head. “What? Why wouldn’t you want your family to know that Ranger promoted you? And he and Tank told the guys to throw you the party where you and I met!”
Mary Linden leans forward. “Hal, that’s wonderful! Tell us more.”
I look around the room. Everyone looks surprised. I turn to Hal. He’s still red. “One moment.” I tug Hal out of the seat and into the kitchen.
“OK, tell me why you haven’t said anything.”
He sighs. “Because no matter what, my family makes a big joke about it.”
I cross my arms. “That’s it?” He nods. “Then leave it to me. What’s off-limits?”
“I trust you. Tell it as it is.”
We return to the living and I sit. “Well, since Hal clearly hasn’t told you, I will. Hal is the head of the most profitable branch of RangeMan, LLC and he moved it from dead last to first in five months. He unseated the man who’d been the most profitable XO for four years running in five months and he did it while Stephanie was poaching his men and moving them to other branches and poaching his leadership team, Ram and Manny, to go help other branches. Everyone is trying to catch Hal!” I grin. “Hal’s set a new standard. Between him and Mark, everyone wants to intern in their offices to learn how to be an XO.”
Jaws drop and eyes widen. I’m happy to see the family looking at Hal in shock and surprise.
“Hal?” Chris and Jessica start laughing. “Candy, we know you love him, but you don’t have to try to pull our legs like that,” Jessica says.
“Like what?”
The tone of my reply stops their laughs. “I mean, Hal unseating the number one office?” Chris grins. “How’d he do it? With dynamite?”
“By inspiring his men to capture an additional $80 million dollars in sales. By removing roadblocks, working with management to institute new procedures and processes, and consistently stating his vision and expectations and requiring compliance.” I smile. “That’s pretty good dynamite to me.”
The room is silent.
“He’s really first?” Lan asks.
“Yes. NYC and Atlanta are doing their best to unseat him but Hal’s been holding on to the title for three months.”
“Javi will get me soon,” Hal mutters. “NYC is pulling back multi-million dollar contracts. I think they’ll get me by Christmas.”
I smile. “Doesn’t matter. You tossed Mark first. Everyone’s been trying to do it for years, but the newest XO was the one to knock him from his perch.”
“How’d you do it, son?” Mr. Linden asks. Hal and his dad get into a detailed discussion and I smile. Everyone is interested and listening. I see Christine take out a notepad to take notes.
“So, you’re leveraging two new branch offices and working in conjunction with NYC?” Hal nods. “Making partners out of your rivals?” Christine muses. “Good idea . . .”
“I had to,” Hal replies. “We’re in a good area, but we can’t grow without traveling. NYC has great guys but we could handle other things better. Javi’s background is in business. He’s a numbers guy. I’m a people guy. We decided to join forces. I partner when I can and compete where I can’t.”
Over the next hour, I listen as my Hal finally starts telling his family about his business triumphs. Christine, Mr. Linden and Hal all bounce ideas back and forth while everyone else chimes in. Even a few of the older teenagers, like Lindsay, Marie, and Jonathan come in to listen.
“Hal, this is impressive, son,” Mr. Linden says. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
Hal is quiet. His ears are red. “I dunno, Dad.”
I snort. “I do.” All eyes swing to me. “Because Hal is considered the gullible one. The dumb one. He’s the baby so he’s the stupid one.” I look over at Chris and Jessica, who redden. “Hal’s not three or six, or even nine anymore. He’s 29.”
I stand. “He’s considered so trustworthy he’s the co-head of his boss’s security team. Not the other XOs. Hal, the man she once stunned, has point for her security. He’s the man the veteran XOs look to when there’s a tough decision to be made. His office is the one people want to come study because he took it over with an iron fist and has been running it like a champ. Men who once laughed at him snap to obey his orders. But why would Hal brag about his accomplishments? To his siblings, it’s just a joke.”
I grab our coffee mugs and walk into the kitchen in search of Mrs. Linden’s excellent hot chocolate.
—oOo—
Hal’s POV
I love my girlfriend.
I’ve never ever seen all five of my siblings so embarrassed all at once. None of them will look at me. Most of my cousins look embarrassed too. James, the one who yelled that he needed a warehouse supervisor, looks shocked.
“Henry?” Mom calls my name softly. “Is that why you don’t tell us about your good news?”
“Or downplay it?” Dad adds, frowning.
I shrug. “I’m used to it.”
“That’s not what your mother asked, Henry,” Dad says. I swallow hard. “Have you been holding back on telling us good news in your life because of what they’ll say?” he asks, motioning to my siblings.
