Chapter 59.5: We Woo, Part I

Ram’s POV—Sunday Afternoon

I’ve had it. I’ve been staring at this computer for four hours now, moving stuff around, cataloging it, trying to get the Trenton RangeWorld ready for deployment. My butt is numb. Time to move.

I pull up Fandango and check out the movie listings. Great! A superhero movie is in theatres and it’s one I’ve wanted to see for a while. I hop up and stretch then check my wallet. Yup. We’re good.

My moves are gaining attention.

“Ram?” Bobby asks, frowning.

“I’ve had it, sir,” I reply, smiling. “If I look at that screen for one more minute today I’m going to scream. Time for something new.”

Everyone looks at me, confused. I turn to Steph.

“Steph, may I have the pleasure of your company at the movies? There’s some good ones starting in 45 minutes, if you’re interested.”

Steph grins. “Great idea, Ram!” She pops upstairs and I smile, smug, and follow her upstairs. I pop into my bedroom and look for my sneakers and a light jacket. I turn to find Adam and Bobby in the room with me.

“Executing the list?” Adam asks, smiling.

“Had not thought of it, but yeah, I guess you can check this off.“

Bobby looks confused, so we give him the quick rundown. He grins.

“I’m impressed. I’ll coordinate with the guys and we’ll do what we can from our end.” Bobby high fives me and I run over to Steph’s room. Gotta bust her bubble real fast.

“Steph?”

She’s pulling on shoes and looking for a jacket. I see she spent her time changing and applying makeup. See, this is the stuff about women I’ll never understand. We’ll be in the dark the majority of the time!

“What’s up, Ram?” She’s found the jacket and is looking at me, excited.

“I’m sorry to do this to you, but I’ve got to bust your bubble now.” Her smile drops. “I’m giving you a choice.”

She attempts to raise an eyebrow and I grin and shake my head. She pouts. “What’s the choice?”

“Popcorn and soda at the theater or a small ice cream cone on the boardwalk later.”

She looks confused. “What kind of choice is that? Popcorn and soda are a part of the movie experience, Ram. You have to have them!”

I shake my head. “A medium popcorn and soda racks up at 1200-1400 calories. For a woman of your size, and I’m not even going to attempt to guess your weight,” she grins, “that’s ½ to 2/3 the calories you should have all day. Add extra butter and we’re talking some serious cardio to work it off.”

Steph’s shoulders slump. “So I can’t have popcorn?”

I smile. “You can have it. Just be prepared to have Bobby drag you out of bed and make you run for three straight hours.” Her face looks horrified. “Exactly. Look, I love the movies. I go all the time in Trenton. It’s my guilty pleasure, but I don’t eat anything there. That’s why I suggested the ice cream cone. We can have a small ice cream cone and walk the boardwalk later tonight. Nice way to end the day.”

I smile and watch her consider it. “Any flavor I want?”

I nod. “Any flavor. One scoop.” She scowls and I grin. “Again, it’s a cardio thing. I know my boss. He won’t mind being the task master.”

“I thought Sunday was supposed to be the off-day,” she grumbles.

“From exercise. Diet? Nah. Diet is eternal.”

She laughs and, finally, she nods. “OK. Small ice cream cone on the boardwalk.” She sighs. “Now what am I going to do with my hands during this movie?”

I grin. Thumb wars?

---

Somehow, my invitation was reinterpreted to be a group thing, which made me grumble. The guys decide to see the superhero movie I want to see and I end up sitting through a rom-com. Why did I give Steph the option? She laughs at me at the end of it.

“Enjoy it?”

“It ranks with getting my wisdom teeth pulled. Not a horrible experience, but,” I shrug, “eh.”

Steph laughs. I steer us toward the boardwalk and right to Jenkinson’s, the arcade.

“Skee-ball?”

She grins deviously. “You’re going down.”

I smile. That’s what she thinks. An hour later, we stop and assess. Tie and my arm is tired. I grin. “OK, we’re tied and I’m not willing to concede defeat.”

