What’s Going ON?
Burg POV
Month One
Stephanie Plum has disappeared inside the RangeMan building.
Now, normally, this isn’t cause for too much concern. Eddie, the bookie, updates the odds on the Morelli v. Mañoso pot, the cops update the internal cop pot, and we wait to see how everything will shake out in a week or two.
More interesting, at the moment, is the disappearance of Morelli and Mañoso.
Mañoso’s disappearance wasn’t that interesting at first. He disappears constantly, reappears when he wants, and has no Burg connections other than Stephanie, so we’re accustomed to getting a big fat ‘Fuck You’ from him.
Jerseyites can take a lot, but even for us, he’s rude.
It’s the reason we refuse to bet on him to win Stephanie. No sense of deference to our opinions. No sense of history, of pride in community. No sense of loyalty. He and his men have been here for 4 ½ years and he’s made a career of hauling us in. Yes, he also protects us, pays taxes, and provides jobs, but his building and office is an information black hole.
He’s also corrupted Stephanie. She’s a Burg girl and was weaned on gossip. She knows how the information channels run. She should be passing info on him as quickly as she can get it, but she’s tight-lipped about him. That’s disturbing. We know nothing about the man, so we don’t know how to respond to him.
He’s disappeared, probably off to do illegal things that only serve to frustrate and irritate the Trenton cops. He’ll reappear when he wants.
Morelli, however, is a hometown boy. Born and raised here, confirmed here, graduated from high school here. We know his movements. He’s a detective, a member of the community, a home (and dog) owner. A slice of apple pie and Americana all at once. Well, since he’s Italian, maybe more a cannoli and the Italian American Civil Rights League. Still, boys like Morelli are why we fought wars overseas. So he could fight wars here at home.
So . . . where did he disappear to?
It’s not right that no one knows where he’s disappeared to. He pulled a Mañoso on us. We don’t know when he left, where he went, what’s he’s doing or where he’s going. It’s not as if we’ll talk. This is the Burg! Secrets live and die here! You can tell the same secret to 20 people in the Burg and it will still stay within the Burg. Everyone knows who they shouldn’t tell gossip to. The entire Burg could know something and yet, if we don’t want it to be known, it won’t be known.
So why doesn’t anyone know what this big case he’s on is about?
Eddie Gazarra approaches Stephanie’s apartment cautiously. He only shows up here once or twice a year, preferring to stay in his office at Trenton PD and actually work. Besides, Steph’s apartment has been the scene of a lot of disturbing incidents. There are men in Trenton PD with PTSD as a result of a ‘Plum plea’.
Newbies quickly learn that a call to the apartment is never good. Exploding cars? Fine. Shots fired? OK. Calls to the apartment?
Pythons.
Big Dog and Carl have never forgotten. Carl got rid of his snakeskin boots after that. They don’t want to discuss the tarantulas.
Gazarra stiffens his spine, says a quick prayer that no one’s home, and knocks.
“One minute.”
He slumps. Even worse. Edna Mazur. That means he’ll leave knowing she wanted to pinch him but she won’t because he’s family. It’s his only saving grace.
The door opens and he quickly plasters on a smile. “Hi, Mrs. Mazur.”
“Eddie, we’re family. It’s Edna. Whatcha need?”
“I’m looking for Stephanie. I need to finish this incident report.” The detectives drew straws and he lost. That’s the only reason he’s there.
Edna frowns. “She’s at RangeMan. You know that.”
“They screen her calls. Everything from Trenton PD is sent to Hal Linden.”
Edna rolls her eyes. “You tell him what you want?”
“Yeah.”
“What did he say?”
“He’ll call us back.”
Edna shrugs. “Well, that’s that. Stephie is on bed rest, you know. If Ranger told them to make sure she rested, they’ll make certain that she rests.”
Eddie’s shoulders slump. He was hoping Edna would take the hint.
“Any chance you might call her and tell her to call me? We want to get this report filed. After all, she won’t get the insurance check until she has this.”
Edna looks at Eddie in pity. “You really think that hunk of metal she was driving had more than the bare minimum on it?”