I nod, red-faced. I’m just used to the jeers and the laughing. Nothing to be helped there. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and do better. It’s how I survived the Army and RangeMan, especially after Steph stunned me. A lifetime with my siblings means I have pretty thick skin.
“And me and your father?” Mom asks. “You think we’d laugh at you too?”
Ouch. That one’s harder. “I don’t think you’d laugh. I just didn’t think you’d believe me.” I shrug. “I told you I was named XO back in April and no one asked me what that meant. Candy told stories last night that made it clear that I was in charge of the branch and no one stopped to ask her where Ranger or Tank or Les or Bobby were when all the pranks were going on.”
Mom and Dad share a look and both redden. The room is silent. Candy returns with a mug of hot chocolate for me and one for herself and cuddles up next to me. I cover her with a blanket and wrap my arm around her. She’s asleep in minutes. No one’s said anything.
“I’m sorry, son.”
My head snaps up. My Dad looks contrite. I’ve never seen that look on his face in my direction.
“You’re right and so is Candy. You haven’t been given your due.” He looks troubled. “My son has the most successful branch of his company, is a leader and is seen as a leader, and I haven’t given him his due.” He swallows hard. “And it took his girlfriend pointing it out for me to see that.”
“Henry, we’re so sorry,” Mom mutters, tears running down her face. “I’m sorry you didn’t feel you could tell us about your triumphs.”
My mouth twists in a half smile. “It’s OK—”
“It’s not OK, son,” Dad says. “It’s not OK.”
Lindsay and Marie are poking each other. “I told you,” Marie hisses.
“Told you what?” Jessica asks.
Marie swallows hard. “Well, we were telling Candy about some of the tricks we used to play on Uncle Hal, Mom, and I told Lindsay later that I didn’t think Candy thought they were that funny.”
“And I said that I thought that she thought the tricks were funny, but she flinched every time we called Uncle Hal—” She shuts her mouth with a snap, remembering I’m in the room.
“Dumb. You called me dumb. Or gullible. Or some combination, right?” They nod, embarrassed. “Yeah, she wouldn’t have found that funny. The pranks she probably found hilarious, but Candy’s sensitive to name-calling.”
“Why?”
“That’s not something I want to share right now.”
Everyone nods and the conversation is quiet for a while. I turn to Lindsay.
“So Lin-girl, what are you grateful for?”
—oOo—
I agree to head to the warehouse with James, Christine and Dad the next day and take a look. Jess and Lauren join us and I point out a few things I see off the bat that are inefficient. I agree to spend Saturday giving the warehouse a thorough inspection.
“Where did you learn to do this, Hal?” Christine asks.
“Military. As a sapper, you have to learn to assess a situation in a moment. If you have to plant a bomb or build a bridge, you might only have a few minutes to make a decision. You have to spot inconsistencies fast. Use your instincts. Remember your basic training and be confident in what you know.” I smile at Christine.
We keep walking and I keep pointing out things I see. My big sister is peppering me with questions. At the end, Christine has four legal pad pages of things I pointed out and commented on. We have lunch in the warehouse and I greet the non-family men we have working for us. I talk with them and listen to what they have to say. At the end, I tell Christine that they need raises, or better benefits. Jess and Lauren stare.
“We have some of the highest wages in the area, Hal,” Lauren says.
“Yeah, but thanks to the health care law and the improved labor market around here, these guys have more options. You can’t replace them as easily.”
My sisters nod. I’m referring to the fact that after the immigration mandates went into effect, half the warehouse staff disappeared. The entire family had to pitch in until James could backfill the warehouse and they’re still short-staffed.
“Still, we can’t afford to raise wages right now,” Christine says.
“Does Jonathan work in the warehouse?”
“No,” she replies. “Taylor has him involved in soccer, football, Chess Club—”
“He needs to work.” We’ve all stopped in the office and I close the door behind me. “He needs to work in the family business now. Besides learning the value of a dollar, this is his heritage. If he chooses to come work for the family, he needs to start at the bottom like everyone else, but I’ll bet you that if he goes to college and comes home, he’ll want a job in management.”
Everyone’s quiet. That’s exactly what Chris did and he resented it when Dad made him start in the warehouse and work his way up. Taylor also expected to work in the family business as Chris’s assistant when she started and she too started at the bottom. I think they better start John-boy at the bottom now and make sure he understands: No one rises directly to the top of any business unless they own it.
I look at Jess. “Lindsay and Marie too.”
“What!”
“Yeah. If this is your heritage, regardless of how you feel about it, you need to work here. At least once. Everyone in the family needs to contribute to the legacy of Jan and Agnes Linden. We all did and it made us appreciate their struggle more.”