“Me neither.” We look at each other and Steph grins. “Aquarium?”

Yes! “Good idea.” I grab her hand and we walk toward the aquarium. Steph is giggling beside me. “What?”

She smiles. “I might be the CO to everyone else, but to the Trenton RangeMen, I’m baby Stephanie to be pulled everywhere.” I stop and tilt my head. “You guys always grab my hand whenever we go anywhere, you and Hal especially. I find it hilarious.”

“Do I need to let go?”

She shakes her head. “Nah. I find it kinda cute.”

We keep walking and finally I turn to her. “We don’t mean it as a disrespect thing. We like you and have for a long time. For most of the men at Haywood, you’re the only non-family woman in our lives besides Ella. That makes you extra special, our little sister if you will.” Steph grins. “I dunno, I guess out in public, around strangers, we tend to think of you as both our little sister and the CO. We check for threats and prepare to take orders. We keep you close. We’re ready to beat up bad guys and bullies.” I grin. “We’re ready to leave Joyce in the Pine Barrens again.”

We both stop and laugh about that.

“If we do that again, every man at Haywood wants in on the action. They were impressed with your plan. ‘Diabolical’ was used often.” Steph’s collapsed against me in giggles. I take her hand again and start walking toward the aquarium. I pay in tickets and we start walking around.

We enjoy looking at the fish and I’m thinking about what she said. “Steph?” She looks over. “We love having you as a RangeWoman. We really do. Every man in Trenton was thrilled.”

She smiles. “I remember. Junior looked as if he would break into song.”

I consider that and double over laughing. “Nah, not a chance. But the reaction you saw that day? It was real. We’ve long wanted you in the company.”

“Why?” Steph looks at me seriously. “I’m a walking disaster. You’ve been bullet grazed twice with me. Men have been injured in my presence. I’m not around that often. So why was everyone so happy?”

I sober. “First off, I never again want to hear you call yourself a disaster. I mean that.” Steph looks at me wide eyed, but I hold her gaze until she nods. “You are not a disaster. Your luck is shit.” She laughs and I allow a small smile. “Your issues came from a lack of training. That’s it. For a bounty hunter with a hatred of guns and a dislike of exercise to have your record, the word ‘disaster’ never applies.”

I take her hand again and tug her to the next tank. She smiles.

“Second, you remind us of what’s important. Yeah, I’ve been injured twice with you, but that’s twice I’ve been able to prevent your death. For a sniper, that’s a new feeling. We shoot from a distance. It’s not personal. When we’re with you, the danger is real again. I have to pull out all my training, expect the unexpected, and remember not to be fooled by outward appearances.” I grin. “Watching Hal fall for your smile reminded every man that the enemy can be deceiving.”

Steph laughs. “I’m not the enemy.”

“No, you weren’t, but you were a distraction from the orders, from the assignment. The orders were to keep you safe. Hal forgot that sometimes the client is also the enemy, especially when they don’t see the threat. You reminded us all of that.”

We start walking again and I smile. “You are the best test of a new RangeMan in Trenton.” Steph looks over and I nod. “Each new RangeMan is ordered to guard you. The ones who can do it successfully, meaning without getting on your nerves, leaving you open to attack, or losing you, are hired. Until a new man manages that, they stay on supervision.”

Steph looks at me, bewildered. “They don’t hate me for that?”

I smirk. “The smart ones realize that there must be a deeper meaning to the assignment. They always pass. The stupid ones complain. They’re put under scrutiny and we bounce two out of five of them.” She attempts to raise an eyebrow again and I shake my head. She pouts. “The smart ones realize quickly that partnering and guarding you will require all their skills and abilities. Nothing is to be taken for granted. This is before we’ve even told them of your connection with Ranger or the branch. You’re the final assignment. Every man must pass.”

Steph sighs. “I still sound like a hassle and headache.”