At this, Eddie smiles mentally. Steph’s lack of insurance on those hulks is also legendary. She’ll get nothing from the insurance company. “I really just want to get this filed and off my desk.”
Edna shrugs. “I’ll call her. Doesn’t mean you’ll get her any faster.”
The press release from RangeMan was astonishing. No one knew how to respond except Eddie the bookie, who updated odds in Mañoso’s favor and hoped to hell Steph didn’t choose him. He’d be out tens of thousands if Mañoso won.
Around the Burg, the reaction was the same: Why?
Stephanie is a nice girl and she comes from a good family, but she’s no RangeMan. She doesn’t have their skills. She was fired when she worked in a corporate job (we choose to ignore the Mob angle. The Mob is connected to almost every business in New Jersey). She’s not scary or menacing, but Ranger left her in charge of his company?
How long has she been sleeping with him?
Bella Morelli feels humiliated on Joseph’s behalf. She always knew that Stephanie was a tart. Now here’s the proof. Sunny, Joe’s godfather, might feel that Joseph owes Stephanie his name, but Stephanie was a slut then and she’s a slut now. Joseph is too good for her. Now she’s sleeping with the Latino hood instead of settling down and making babies with her Joseph. This is embarrassing. What on earth did Helen Plum raise?
Personally, Angie feels the same but she keeps her head up and her mouth closed. Joseph’s choice. She has no idea what’s going on in their relationship. She does hope, however, that Joseph puts his foot down in regards to the RangeMen, all of them, when he and Stephanie get married. Ranger and his men cannot be a presence in the Morelli household.
Up and down the streets of the Burg, the thoughts are all similar: Stephanie’s been sleeping with Ranger the entire time. There’s no other reason for Ranger to put Stephanie in charge.
Poor Joseph.
Just his luck. It’s April 1, April Fool’s Day, and Steph has time to talk. Gazarra heads to RangeMan and waits in the lobby.
“Hey, Eddie!” Steph looks tired and she’s in a wheelchair, but she has a smile on her face at the sight of him.
She’s also escorted by Hector Gutierrez.
The sight of him terrifies Gazarra. He wants to take Stephanie by the arms and escort her out of the building, away from a serial killer, but he knows he can’t. If rumor holds, he would be dead before the sun came back up. So he watches their interactions. Gutierrez sees him as a threat and is clearly dying to dare him to touch Stephanie.
Well, Steph is still family. So, killer or not, he’s hugging his cousin-by-marriage.
“Hey, Steph!” OK, so he’s not trying to notice, but Steph smells like something expensive and clean. Sharp. It’s a good scent on her.
“Eddie! What’s up?”
“I pulled the Thomas Mann case.” Steph frowns. “He’s back in custody and looking at six months at least.”
“That’s all?”
“Charges were dropped. No one will testify. Anyway, I need to finish off your statement.”
Steph waves for him to follow her. Gazarra ends up between Gutierrez and Steph. Normally, this would be seen as an unforgiveable lapse, to leave his partner’s back wide open, but Gutierrez doesn’t follow standard rules. Gazarra knows better. Gutierrez is subtly threatening him, so Gazarra keeps his hands in view at all times.
They end up on the third floor in a conference room. Steph slowly details what happened that day, signs the paperwork and smiles. “How’s Shirley?”
“Wondering if and when you’ll come see her.” He smiles. “We could use a night out.”
Steph laughs. “Wheelchair and, last I remember, you aren’t wheelchair friendly.”
“Damn.” He grins and they laugh. Gutierrez is sitting across from him, face blank, watching his every move. “So, we gonna see you any time soon?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I’m still trying to get a handle on the workload here.”
“Bad?” He’s concerned. Steph does look drawn and tired.
“Crushing,” she replies, smiling sadly. Gazarra stands, gives her a one-armed hug, nods at Gutierrez and walks out of the conference room. He’s immediately met by a RangeMan and shadowed all the way to the lobby, where he exits. He sits in his car, shaking, before driving back to Trenton PD.
It’s hard to feel like the face of law and order when you have a bunch of heavily armed mercenaries tracking your every movement.
