Happy New Year! Unfortunately, this is where I announce that I’m taking a short break. I have to.

My Muse and I are fighting.

I’ve been publishing weekly, sometimes daily, since Valentine’s Day 2013. I’m not tapped out but I’m tired.

As a writer, especially a first time writer, one of the hardest things to do is ask people to trust your vision. I know, have known for months, where I was driving to at each point and I know that everyone is frustrated right now. I find that both scary and thrilling. Scary because I see how deeply I’m affecting peoples’ emotions and thrilling because everyone’s invested. They’re rooting for Steph. They’re rooting for a Babe HEA. They’re rooting for true love to win.

Me too! I’m rooting for true love to win too!

Lately I’ve tried to avoid the reviews, mostly because they’re draining me. My muse has been confused by the level of . . . not vitriol but something I’m picking up. It’s almost as if no one trusts me right now. That because RMSA is the scariest part of the story, you don’t trust me to treat all the characters equally.

I am treating them equally. I like Steph. I really do and I’ve found the Steph in me lately, which has made it much easier to write from her perspective.

Ironic.

I’m hurt most often by the label ‘Steph-bashing’. I don’t try to bash Steph. If anything, I’m a JE Basher and that’s a large part of my character exploration in A Long Time Coming—Steph version (not posted yet. I intended to post it after RMSA). JE took a character we all know and love and abandoned her. No growth, no change, no improvement. What she did to Lula and Edna? Criminal. Joe and Ranger? I don’t even want to go there. Not right now.

However, I try to write honestly from the perspective of other characters and, honestly, no one is an unending source of encouragement and support. Not even Hector and Ranger. It’s hard to write from the perspective of others now because it’s almost as if I dread the reviews to it. I can’t be honest sometimes. I can’t take the character where I want to (which means having to make adjustments later) because I know everyone will scream.

I don’t like lying to anyone. I don’t like dishonesty. So I have to stop and regroup. Reassess. I know where I was going. I know how I intended to get there but getting through RMSA has taken a toll on me. I have to stop before my Muse runs away for good.

So, what does this mean for you? I’m finishing out RMSA over the next few days. I’m working on some one-shots to tide you over. Not completely abandoning you. Also, within the story universe, Thanksgiving is coming up, as is Christmas and I don’t plan to spend forever getting through the holidays. So, I’m asking for your vote. I’ve completed two of the four Thanksgiving stories I had planned. I’ll let you vote on the stars of the final two. Also, I planned four stories for Christmas. Your vote will determine who I write those stories for also. Oddly enough, those requests get the juices going. The One-Shot list keeps my head churning out new ideas.

I’m also going to start working on my original fic. Just sketching out ideas and thinking.

I’m not abandoning this story. I made a vow to myself when I started that this story would finish. But I’m emotionally bruised right now, like Steph. I need time to regroup and reassess. Rediscover my faith in me and where I was going. I’ll be back, hopefully as good as new, in February. Keep an eye on the ‘Upcoming Chapters’ page on my site. That’ll let you know when I’m ready to pick up again.

Thank you for all the encouragement and support.

Victoria