“Talk to some of the new men. They already like you. Know why?” She shakes her head. “Because they’ve seen that you never give up. You’ll figure out a solution. Even better? Something’s going to happen when we’re out in the field with you. Sometimes it’s funny. Other times it’s dangerous. No matter what, you’re not to be harmed.”

We walk to the next tank and Steph smiles. “I’ve wondered what the guys think of me. You guys don’t talk much.”

I grin. “As a sniper and the former head of the monitoring unit, I’m accustomed to sitting in silence for hours on end. Being out in the field with you is fun. No matter what, you always got your skip.”

“I had to. It was my paycheck.”

I nod. “When Ranger first started ordering us to guard you, we grumbled. Silently.” I look at Steph, who is frowning. “We didn’t get it. It only took a few trips for us to get it. We thought we enjoyed action. Nah. Partnering you got us action.”

Steph laughs and we stand in front of the shark tank for a while, just enjoying each other’s company.

“Glad I could serve as entertainment,” she says softly.

I sigh. I knew I’d have to address this at some point. “Steph, you aren’t entertainment to us. Your situations are hilarious but you? By yourself, you aren’t that funny.” Again, she attempts to raise an eyebrow and I try not to laugh. “The definition of entertainment is something that holds the attention and interest of an audience or gives pleasure and delight. Operative word? Some thing and last I checked, you are definitely a person, not a thing. You’re not a circus sideshow. If your life was a circus, you’d be the Ringmaster, not the clown.”

We walk to the next tank quietly. I consider how to press this home. “There’s a difference between laughing at you and laughing at the situations you seem to find yourself in. Laughing at you is disrespectful of you as a person. It’s why the RangeMen have very little respect for Trenton PD. They laugh at you. They think it’s a joke. They bet on your life. If we could get away with it, we would break their legs. Slowly.”

I look over and Steph is nodding, subconsciously, I’m thinking.

“If you’ll notice, when we retell the stories of your personal escapades, we focus on the other players. We marvel at the insane methods they come up with to avoid being brought back into the system. We shake our heads at how you seem to lose cars, purses, handcuffs, guns,” I snort,

“damn near everything but you still get your skip, even with Lula’s ‘help’,” I finger quote this, which makes Steph smile, “and with Joyce dogging you all the way. We applaud your creativity and ingenuity in capturing them. We don’t consider you a joke. We consider you a colleague who has shit luck and finds herself in the middle of hilarious situations.

Best example lately? Joyce, the day you slipped her tail. You were out, minding your own business, and there she is, dogging you. Why? Who the hell knows. But watching you slip her was the best amusement Hal and Junior had had in weeks. Why? Because yet again, you showed that you’re smarter than she is. The situation was funny. You? Not you.”

Steph smiles. “Yeah, I remember Hal saying ‘great entertainment value in this’.” She looks at me and nods. “The situation I was in, not me directly.”

“Exactly.”

We haven’t stopped walking, but now Steph stops and looks at me. “Ram, thank you. Thank you for telling me that.” I nod. “When Ranger said you guys saw me as entertainment, I got mad but I shrugged it off. I just added you to the list, like the cops.”

I could body slam Ranger right now, if I weren’t certain that would lead to instant death.

“OK, first, Ranger has shit communication skills. I hope you’ve noticed.”

Steph blinks, eyes wide, then laughs. I guess that was funnier than I expected because she leans against me and laughs long and hard. She wipes her eyes and asks, “What’s your degree in?”

“Mass Comm. Minor in PR.”

“I thought so,” she grins. “You have a way of saying things that cuts right to the point.”

“Another reason I love my job. Right to the point, no extra words needed, required, or expected. And I should clarify here. Ranger gives orders. Anything else requires ESP and if you don’t have it, you have to ask questions. Clarity is not always his strong point.” Steph nods. “Second, Tank gave Ranger a concussion for saying that.”