Month Two
Trenton PD is confused. Apparently her partner is the serial killer, Gutierrez. He only speaks Spanish, but Helen says the partnership works.
Mañoso put a hit man at Stephanie’s back. Well, that’s good, Trenton PD thinks. No one would be stupid enough to try to attack her with Gutierrez at her back. Gazarra returned to the station still shaking slightly. Gutierrez has lost none of his fear factor in four years.
Hector is always where Stephanie is. They like each other. She shops, he carries bags. He has endless patience and she shows no fear of him. He even accompanied her to a Chippendale’s show and enjoyed himself. Well, he didn’t spend the entire night playing games on his phone like any other man would, according to the Burg spies who saw her, Mary Lou Stankovic, Connie Rosolli, and Lula Jackson in Philadelphia. They had fun. The killer seemed amused by the ladies.
Trenton PD does not understand this behavior.
He’s teaching her to defend herself. No one knows what she’s teaching him. Perhaps English? It would be nice to interview him without needing an interpreter. They charge by the quarter hour and Trenton PD is close to ordering the men to bring their own toilet paper again. Trenton PD is hoping against hope that Steph will let something slip that will solve the Trenton Massacre.
They know it was him. They just can’t fucking prove it. If it wasn’t him, then they’d have to look at Mañoso and they don’t want to do that.
Helen Plum adores the quiet man always at her daughter’s side. Hector Gutierrez is the only person she’s ever known, besides her father, who could control her mother. Edna finds him a challenge and it’s kept her out of any other mischief for weeks. It’s been a relief not to accompany Edna to viewings at Stiva’s. Peter Clifford is actually speaking to her again.
Edna Mazur spends hours at the Clip and Curl looking for ways to get him back. So far, they’ve learned that he did something, threatened her in Spanish, and she’s looking for payback. Trenton PD is utterly confused by this. The profile for this man says he should have killed her, relationship to Stephanie or not. He killed others for far less, so why is Edna Mazur still alive?
They’re not saying they wouldn’t investigate. They’re simply promising a very very slow examination of the facts, in exchange for a favor.
They’ve been pinched too. They’re close to arresting her on harassment and battery charges.
The first bit of news in weeks! Stephanie was reportedly in Atlanta for two weeks. Her mother is crowing about how much the men there love her. Apparently they sent her home with ‘swag’. The military men said it means ‘scientific wild ass guess,’ but that sounded wrong. Everyone had to consult the 12-18 year olds to find out what that really meant. A new word in the Burg. We committed it to memory.
Helen Plum’s turnaround in favor of the RangeMen has been . . . odd. Before Stephanie started working there full-time, they were thugs, criminals, hooligans. Now, they’re polite, respectful young men with excellent manners. They appreciate her cooking. They send thank you notes. They send cigars to Frank Plum.
We’re intrigued. Husband material? Well, they are mostly single, handsome, and well-built. Maybe that’s why Helen Plum likes them so much. If Joseph and Stephanie really are off (his family says yes; Helen Plum doesn’t seem to care), then the RangeMen are suitable alternatives.
They’ll have to find another color besides black to wear on occasion to meet Burg standards. We’ve never seen any of them in a pair of jeans.
We wonder: Does Ranger Mañoso own jeans?
Stephanie was spotted with the really big white guy in a black SUV. This was noteworthy for a few reasons.
- She was driving.
- The white guy was familiar. No one knows his name but he shows up at her scenes pretty often.
- The Hispanic that’s supposed to be her partner was nowhere in sight.
- She was being chased by Joyce Barnhardt.
This is more behavior that confuses the Burg. Does she have a new partner? That would be understandable. Stephanie doesn’t know Spanish. How is she communicating with the other young man who is always with her? Plus, this new young man she’s with . . . well, we won’t say he’s not scary looking. He at least 6’2″ and built like a linebacker. He’s pure muscles (is this a requirement? Must be huge and scary to work at RangeMan?) and yet, he looks so innocent. It’s weird.