Dad smiles. My sisters look unconvinced.
“Hal’s right, girls. Your children need to start working here too. John-boy and Lindsay are now 15, old enough for work permits. Everything they’ve had in life has been because of the sacrifices our family has made over the years. Time for them to pitch in.”
“Yeah, but Daddy, I hated working in the warehouse as a kid,” Lauren whines. “I can just imagine Tyler’s complaints in a few years.”
“And what did working in a warehouse teach you?”
“That I didn’t want to work in a warehouse as an adult,” she mutters.
“Which meant?”
She sighs. “That I needed to get an education and get out of here.”
“Great job, sis.” I give her a thumbs up and she rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, well, I fell in love with Brent and I like negotiating with cattle ranchers.”
“Yeah, you get to indulge in your fantasy of sweaty cowboys,” Jess says. I fake gagging noises.
Lauren blushes. “Best of all worlds. Handsome husband and eye candy. So sue me.”
“When did you get so wise, baby brother?” Jessica asks.
I shrug. “My opinions. I’ve always had them. I guess this is just the first time you’ve ever asked.”
—oOo—
“I think you should hand the reins over to Christine, Dad.”
We’re in the truck headed home. Dad’s been quiet most of the day.
“Why?”
“Because Christine cares. She has a vision for what will help the business. She knows what needs to be done. She cared enough about my opinion to come to the warehouse today. Where’s Chris?”
Dad reddens. “He needed to hand the boys over to Taylor.”
“All day?”
Dad’s silent.
“Anyway, talking to Christine I get the feeling that Chris implements her ideas and takes credit.”
“Is that what Christine said?”
“Nope. She’s loyal but she can’t hide the looks of frustration, Dad. I got that idea from Chris. He calls her his ‘little idea factory’.”
Dad’s thumbs thrum the steering wheel. “Have you ever considered coming home to run this?”
I shrug. “Sometimes. If I really didn’t want to work for RangeMan anymore, but I like what I’m doing. I like my coworkers and I like what we do. I don’t want to work with family.”
Dad snorts. “I know that’s right. Headache and a half.”
We’re nearly home when Dad asks the question I’ve been avoiding. “You’ve done a great job sliding around Candace’s history, Henry, but I’m not fooled. What was she doing between the time she graduated college and when she started working at RangeMan?”
“That’s her history, Dad. I think you should ask her.”
“I’m asking you. You and she have used every trick in the book to avoid talking about it. There’s at least four years unaccounted for.” He parks outside the house and turns to me. “Your mother and I like her. She’s a good woman and it’s clear she loves you. She took on your whole family for you and forced us to start looking at you as a man. I’ve been both pleased and ashamed to see that she was right. My son is a man, a very smart man, and I’ve not given him his due.”
I bite my lip to keep the tears from falling. Praise from Dad is rare.
“You intend to marry her?” I nod. “Good. Candace will fight by your side for the rest of your life, but you assume that whatever you tell me will change my opinion of what I’ve seen. Is that it?”
“Yes, sir.”
He’s silent. Mom comes out onto the porch and he shakes his head. She mimics drinking and he looks at me. I shake my head and she goes back in the house.
“Tell me now. What’s her past?”
I say a quick prayer that Candy and I get through this. “She was a dancer, Dad.”
“What kind of dancer?”
“Topless.”
—oOo—
Dad and I sit in the truck and I explain everything. How she got into dancing, why she got out, and how she got her job at RangeMan. Dad doesn’t know how to respond, but his response matters to me. Not enough that I’d stop seeing Candy, but I want to know they still support me.
“A dancer?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Topless?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Is that how you met?”
“Yes, sir.” His face says ‘Explain’, so I tell him about my congratulations party. He laughs at the bit about Ram and Junior taking pics of my balls but he’s stoic through most of it.
“So all your men, those in leadership, have seen your woman practically naked?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And you really believe they respect her or you?”
“Yes, sir.” Dad’s face clearly says ‘Gullible idiot.’ I sigh. “When Steph offered her the job, she brought that up with me. She was willing to turn the job down if it was going to make problems for me.”
There’s a glimmer of respect on his face. “And you encouraged her to take the job?”
“Yes. My men in leadership also knew why she was stripping.” I tell him about the night in Candy’s apartment when she found out the truth about her sister’s deception. Dad’s face softens. “They know she’s a good woman and they admire that she was willing to strip to pay for her sister’s medical bills. It wasn’t the usual ‘I’m stripping for tuition’ excuse. This was real and backed up by evidence. She had a sick sister. She did what she had to for family.”
He’s quiet again. I’m hoping we go inside soon. Dad’s blasting the heat but I’m still cold.