Again, Steph stops and gapes. I nod. “He was pissed at Ranger, believe me, because he saw what we all later realized. Telling you that gave you even less of a reason to take your life seriously and that scared us.”

Steph nods and we exit the aquarium. I tug her toward the beach, earning a grin, and we pull off our shoes and admire the sun. As it sinks into the sea, Steph asks me a question I never expected.

“Ram? What do the RangeMen really think about my relationship with Joe and Ranger?”

This is worse than knowing I have a fellow sniper aiming at me. I think carefully about how to answer this.

“Steph, I’m going to answer this honestly, as a man who loves you and respects you. I mean no harm or hurt.” She nods and I pass her three handkerchiefs. They’ll be necessary. “I’m also going to give you our perspective, knowing that we’re missing a lot of details. Ranger doesn’t talk about,” I grasp around for a word then shrug, “his relationship, whatever you two have, with anyone except maybe Core Team. Maybe Tank knows the most of anyone.”

Steph nods. I hope I’ve laid a decent foundation.

“Honestly, we’re confused. I’ve never liked Morelli because he screams at you at your incident scenes. No matter how scared and upset we’ve been, we’ve never disrespected you in front of your fellow professionals, and the cops, firemen, and EMTs are your professional colleagues. That’s why we don’t respect him. We don’t like or respect the cops now because they bet on your life. They think your incidents are funny, but not like we do. They see all of it as a big joke. If we could get away with it, we’d break their legs, and I mean that.”

Steph’s eyes widen. I clench my jaw. I’m pissed just thinking about their lack of respect for her life.

“No one who would bet on your life is a friend. It shows no respect for you, your life, or the situation. What would they do if that accident was fatal?” Steph pales. “You aren’t a cop. You don’t get cop benefits. So what happens to that money? Are they going to buy flowers? Are they going to console your parents?” I snort. “Hypocrites. I can just see them telling ‘funny’ stories at the wake and never mentioning that one person won $1000 on that incident or someone else won $500. Because it wouldn’t be funny.”

The tears are flowing. I knew those handkerchiefs would be necessary. I sit quietly and give her some time to think about that. The next bit will probably surprise her.

“We hate that but we’re irritated with Ranger too.”

Steph looks honestly stunned.

“Seriously. You two are clearly in love. It’s obvious even to blind men. Everyone knows.” Steph is pale. “Ranger wrapped you in his name in the streets. You had full access to RangeMan, something no other person has. He loaned you cars and made it clear to any man that if you needed assistance, we should feel free to provide it. It would be covered.” Steph’s chewing on her lip. “We’re not stupid. We know that you know his secrets. We know you know more about him than anyone besides maybe Tank and that’s because Tank knows the Army stuff. We know he considers you his woman. We know to stay quiet and out of sight every time you and The Cop get back together.”

Steph’s looks up sharply. I nod.

“No man wants to be the unlucky fucker who earns mat time when you and Morelli reconcile. And honestly, that pisses us off. Why do you continue to run back to a man who doesn’t respect you? We give him credit for one thing and one thing only.” I look at Steph, who has tears running down her cheeks, but she’s listening. “He cares about your safety. It’s clear he does and we know that because he’s teamed with Ranger, a man we know he hates, to ensure it. For that reason alone, we continue to attempt to respect him professionally.

But personally? Why? Why do you keep going back? Being with him means giving up anything you want to do and becoming another ‘Burg clone, dinner on the table at 6 p.m., church on Sunday, little league and hockey games. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s crystal clear that you won’t be fulfilled doing that. So why?”

Steph says nothing, but the tears are flowing.

“Now with Ranger what irritates us is this: If you won’t make a move on a woman when you have an opening, quit playing with her. Problem is, we can’t blame him. How would Ranger know he has an opening? You and Joe make up and break up every other week and no man wants to be the rebound.