Stephanie made a few stops in Trenton before stopping in to see her perverted cousin. Vinnie bitches and moans, but he misses his disastrous little cousin. Her reputation actually made him money, not that he ever planned to give her a raise (Hey, her contract was clear cut! She was an independent contractor and she was allowed ten percent of the bond. She was getting everything she was gonna get!). People bonded themselves out with him just for the fun of being apprehended by the Bombshell Bounty Hunter. Now they know that she’s gone and he has a former cop running his bonds now.
The cop is not like the BBH. He gets you the first time.
Damn.
Watching Joyce Barnhardt chase her was odd. They don’t like each other, since before Orr v. Orr. So why trail her? What was the point? And they went up and down Route 1 only to end up right back at the bonds office.
Confusing.
Then another RangeMan showed up.
He wasn’t in a black SUV but he was still in black clothes and appeared to be heavily armed. He disappeared into Vinnie’s for a while. Joyce exited, then Stephanie and her new partner (we really need an answer to this question) left in their SUV.
The other RangeMan left in his car.
And we’re left with more questions than answers.
Robin Russell is standing in front of a smoldering wreck on US 1.
David Pickens’ car was firebombed.
The moment the call went out, half of Trenton PD raced to their cars. Finally! The Bombshell Bounty Hunter was back in action! The dispatcher even said that it was Vincent Plum’s BEA whose vehicle was on fire.
Well, nothing reported was inaccurate and they’ve responded to exactly what was called in: a firebombed car and an upset BEA 50 yards away.
“Shit, we thought we were gonna get the chick! Where’s she at? We did all this just to see her!”
Thanks for the statement, guys, Robin thinks to herself. That arson case is going to be a breeze now. Robin looks around at all the upset and unhappy officers standing around and walks over.
“For four years, I’ve watched you guys respond to these scenes and laugh,” she says quietly. “You passed around money. You made a big joke about it. You—”
“Aw come off it, Russell! It was all in good fun! She knew that.”
“IT’S NOT FUNNY!” Something in Robin Marie Russell breaks and she screams at her colleagues. “You think this shit’s a joke! I come here because I’m concerned about her. You come here to laugh at her. Well, I’m starting a pool back at the office. Let’s start a pool on how many times your wife is gonna kick you out this month. Whatcha think, Bianchi? It happens often enough for us to put money on it.”
The men wish she’d shut up. That was a low blow, using the man’s personal life against him. The officer pales.
Robin looks around. “How about I take every one of your humiliating, embarrassing moments and start a pool, huh? You think it’d still be funny? Or would you laugh to keep from getting in someone’s face?”
Robin stalks off, but she’s not fast enough to avoid hearing “OK, is Russell on the rag this week? She’s been a total bitch.” The men laugh, still stung, but at least that got her back for that bitchy comment. It was unfair. Steph always laughs at this stuff. If she’s OK with it, Russell needs to back off.
Robin gets in her car, leans back, and blows out a breath. She wants to cry but she can’t. She has enough difficulty at her job.
Stephanie Fucking Plum makes it so much harder for someone like her to be respected in her job. Steph is a joke, so women don’t need to be cops or work in law enforcement. They should stay at home and raise babies. Don’t try to do dangerous or difficult jobs. Let the men take care of that. Otherwise you’ll just be another Steph Plum, injured, burned, damn near buried alive.
A joke.
One Stephanie Plum is worth the 50 Robin Russells in Trenton PD. They’re sick of it. They hope the RangeMen are finally training her because they’re ready to beat the shit out of her. Stephanie has, inadvertently, cost three women promotions. They refuse to speak to her anymore. Sexism is alive and well in law enforcement, no matter how hard they fight, and having Stephanie Plum around does not make the argument any easier.
And the most fucked up part of the very existence of Stephanie Plum is the fact that her success rate is better than any cop in Trenton PD. She always solves the fucking case.
Month Three
We have a new concern. Both Morelli and Mañoso appear to have been replaced.
She goes nowhere without the Hispanic or the large white guy. We’ve been forced to learn names. The large white guy is Hal. He’s in charge of the branch and apparently he’s as kind as he appears. Cassandra, at the florist, loves him. He’s there weekly, ordering new bouquets for Stephanie to be delivered on Friday.
Is he attempting to date her in Joseph’s absence? There was talk of adding him to the book but Eddie wants confirmation that there’s an actual relationship there.
