Chapter 10: MY Motivations aren’t the same as Yours
Ranger’s POV
I don’t believe it. She’s willing to make the changes. She’s giving Hal the authority over her safety. She’s negotiating to work her way up to RangeMan standards. Lester is a fucking genius and I need to buy Hal a bottle of the best bubbly before I leave. When did he acquire those balls?
As I headed down to Tank’s apartment I was sure that I was going to have to cajole her into agreeing to the conditions. I was not looking forward to it. Being in my life, being part of my life, comes with risks and for the past four years I’ve been living a paradox. I don’t have time to babysit someone who won’t make the changes but I can’t leave her on her own because then she’ll end up over her head and dead.
I’d made a lot of plans, come up with different strategies to run to bring her to my side but they all required that I demand she change. They all demanded that I oversee her. They all demanded that I bully her into it and the last thing I want is to bully her into doing something for her own good. Just as I wanted her to choose me over the Cop of her own free will, I wanted her to choose to take her life seriously so I could start thinking about Someday.
Lester managed it. He herded her right into the trap and then left her to decide if it was worth it to her to do it. At first, I told Lester to modify his psy-op to get her out of my apartment. I didn’t want my apartment and my building to become her new revolving door. If she was there, she was going to be there to stay. The last thing I wanted was to be the Cop, watching her pack up her laundry basket and move out.
Regardless of what she told me two weeks ago, I’m not convinced that it’s over between her and the Cop. I don’t know why it’s off; she won’t tell me and not knowing why she declared it was over between them is killing me. Did he make some new demand that she was waffling on? Did he break it off because of this op? Idiot forgot he was chipped; I know he went to see her last weekend. So what’s really going on? I’ve never given her any hope that she should expect a relationship between us and all of a sudden she’s willing to take a chance on me changing my mind?
I need more information. I still think it was substitution that night but I wanted her too badly to let the opportunity go. At best, I think it was consent and partial substitution and I’ll move with that.
Lester thought I was the world’s biggest idiot. He’d done all this work to box her in and I was putting a major crimp in his plans. I’ll never admit it, not aloud anyway and definitely not to him, but Lester ran a better psy-op than I could. He has no fear and he had nothing to lose. I feared losing her permanently to the Cop; I had too much to lose. I’ve seen this too many times. I’ve watched her go back to him too many times.
So I capitulated; I’ll let Lester run his plan as he has it setup. Bobby sent Ram, Manny, and Hal to get their status reports and the video of the Linden-King fight for me to see so we had privacy for the discussion. I told Lester about our conversation two weeks ago and he looked thoughtful.
“So, you didn’t make any promises of anything more than a talk, a discussion, right?”
“Right.”
Bobby looked disgusted and took a seat.
“So we did all this work, all this talking, and in the end, if she agrees, she still isn’t doing this for herself. She’s doing it to have a shot at Ranger! She’s doing it in this hopes that she and Ranger can have a relationship! This isn’t what I signed on for Lester. I wanted her to do this for herself. I wanted the changes to be their own goal.”
Tank looked disappointed and resigned but Lester was grinning.
“Bobby, you still underestimate Steph. She’s not doing this for Ranger.” Bobby moved to speak and Lester raised his hand. “Seriously, she’ll agree because we believe in her and because it comes with the position of CO. Think about it. She and Ranger had this conversation two weeks ago. At no point in the past two weeks did she make any changes in her life that would encourage Ranger to seriously consider a relationship with her when he returned.
Knowing Steph, she probably thought she would just wait for Ranger’s return and then, when he mandated the diet and exercise and guns, then she would have to give in. She made absolutely no plans to change anything about her life so this isn’t about Ranger.”
We all considered that in light of what we know about Steph and, yet again, Lester appeared to be correct. Babe is a ‘put it off to the last minute’ sort of person. If it was about me, about having a relationship with me, she would have waited to make the changes when I returned. Yeah, if she does it now it won’t be about me. Bobby still wasn’t happy and Lester realized he needed to ensure that Bobby was on board.
“Bro, listen to me. Consider this operation like a fat person going on a diet.” Tank looked amused but he was listening closely, as was I. My cousin is the only person I know who loves analogies. “No fat person ever wants to go on a diet until it becomes a necessity, either health or appearance wise. And the goal of a diet is to get healthier but that’s rarely the individual’s goal. Their goal is to fit back into a dress or a pair of jeans or to get their blood pressure numbers down.”