We don’t get it. They’ve both been clear about who they are. If you can’t live with either man, dump them both and find a new man. It’s insanity and they aren’t your only choices in Trenton. We don’t understand it. We love you. We love Ranger. We wish you’d both quit lying to each other and get together so we can all be one big happy family.”

Steph giggles and nods. So far, so good. I let out a breath and consider what else I need to cover. This is a golden opportunity to help my boss and my mentor get together, and if I can make that happen, in any small way, I will.

“We also knew that a big reason Ranger would never offer you anything more was because you don’t take your life seriously.” Her shoulders droop. “You are already his best known weakness. You’re the best known weakness of RangeMan Trenton. It’s why he goes overboard with the trackers and cameras and watching you. He didn’t want anything to happen to you. We’d all go insane. We have standing orders to protect you at all times and, knowing what I now know about RMTrenton’s finances, you were an expensive duty.”

Steph raises a hand. I clench my jaw and look out to the sea for a few minutes. I knew that would hurt but it had to be said. Better swing back to Ranger if she lets me talk again.

“Ok, go on,” Steph says quietly.

Whew! “Ranger has bad communication skills because his communication is limited to issuing orders. As a commander, Ranger is the best. His orders are clear and concise. I can march for days on his orders. You don’t respond to orders, and the Army has trained him and the rest of Leadership Core not to talk. Think about it. Les is the most talkative one of the group but he’s not that talkative.

So if you were hoping to get some kind of big heart to heart from him, some gushing statement of feelings, it’s not going to happen. Not easily, anyway. Think about the amount of talking all of RMTrenton does. We’ve all been trained to keep our mouths shut, regardless of whether we learned it on the streets or in the military. That’s how we know he loves you.”

I look at Steph, who looks confused. I smile and shake my head.

“Ranger, a man who is known for not being attached emotionally to anyone, put it out that you were his woman. He gave the world a chink in his armor at a time when you could easily get him killed because you wouldn’t train. You were tied to another man. You run to the aid of others without a credible extraction plan. By the time Julie was kidnapped, it was crystal clear what you meant to him because you were aware of Julie. All of the men at RMTrenton were stunned to learn Ranger had a daughter but you already knew. I would guess that you are the person who knows Ranger best in this world and that makes you a very powerful person. I’m guessing he never just said, ‘Stephanie, I’m worried about you. I’d like you to get some training and carry your gun and maybe we could talk about something more between us’?”

Steph snorts. “Are you kidding me?”

I snort. “Thought not. In any case, we all know the limitations for ourselves. The few married men in the branch, like Sybo and Vic, their wives know the deal. They don’t discuss RangeMan or what the guys do. The guys don’t discuss their jobs with their wives. But each of their wives has had defense and gun training.” Steph looks at me, wide eyed, and I nod. “Just in case. Being connected to RangeMan might make them targets. We could be wrong, but better safe than sorry. You’re the only person with a connection to RangeMan that didn’t have training. We’ve wanted to train you for years but Ranger said that it had to be your decision. There was an open invitation. Did you think we were going to kill you?”

“No, but I hate exercise and guns. You mean their wives agreed?” She looks thoughtful.

I nod. “Layla Diaz is also a Marine. She’s a teacher now but she understands the danger Sybo might be in. Nadia Zullick was harder to convince, but all it took was you getting kidnapped once and she got it. She started training the next day. That’s why we were so thrilled you agreed to be a RangeWoman for a year. We hoped that we would get a chance to show you how much we love you and that training didn’t have to hurt. It didn’t have to be boring. Working with you gives us a chance to be creative. Seeing you become the bad ass?” I grin. “Who else except our CO could catch a skip by opening a car door and slamming it into him?”

She laughs and leans against me. I grin and move the curls from my face.

“Hector told that story everywhere. We loved it and those are the kinds of stories we tell. Our CO is badass. We can’t wait for you to clear standards and start catching skips again. We’re thinking about opening a pool on how long it takes. Smallest number wins. Our pools involve monitor duty shifts.”

