I honestly have no idea what you guys might want to know about me so I thought I might answer random questions. If you have something you want to know, ask me!

1. What was your favorite food when you were a child?–Macaroni and Cheese. Still is.
2. What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod? Right now? (checking iTunes)
   1. In R&B–Mint Condition, You Send Me Swinging
   2. In Classical–Barcarole; at the moment, Ravel & Chopin are on heavy rotation.
3. What is one of your favorite quotes? LOL. Has my love of Machiavelli not shown through?

   1. “And it ought to be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things.” Niccolò Machiavelli

   2. Since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved because… love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails.–Machiavelli, Il Principio (The Prince)

   3. There is no avoiding war; it can only be postponed to the advantage of others. Machiavelli, Il Principio (The Prince)

   4. “It is a curious thing, Harry, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well.”–Albus Dumbledore

   5. “You’re not going to let her do this, are you?” Bones snorted. “Let her? Mate, if you think you can control a woman, you must be single—-and a thousand pounds says she beats your arse.” ― Jeaniene Frost, This Side of the Grave

   6. “There is always a choice.” “You mean I could choose certain death?” “A choice nevertheless, or perhaps an alternative. You see I believe in freedom. Not many people do, although they will of course protest otherwise. And no practical definition of freedom would be complete without the freedom to take the consequences. Indeed, it is the freedom upon which all the others are based.”― Terry Pratchett, Going Postal

   7. “Your truest friends are the ones who will stand by you in your darkest moments–because they’re willing to brave the shadows with you–and in your greatest moments–because they’re not afraid to let you shine.”

   8. “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”― Lady Gaga

4. What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity?
   1. Indoor: Sleeping
   2. Outdoor: Going back indoors. I live in Florida. Who wants to be outdoors?
5. What chore do you absolutely hate doing? Name one. It’s that one.
6. What is your favorite form of exercise? The one that doesn’t require sweat….Otherwise, I’m OK with ellipticals.
7. What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year?
   1. Day? 4AM. The only time I’m guaranteed to be asleep
   2. Day of the week? Friday. The endless possibilities of the weekend in front of me.
   3. Month? September. School’s back in session, the summer crowds are gone, the snowbirds haven’t arrived, and the travel delays finally start decreasing.
8. What’s your least favorite mode of transportation? Oddly enough, cars. I’m too impatient now. I can go from Tampa to NYC in 2 hours. It takes me 5 hours, in my car, to get from my house to my parents and that’s 1/3 the distance.
9. What is your favorite body part? I’ve always liked my mouth. I could be a lip model most days.
10. What sound do you love? My grandmother’s voice, when she isn’t scolding me for not visiting more often.

I guess I’ll start with how I tumbled into the Plum World.

Like so many of us, I started reading Janet Evanovich on a whim. I was in Lawrenceville, on a long term assignment, when someone mentioned a popular series set just south of us in Trenton. I shrugged; I had enough books to read but I picked up One for the Money on a whim.

Within a month, I was up to Twelve Sharp.

I don’t know when I stopped loving the series. I know I was done when Carl the Monkey was introduced. By Finger Lickin Fifteen I was disgusted. What happened to Lula? JE’s treatment of Lula left a horrible taste in my mouth. Grandma Edna?

Ranger. My heart wept for Ranger. What happened to the brilliant security expert? This man was a former US Army Ranger for heaven’s sake! The Army’s shock-and-awe soldier. Had Janet stopped doing the research? Did she not give a damn anymore?

Then there was Vordo.

I was done. I wasn’t buying another book. I refused to support foolishness. My favorite heroine had devolved from conflicted (and that was getting tired) to a ‘ho. For lack of better term. I didn’t respect her anymore. She never grew, she never learned, she continued to do stupid things that put her life in danger. Everyone around her accepted it. I didn’t; I put the books down. They were taking up space in my suitcase anyway and I need to travel light.

Then I heard about FanFiction.

At first, I was more interested in Harry Potter FanFic (huge HP fan here!) but I soon realized there was Plum FanFic! And it was good. Hell, some of it was great! Outstanding! Novel worthy!!!