The Hispanic is Hector and apparently Hector also sends her bouquets. Every Wednesday.
It’s Morelli v. Mañoso all over again! One white, one Hispanic, and they’re both sending her flowers and escorting her places.
Which one is her partner? Or is there more going on?
We need answers! It’s impossible to make decisions about her life without knowing basic information!
We’re getting exhausted wondering what’s going on, and she’s the only Burg outlet. We can’t ask her because both men become extremely menacing whenever someone approaches her. We’re backing off. Mary Lou won’t pass information about her best friend and all Helen will say is that ‘both young men work with her. They’re in management too. Hector is her partner. Henry is the head of the branch.”
We are now officially afraid of who Stephanie Plum has become.
Joyce looks a wreck. The story she’s telling is that Stephanie kidnapped her and left her for dead in the middle of the Pine Barrens.
For the first time, we’re certain this is a lie. There are too many elements of the story that make absolutely no sense. First, what happened to her truck engine? You don’t just lose a truck engine and this is the second time it’s happened to her. She doesn’t have a sensible answer this time either.
Apparently Henry stole it. Again. An SUV engine? Unlikely.
Then there’s the fact that Stephanie is generally a kind girl. She’s not Joyce, perpetually stealing boyfriends and husbands. Every woman in the Burg lined up behind Stephanie on this one.
Joyce reappeared minus her wallet, cell phone, and any condoms. A heel on her stiletto boots was broken and her hair and nails were a mess. We want to tell Joyce that sex in the woods is OK as long as you don’t get caught. Sex in public is generally frowned on, but if you get frisky in the Pine Barrens, no one will say a word.
Just have a better excuse for why your partner left you.
She made a quick trip to Trenton PD when she returned and Robin Russell took her statement. Once Joyce admitted to following Stephanie of her own free will, Robin stopped the interview, telling her that if they continued Stephanie would have grounds to file a stalking complaint. Joyce continued so Robin filed the report and sent a note to RangeMan, suggesting that perhaps Stephanie might want to get that report reviewed by a lawyer.
Joyce poached one of Robin’s boyfriends too. Robin’s looking for payback.
Joyce didn’t like how the report turned out, so she found a more willing officer to listen to her, but once the statements were compared it was clear Joyce merely had an axe to grind. The cops put it in their file 13, pending further review.
Robin made sure it was reviewed by the custodians later that night. Her report stands as the official one.
Now, if it’s true that Stephanie was the mastermind behind some elaborate scheme to lure Joyce to the woods, strip her bare, and leave her for dead, well . . .
Good for her, but that’s scary.
Month Four
Stephanie has decided to work from the beach for six weeks. This is the first bit of information we’ve gotten lately that’s useful. It tells us a lot.
First, she rented a house. Now, we have no idea what they’re paying her, but renting a house in Point Pleasant (and still paying rent on her apartment for Edna) means they’re paying her a substantial amount.
Substantial as in six figures.
She’s become a lot more interesting to quite a few men in the Burg. Not that they’re looking for a rich girl. There’s just no reason to ignore one who happens to be single and from the Burg. Now, if they could just get her alone . . . but those RangeMen surrounding her mean that’s impossible.
Second, she must have some pull. No matter what job you do, you don’t just get to up and decamp to the beach unless you really do run things. So maybe she really is in charge. We’re still not sure. We’re waiting on news.
Finally! Valerie returned from beach with interesting news. Her sister really does run RangeMan. She’s in charge. And she doesn’t like being called the ‘new Ranger’. She’s not Ranger and she doesn’t want to be Ranger.
She intends to do as she pleases.
We roll our eyes. She’s forgotten where she’s from in four months. She’s a Burg girl. There’s no leaving the Burg behind. You take it with you wherever you go.
A week later the RangeMen completely ruin the book! Almost 100 of them enter the pot. They bet on the draw, so our assumptions about her relationships with Henry and Hector might be correct. The official bet is that she’s with neither Joseph nor Ranger, so it fits. Eddie still refuses to take bets on the possibility of new relationship and we finally got an answer why.