This was resonating with Bobby so Lester continued. “Consider this op the diet. Our goal is Steph’s safety but it’s not her goal. She has two goals: run RangeMan and not embarrass herself by not meeting standards. The op will whittle her into shape and as we go on she’ll start to see the changes. She’ll enjoy not getting locked up by her own handcuffs and being able to catch skips in the first 500 yards. She’ll enjoy being allowed to do field-work again and not being chained to a desk. Ranger is just an added benefit, her motivation if you will, because it’s not like he’ll be around for the next year to see the effort she’s putting in or praise her for doing it. Once she sees the benefits, it will be damn near impossible to keep her from learning new things. It’s just that adopting the mindset and getting over the first few weeks is hell.”
“Are you sure about this?” Bobby asked, resigned. It’s the thing I love and hate most about Bobby; it there’s a hole in your plan, he will find it.
Lester shrugged. “It’s Steph.” We all considered this and shrugged. “No man can ever be sure about anything regarding her. It is the most likely scenario? Yeah, I think it is.” He looked at me. “If she makes the changes it will be because we put her in charge. It won’t be because you gave her a sliver of hope. But that sliver of hope will motivate her not to give up.”
I hope he’s right.
Lester thinks she’ll still be here in a year, ready to work it out, having made the changes and adopted the mindset that will be necessary to be a part of my life. I’m trusting that he’s right. I cannot go on the way I have and the guys have made it clear they won’t allow it. They haven’t gone so far as to say they’ll pull RangeMan support from her but it’s clear that Bobby and Tank expect to start charging her everytime she gets in over her head and we have to rescue her. They figure a few bills from us and she’ll get the point.
That will definitely break our friendship; these guys have had my back in the worst situations but I can’t let them bully my woman like that. They pointed out that as long as she’s between me and Morelli and I’m not getting it on the regular, she’s not really my woman.
Assholes. Like I need that reminder.
Well, let’s shove that into the back of my mind. Right now, I’m happy and I’m going to enjoy the moment. I have 75 minutes before I have to meet Tank on the mats.
“Babe.”
Steph looks disgruntled. “I want to make it clear: I’m not doing this because of you. I’m not doing this because of Hal or anyone else. I’m doing this because you believe in me and you’re leaving me in charge so I have to be the example. I’m doing this because RangeMan is ‘lead by example’. But I don’t have to like it and I don’t.”
Well, I’ll be damned. Lester is getting the Aston Martin. Hell, if this works out well, I might pop for a Lamborghini.
“Fine, Babe. I appreciate you making the gesture.” Dios, I couldn’t come up with anything better? I’m losing my touch. I pull her into my arms. “Bigger issue I want to talk to you about. I would like for you to stay here, on 7, for the next year.” I see the protest beginning and I move to cut it off; Lester’s instructions. “No, let me explain. If you are going to make the changes, then managing your diet and exercise will be easier if you live on site. That’s 30-60 minutes a day that you don’t lose in commute time and believe me, as CO it will make a difference.
Plus, Ella can help you with the diet over the next year and the sugar issue is easier to resolve by having her deliver your sugary treats up here for you to enjoy. I am asking that you never eat them on site anyplace other than 7. I saw part of the tape with Hal and Roger King and I see his concerns. I’ll discuss slipping you your sugary treats with Ella but if you are seen in public buying or eating them, and this includes Tasty Pastry and Cluck in a Bucket, you will lose face with the men.”
Her shoulders are drooping, but she nods. “Besides, the guys tell me that you’re letting Edna stay in your apartment until you’re mobile?” She nods, smiling. “I’m thinking you just gave your father the world’s biggest gift.” We laugh, knowing that Frank Plum is euphoric over the loss of Edna from his home.
“Problem.”
“Yes?”
“I can’t have any visitors up here.” I have no answer for that. I don’t want Lula and Connie in my apartment. And Granny Mazur is a hell no. Never. Not a chance. Mary Lou might not be so bad but why take the chance? Which is a shame because I’m feeling very friendly towards Mary Lou right now.
“I don’t know what to tell you on that one, Babe. This is my sanctuary in Trenton. I like your friends, but I don’t want them searching through my things in my home. Besides, you have so little privacy in your life, Babe. Why would you want to open this place up to everyone? Have you been to Connie’s home? To Lula’s?” I feel her shake her head against my chest. I thought not; they’re forever in her business but they keep their own shit locked up tight.
“For the next year, I want you to consider this our home.” I feel her nod against my chest. “Besides, this is part of being in my life. Sometimes there is isolation. I don’t want everyone knowing where and how to locate me. It keeps me safe from my enemies and not being able to share the location of our homes would be a reality for you. This is another reason I want you to stay here and try it and see if you are really ready to accept this. And I like the idea of knowing that you’re in my bed, in my apartment, waiting for me to come home.”
I drive this point home with a passionate kiss, carefully and gently moving my body over hers, mindful of her leg. The couch doesn’t give me enough room to maneuver, so I pick her up and carry her to my bed. I have a little over an hour. Not nearly enough time for me, but I’ve never been a selfish man. I strip her and lay her naked in the center of the bed, enjoying the sight of her body laid out in front of me. She’s already wet, looking at me with those gorgeous blue eyes, nipples straining to reach me.