I read everything I found. I followed certain authors, refreshing their stories every day. I turned into a fan girl. I marveled at their brillance.

I was sad I had none of their talent.

---

I read Adalind’s Consequences and found myself nodding with Tank.

Because she’s a selfish bitch, I thought to myself. Rangeman had done more than bleed money to protect Ms Stephanie Plum this time, and if I had anything to say about it, then it would be the last time we ever gave a damn about her safety too.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that her line of work is dangerous, but to have so little regard for her own safety makes me angry. I don’t leave the building without two guns, a knife and backup when I’m on the job. But Steph? Oh no, God forbid that she actually bothers to think about her own safety let alone anyone else’s for one fucking second.

She leaves her gun in her cookie jar and ends up in way over her head before she even realizes that she has a problem. And then what? Rangeman rides to the rescue – like today.

That touched me. The ease with which someone could die from Steph’s mistakes. And her steadfast insistence on making them.

I get it. I really do. Steph’s had a difficult childhood and tough circumstances but you know what? If you read the books, if you really read the books, you’ll see that so many of her problems are a result of her own rampant curiosity, lack of preparation, unwillingness to listen to anyone’s advice, and Jersey attitude.

“Any intelligent woman would have made a dignified retreat, but this was New Jersey, where dignity always runs a poor second to the pleasure of getting in someone’s face.”

I read the books. I own them all through 15. And I’m irritated by Steph. Fifteen books, no change. No interest in staying alive. Two men in her life that could teach her to shoot a gun and she still won’t carry. I don’t know about you, but getting shot in the ass once would change my mind about the gun.

I wrote chapter one of Change in the Wind in four hours from that. Just a combination of anger and irritation. At Steph, Ranger, Joe, and most of all, JE.

I wrote chapter three next. I wrote chapter four after that and I’d finally worked off the anger. I had a plan.

---

Like most things in my life, I started out with a simple idea and ended up over my head within weeks. In my line of work, we call it ‘scope creep’ but it was as if all these characters just started appearing in my living room, determined to have their say. The Plum world often acts as a bubble, a microcosm of the best and worst of JE’s America and, if that’s what she thinks the world is, she needs to get out more.

In my world, nothing is black and white. Everyone has motives and explanations. Lula immediately showed up, grateful someone was willing to rescue her from the the characterization JE seemed eager to force on her. She quickly ate me out of house and home and reminded me that she’d survived years on the streets and survived a brutal attack from a homicidal boxer and killer. She was a survivor, not an idiot and I agreed.

Tank showed up soon after, wondering why we bonded so fast. I won’t lie; I was tempted to steal Tank from Lula but the look on Lula’s face had me switching my attentions to Bobby.

He still looks nervous about being around me. I think he knows I have plans for him.

Les showed up next and I realized what was going on. This was the advance team. They were checking ground conditions. So I started writing a chapter not-so-friendly to our favorite hero and he appeared behind me, like smoke, to encourage me to change my characterization. I smiled and welcomed him.

He’s disturbed that my diet tends toward Steph than him.

Ram, Manny, and Hal showed up with Joe in tow. They were glaring at him; he was grateful I wasn’t writing him as some child abusing rapist and molester. He too was welcome, but there were just too many RangeMen around for him. He and I meet in secret to write his chapters.

Ram and Manny wanted more face time and Hal, especially, wanted me to rewrite his characterization as ‘dumb as a sack of rocks’. He’s still upset Steph thought of him like that. After all, he was the one who was stunned and nearly lost his job.

He still wants me to make her serve mat time with Tank for that.

Steph showed up next. She knew I was angry with her. She sat quietly and didn’t say a word. I’m not Lula; I’ll tell her exactly where to get off. So she wait to see how I would treat her. I wrote Chapter two looking at the pitiful expression on her face. Yeah, she’s the architect of so many of her own damn problems but she tries hard. She really tries to do the right things and stuff just happens to her.

We’re OK now but she knows that childish stuff is over with me. She will grow up with me. I’m not having it.

By the time the RangeMen XOs showed up, I was out of food, toliet paper, and I’d lost control. I’m still waiting for these people to leave my home. I can’t sleep at night with them around.