His nephew works for Trenton PD. Eddie’s heard about Hector’s reputation and just had a visit from a different RangeMan. This RangeMan knows how to calculate odds and he’s damn good at it. Eddie will pass on the possibility of a huge payday in favor of his life.
They threw it off by also betting for their boss. Now we’re confused, but one thing is clear.
Regardless of what Angie Morelli says, Joseph is a floater.
Julie Wisneski has the Burg gossip lines hot tonight. There was a Stephanie sighting! And she was with a child! Julie reports the child was around three, an adorable little boy with beautiful brown eyes and curly black hair.
Clearly Hispanic.
She said there was no denying it. The child adored her and she was at ease with him, so they’ve spent time together before. The little boy calls her ‘Angita’. We have no idea what that means. We check Spanish-English dictionaries and online translators. The closest we come is an Italian goddess, which makes no sense. Sophia Loren is an Italian goddess. Stephanie? Well, she’s a sweet girl but we guess she might count in the eyes of a three year old.
Stephanie said that the little boy was her training partner’s nephew, so the unofficial ‘Burg’ pot now swings in Hector’s favor. The official pot has nudged, yet again, toward Ranger. So now we’re thinking Stephanie has a thing for Hispanic men.
Poor Joseph. Perhaps he needs to tan a bit more and learn Spanish.
Month Five
The Burg has a snitch.
The RangeMen have been capturing fugitives with ease again. No one can hide from them. Even the most obscure spots are being raided. We knew Stephanie passed them information on occasion when she worked solo, but during the four months she’s been working for RangeMan, Burg fugitives have had a chance to breathe easy and relax. She was out of the gossip lines. She wasn’t passing the info over.
We thought Mary Lou might be involved, but it’s clear that she’s not.
We’ve carefully prepped our kids to ask questions of the Stankovic kids, but they either know nothing or they’re better liars than we believed. Their mom has a new computer, but there’s nothing RangeMan on it and they’re allowed to be on it.
We’re stymied. No security company on earth would allow that, so that can’t be it.
Mary Lou has been seen texting a few times but there are never any texts to RangeMan. She’s getting irritated with being asked so we’ve been passing her fake information, just as a test.
The RangeMen never fall for it.
Sigh. Who polices a neighborhood gossip line? Who can we call to make it fair again? Our gossip should not be used against us!
Month Six
Stephanie’s back! She and her friends got together for a night out on the town.
Neither Henry nor Hal accompanies her. Instead she’s accompanied by someone different. We overhear his name as they’re being seated. Woody. He starts to sit at a separate table to give Stephanie, Connie, Mary Lou and Lula some space to party, but the ladies invite him to join them. He declines and, ten minutes after they arrived, another man joins him. We recognize him. He arrested George Koslock. Woody looked relieved to see him.
The women have a good time at dinner and we hear the next stop is Lula’s apartment to help her pack. Lula is engaged and moving to Texas. Her ring is ginormous and Burg women are quietly jealous. Most of us got married so early we didn’t get a big ring, and we didn’t even get that big a ring on our anniversary. That’s at least $25,000 in platinum and diamonds on her finger, not to mention the tennis bracelet around her wrist. And the former prostitute is the one proudly holding her hand up.
Was it stolen? Pinched? Fenced? Does her new fiancé know about her past? We’re not saying we want to break up a happy engagement. We just feel that perhaps this poor deluded man should know everything about this woman. She’s not the kind of woman you shower with diamonds and platinum. Something smaller and less showy would be more appropriate.
Or maybe she earned that ring? That would make sense, given her former profession. Yes, she earned the ring. We take a sip of wine and swallow the nasty, jealous, hateful thoughts and immediately begin scheming to get a much larger ring. Something that makes it clear that gaining a ring like that comes from having lived morally upright lives.
Her friends haven’t gotten the memo. They toast her and her good fortune.
Stephanie announces that the men are mostly done with her training and she’s being tested starting Friday. She’s nervous but ready. We believe it. It takes us a moment to realize we haven’t seen Stephanie since she was zipping around town with Joyce following her. We do some quick math. Three months.
It shows. She’s fit and trim. She carries herself differently, with more confidence. She merely nods at us when she leaves.