Steph howls with laughter. Monitor duty is hated. All Hal has to do is suggest it and everyone straightens up.

“That’s the kind of bets that are OK at RangeMan. Bets about how badass you are. Not bets where your life is in danger. Not bets that make a joke of your life. RangeMen have, as a whole, seen too much death to take it as a joke. It’s the biggest reason why every man, no matter how much he wants to deck Ranger, won’t. Because we understand.”

“Then Ram, explain it to me.” Steph looks serious and I stop and think about how to say this.

“Every man at Haywood dreads the day we get the call that we’re already too late. That you’re dead in a puddle somewhere. That you slipped your trackers and headed off to catch a skip without a gun or a stun gun and they got the best of you. We hate that.” I look at her and emphasize that. “We don’t understand. This is a dangerous profession. We don’t understand why you keep going after dangerous people without protection.” I clench my jaw. “Steph, please explain that to me.”

Steph looks out into the ocean. The moon is up.

“I don’t like guns. Guns mean death. My first capture, I got shot in the ass and had to kill a man.” Steph looks at me. I can see the tears and hear them in her voice. “I killed a man. It doesn’t matter that he tried to kill me. I took someone’s life. I’ve never forgotten the way Jimmy Alpha looked collapsed on the ground.”

I sit quietly and think about her statement. No can do, Stephanie.

“Can you kill me with a spoon?”

Steph looks confused. “No.”

“Wrong. You could easily kill me with a spoon. Stick it down my throat. I’m dead.” Steph stares at me. “A spoon on its own isn’t deadly. It’s the way you use it that makes it deadly.”

“Nice try, Ram, but a gun’s only purpose is to kill.”

“Or maim. Or simply as a threat. Same as a knife. You use a knife every day but you don’t see it as a deadly weapon. Perhaps you should. You know Hector is known for his use of knives.” Steph nods. “So is Les. Blades are deadly but Les and Hector still carry guns. They’re just known for their use of blades. That’s all we’re asking of you. Have the gun and be prepared to use it, but you don’t have to use it. Use your stun gun. Use your knees. But stop taking a smile to a gunfight.”

Steph leans against me and nods thoughtfully. My phone beeps.

Kidnapping my partner?

I snort. On the beach. Difficult talk. We’re OK.

It’s dark. Bring her home soon.

“Old woman,” I mutter.

Steph snorts. “Hector?”

“How did you know?”

“I know my partner. He worries.”

Understatement. I glance at my watch. 2157. OK, time to head back. Steph is drooping. I stand up and pull her to her feet, brushing sand off both of us. She grins sleepily. I take her hand and we walk slowly back to the rental. Hector is at the door. He gives me a quick glare.

“Stop, Hector.” She stops, thinks, then says, “Parar, Hector.” He raises an eyebrow and she turns to me. “I can’t come up with ‘I had a good time tonight so stop glaring’ fast enough. Help!”

I grin and repeat the sentence in Spanish to Hector, who rolls his eyes. He takes her hand and guides her up the stairs. I pop into my bedroom and slip into my sleep pants, then head back downstairs for a beer. I find Bobby in the sunroom, kicked back with a bottle of water. I sit on the other end of the couch.

“How’d it go?”

“Good. She had fun. We had a good talk.” He looks over at me and I nod. “I was able to clear up the ‘entertainment’ situation.”

Bobby grimaces and nods. “Good. Thank you.”

“And explain Ranger’s lack of communication skills.” Bobby raises an eyebrow. “The CCO gives orders. Anything else,” I shrug.

Bobby shakes his head. “I continue to marvel at your skills.”

I smile. “I’m hoping I’ve gotten her to see that the cops’ betting on her life isn’t funny.”

Bobby looks over at me. “Ram, if you manage that, you will officially go on my short list of men I admire.”

I grin. Bobby’s long been on mine. “Hector’s an old woman.”

“I dare you to tell him.”

I look at Bobby. Bobby looks at me. We both laugh.