“Babe, you have no idea how hard I got when Tank told me you were already here. I would have been here days ago had I known.” I strip and lie down next to her, enjoying the feel of her soft skin. This kiss is just a prelude, an appetizer, as I slide my hands over her body. This is better than any daydream; her arms and long legs are wrapped around me and I want more than her body is ready for. My fingers trail down her body and dip between her legs. “I was aroused when I walked in the door.” I can’t help myself; I slide two fingers inside and slowly begin to pump inside her body while licking and sucking her nipples, right then left. She’s moaning my name, arching her hips, driving me insane.
I’m not sending her back to the Cop this time; fuck him. I want to be inside her, but there’s not enough time. Fucking Tank! I speed up my fingers, add a third, and suck on her breasts. She’s grabbed me and she’s stroking me, wanting more than than I have time for. I’ve got to finish this; I refuse to cum before she does. I slide down her body, part her lips and lick the entire length of her slit before plunging my tongue deep inside. I slide my fingers back inside and pump her while sucking her clit. This is heaven, watching her eyes turn sapphire as she tries, and fails, to hold back her orgasm. I worry her clit with my teeth and it’s over. Her back lifts off the bed, she’s screaming my name and I’m licking the gush of warmth as quickly as I can. There’s nothing better. I need her leg to heal. I need to be inside her. I have 5 minutes to meet Tank.
I watch her come down from the orgasm. She’s trying to catch her breath and I’m trying not to look too smug. We’re both failing and I need to take care of myself before I meet Tank. “Babe. Stay here?”
“Yes, Ranger, I’ll stay here.” She looks at me with a sleepy grin, then slides down the bed. Oh Dios, sí!
Do I really need to meet Tank? I think I’ll let it pass.
It’s a miracle that I’m awake and dressed at 1300. I want to believe, I’m choosing to believe, that she’s actually chosen me and that I’m not the default because she and the Cop are over. She said that he told her that they wouldn’t be unless she proposed to him so I’m going to accept that. I’m not sending her back. I don’t want to make her any promises right now because I’ve already told her we’ll talk about this when the op is over but I’m hoping she feels my acceptance of her commitment, my love for her, in every stroke and every kiss. I’m promising nothing right now. I need to see that she will actually make the changes necessary for her safety. I need to know that she will keep her promise. I need to know that she’s coming to me of her own free will.
1300 arrives along with Tank, Lester, Bobby, Ram, Manny and Hal on 7. Ella brings sandwiches and snacks and leaves us to it. Ram has finally gotten some sleep and looks healthy again. Tank and Lester look both irritated and relieved. They better thank Babe and decide on relieved. It’s rare I don’t follow through on my promise of mat time but if I have to choose between my woman and those two. . . that doesn’t require thought. Besides, I’m grateful. This psy-op may bring me what I want most.
Each member of the Core team has brought his “bible” for handling duties. We distribute copies to the new Core and explain that this is only a guideline. Other offices have restructured the duties to meet their needs; we only require that all the duties are covered efficiently and effectively and that we know who is responsible for what. Manny and Hal look relieved; clearly they have plans to make some changes. The biggest set of guidelines is for Steph. Hal looks thrilled to discover that a lot of the work he was doing all week belongs to the CO; Steph doesn’t look nearly as thrilled.
“Oh My God Ranger! This is insane! How can any one person get through all this?”
Tank coughs into his hand. “He can’t.” Bobby and Lester laugh while I glare at him. It’s the never ending struggle between us; I duck paperwork as fast as he does then we fight to see who’s going to finish it. I usually win.
“Steph, I have some ideas for accomplishing some of this,” Hal says. I’m glad to see Hal step up. “A lot of the work could be streamlined and I think if we put the right processes into place we can make a lot of this flow easier.”
“Yeah, well, you two talk about that later. Let’s start discussing the financial picture. Gentlemen, and Babe, please understand that branch finances are not to be discussed with other branches. I’m sure you recognize that some of your fellow XOs are nosy bastards. This is your information. Keep it to yourself. Steph, we’ve already given you the deal on company finances and we’ll cover those separately with you later.”
We review the finances of RangeMan Trenton with Core Team Trenton and I can see the moment they figure out that we are barely operating in the black at this branch.
“I mean, this doesn’t make any sense!” Manny exclaims. “Apprehensions alone bring in millions of dollars! How can we be treading water here?”
The Core Team is quiet. We all know why. . . thanks to Tank. But it’s surprising who answers the question for him.