No attempt to come get her messages or hear our concerns. Just a quick nod and she’s out of the door.
She might not want to be Ranger but that’s exactly who she’s become.
She’s become Ranger.
What happened to her in that building? What did they do? And how long will it take for Stephanie Plum to remember that she’s Burg?
She belongs to us and we aren’t letting go.
Louise Malinkowski has the Burg gossip lines hot tonight. Stephanie called asking about SIRS. We immediately hit our computers looking it up and there’s widespread debate over whether or not Louise said SARS or SIRS. Finally we confirm it’s SIRS and start reading.
Sepsis. Burg men shiver. They know what sepsis is. This sounds nasty.
Burg women immediately begin sanitizing anything they can get their hands on before the men quietly inform them that it’s an infection, a blood infection. Stephanie is extremely sick, so we start bombarding Helen Plum with commiseration calls (and we’d like to know more). Helen is confused so she calls Stephanie. Within minutes, the Burg has an update. Stephanie is fine. A friend of a friend has SIRS and Stephanie didn’t understand what she was reading online, so she called for an opinion. Her normal medic was unavailable.
OK. But that’s still nasty. We’ll believe it when we see her again.
All around the Burg, the opinion is the same: Stephanie Plum has forgotten who she is. She no longer escorts her grandmother to Stiva’s every week. She no longer shows up at her mother’s home weekly to eat and hear the latest gossip and news (and lecture). She’s no longer a solo bounty hunter and, working at RangeMan, we have no idea how she’s progressing in her job. RangeMan is a security company, so Helen cannot say anything about her performance other than ‘She’s doing fine’. Edna tells us to mind our own damn business (how rude!).
This worries us.
It’s impossible to make decisions about her life now because she doesn’t interact with us. The few times we see her in public, the RangeMen are immediately hostile to anyone approaching. They do a good job of ensuring that Stephanie never catches them at it, but they’re very good at forcing everyone to keep their distance.
This isn’t right.
This isn’t fair.
We have successfully managed the lives of thousands of young men and women in this community! It’s what keeps us strong and vibrant! Look at Valerie! Happily married to a lawyer, has three adorable (if rambunctious) little girls, and is pregnant with another little girl. Her life is settled and happy. Mary Lou is also a success story. Happily married for almost 15 years and three handsome boys to show for it.
Even Joseph’s family is a wonderful example of fidelity and trust in the Burg. Bella and Angie Morelli both mourn their husbands even after all these years and no one’s ever heard rumors of either lady dating another man. Cathy and her husband are happily married (no babies yet. We’re starting to get concerned) and Angelina and Tony are happily married. They might be more happily married if Tony’s (ahem) privates didn’t travel to more fertile ground so often, but they’re still together and happy.
There’s nothing wrong with the Burg way of life! It’s the backbone of America. Apple pie, Little League, church on Sunday.
If we had some sense of what she was doing, we would know how to more correctly match her with Joseph or some other Burg-approved young man. Mañoso is not Burg-approved, especially if he encourages the sort of behavior we’ve seen lately. Isolation from family and friends? Isolation from the community that raised and nurtured her? A focus on her career? Not that we’re saying that a career is a bad thing, because it’s not. We’re just acknowledging that America was built and sustained on a foundation of families and family should always come first. A career should be a distant second for a young healthy girl like Stephanie. Stephanie should be concerned about getting remarried and getting a family started. A career will always be there if she wants one.
Stephanie is Italian. She knows family comes first.
Or is this the Hungarian gypsy in her coming out? We rather hoped the gypsy in her would emerge late in life, like Edna. We get the feeling that Edna might have dumped Harry and tried to make it on her own if she had a chance.
Edna is the kind of woman who would have tossed her beret and her bra. Thank god Helen has more propriety.
This independence is worrisome. Stephanie needs to be reintroduced to the Burg soon so we can help her get her priorities in order.
A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people’s business. This minding of other people’s business expresses itself in gossip, snooping and meddling, and also in feverish interest in communal, national and racial affairs. In running away from ourselves we either fall on our neighbor’s shoulder or fly at his throat.
Erich Fromm