“And now that she’s working at RangeMan?”
“I’m teased for being whipped.” Dad nods at me. “The men know Candy matters. She’s a RangeWoman and she’s my woman, but she’s earning her place in our group. There are things they’ll ask Candy that they won’t ask Steph or Ella because they know Candy is blunt and she’s not easily embarrassed. They like that about her and they accept her as another member of the team.”
“In spite of her background?”
I smile. “RangeMan has a lot of mottos, but one of the biggest is ‘Skills and abilities. We don’t care about your past. We care about your skills and abilities.'”
Dad nods and unlocks the doors. We walk in and Candy kisses me and hands me a cup of coffee. I pull her close.
“Cold!” She moans, shivering.
“I know, I know. You’re warm. Share.”
“I brought you coffee. Now you want my body heat?”
I pull her closer. “They know,” I whisper. It was our code phrase for her past. Candy stiffens and looks up at me. I smile. “It’ll be OK. Just Dad.”
She glances over. Dad’s watching us and he smiles at her and raises his cup in silent salute. She gives him a trembling smile back. We stand in the kitchen for a few minutes, until I warm up, before Candy mutters she’s gonna sit in the living room. Dad walks over.
“I assume you’ve been thinking about a ring?”
“I’m waiting to meet her dad first, to ask his permission, but I’m ready.”
—oOo—
Candy’s POV
We’re sitting around the wood fire in the living room trying to warm up. The Lindens live in an honest-to-God farmhouse, built in the late 1800s and expanded almost every generation. I never expected anything like this and it’s intimidating.
Hal’s never lied to me. His family is close, very close and very supportive. It’s almost stifling how interested (nosy) they are. I’ve met multiple family members and long-time family friends during this trip. There’s always people walking in and out of this house and everyone is welcome. Everywhere we go, someone knows Hal or he spots someone he knows.
I’m trying to imagine the Lindens meeting my family. I’m not ashamed of my family, but . . . this kind of All-American Mom and apple pie situation is just so weird. I pinch myself every so often to make sure I didn’t land in a real-life Pleasantville. Hal’s parents are successful agriculture distributors. I got a tour this morning, bundled up in my warmest clothes. It’s been in the family for four generations, a source of family pride, and they’ve worked hard to maintain the family business.
Four generations? Hal can count his family back to his German immigrant ancestors. I (barely) know my grandparents.
Hal enjoyed telling me about the history of the family business and how he’d worked there as a kid until he left for college. Only Hal and Lan don’t work for the business now. Almost everyone else, cousins and second cousins included, works for the business. Jessica and Lauren met their husbands through the business and Mr. and Mrs. Linden met through the business.
It’s expected that Chris will take it over but, listening to everyone talk, it’s clear to me that Christine should really take over. She’s the one with the knowledge and the interest. Jessica and Lauren also work in the business and, between them, they could carry it forward and expand it. Chris just expects to be handed everything and Mr. Linden wants it to ‘stay in the family’, as if Christine isn’t family. I see her face when her dad says that; she’s clearly pissed by the insinuation that just because she’s a Baker she’s not a Linden anymore. Not that Chris hasn’t worked hard, but Christine sounds like she knows what needs to happen to help the business last another century.
Hal and I decide to travel into Topeka and stay overnight. We hit a mall first so I can shop for warmer clothes and Hal playfully moans about getting a bigger apartment so I have more closets.
I make a trip to Victoria’s Secret just for him. After that, he follows me around the mall happily.
“We don’t have to spend the entire time with family,” he says, taking my hand. I love that he likes to hold hands with me. “I want to show you my alma mater and spend time with my cousins, and if you have anything you want to see, just tell me.”
“I know.” I hug his arm as we walk through the mall. “I know.” We watch a movie, have a wonderful dinner, and look around. I like Kansas.
Hal spends the night reminding me that he loves me. Deeply. Vigorously. Fully.
—oOo—
Hal’s POV
We leave early Monday morning. Candy exhales the moment the plane is in the air.
“That wasn’t so bad.”
I nod. My parents like her, Gran loves her, my siblings think she has bad taste in football teams. Overall, not bad. I kiss her hand. “We survived round one. Believe me, Christine is searching the public record for information about you right now.”
She slumps in the seat. “Cassie. The gift that keeps on giving.”
It’s wrong. I know it’s wrong, but a vision of Cassie’s unhappy face flashes in my mind, followed quickly by Mrs. Monroe’s tits.
Breasts. Her huge, augmented breasts.
I shudder and look over at Candy. Everything’s natural, thank God.
I’m going to need a lot of sex to forget that.