“Me. I’m the problem,” Babe says quietly. Ram, Manny, and Hal look over at her in surprise. “If you take the number of ‘situations’ I’ve had in the past year and put dollar amounts to them, you’ll see the red ink.” Ram leaves and returns with the Bomber file. The new Core Team looks at the monthly numbers and references them against Steph’s ‘incidents’ and, sure enough, there’s the missing money. They look at each other quietly then look at Steph. No one is quite sure what to say.
“I figured this out when I looked at the calendars you created, Hal. I’ve had time to come to terms with how much I’ve cost Ranger, RangeMan, and this branch and I’m sorry. It’s part of the reason why I gave you the authority over my security. I’ve already cost too much and I love this company and all the guys. I don’t want to be the reason they don’t have jobs. I have to be a part of fixing this.”
I love my woman.
Manny’s POV
Well, this is a. . . I don’t even know what to call it. We’re getting a branch that’s barely operating in the black and my instincts are telling me that there a bigger story here that I’m not going to get the answers to.
In all the time I’ve worked here, I’ve never once considered how much it costs when we rescue Wifey but I can see that she pretty damn expensive. This is an extremely profitable branch. Our range is from Philly to Newark and all points in between and yet Wifey’s ‘situations’ are bleeding us dry. How can one woman bleed a branch taking in more than $40 million dollars a year?
According to the projections, our share of the overall company reserves is $15 million, so that leaves $25 million dollars. The branch reserves, which are supposed to stay constant at 20%, i.e. $5 million, are fine but operating cash flow is barely holding on after salaries, insurance, cars, etc. Misericordioso Dios del cielo! (Merciful God in Heaven!). This explains why there was so much tension between members of the Core Team during the break-ins and is another reason Ranger was so desperate to get it solved quickly; with the branch already operating at the wire, the possibility of the break-ins being an inside job had to be frightening.
I’m reading back through the Bomber files, matching situations with dollar amounts. Hal passes Wifey a box of Kleenex while Ram grabs more sandwiches and water. He makes a call and soon after Ella arrives with a piece of chocolate cake. The core team smiles at this and Steph looks both happy and miserable. “I don’t see it. It’s Sunday. Diet starts tomorrow. Besides, I’m betting you didn’t tell Ranger that your Mom demanded your presence at dinner tonight, so you have a vat of gravy to look forward to anyway. You too, Bobby.” Ram smiles an evil smile as Ranger and Bobby both cringe.
“Yeah well, while you’re laughing, I told Mom to expect everyone here plus Zero for dinner tonight. No black. By the way, can you call him and tell him? No arguments.”
Everyone looks at her horrified. Why on earth would she do that?
“Mom loves Bobby.” Bobby shudders and cringes. “No, she liked you because ‘he’s honest and respectful and he knows the medical information. That’s who I want to talk to. I won’t yell at him.'” She mimics her mother’s voice and we laugh as Bobby shakes his head and smiles. “You’re her favorite RangeMan. ‘And he has a normal nickname’.” More laughter.
“But seriously, she knows Ranger, Tank, Lester, and Bobby and now that she’s grown accustomed to them and likes Bobby, it’s not going to be easy to tell her that for the next year I’m running the company and none of the people she’s accustomed to seeing with me are going to be here. I thought it would be best to get it over with in one night. Take the people she already knows along with the people who will be taking over and the new medic in charge here so she can ask all her questions at once. Otherwise, I’ll have to deal with constant questions about where all of you are and when you are going to show up to meet her and Dad.”
Bobby sighs. “Bomber, I hate to ask, but…”
“She’s having a get together with her friends in my apartment tonight. I told Mom not to breathe a word of our visit to her.” Every man in the room exhales. “If I spot Grandma, we leave.” Ram calls Zero and gives him the heads up. We can hear Zero asking about Granny Mazur.
“Thanks.”
“No problem. I still need an answer on what I’m supposed to tell her about your wanger, though. She asked every day.” Bobby cringes again as Tank and Lester laugh. The rest of us are confused.
“Believe me,” Tank says, “you don’t want to know.”
Finally, I’m done reviewing the file and I look at Wifey. “Steph, a quick look at the file shows that the most expensive ‘incidents’ happened when you were trying to gather intel on someone and were snatched and held. That’s when every man at the branch was out there trying to rescue you. That happened 6 times last year. The next most expensive happened when a RangeMan was hurt with you in the field. I’d have to review the reports but I’d take a guess that they were more concerned with assuring your safety than their own and were shot, punched, stunned, or otherwise subdued by the skip or whoever you were going after. That costs us in short-term disability, physical therapy time, workman’s comp claims, and contract workers. I see 9 of those incidents.”
I see Wifey cringing more and more. It’s adding up. Worse, most of these guys are from my department and I remember each incident in detail as I cross reference the month, the person, and the Bomber file. No wonder I’m always short-staffed. No need to give her that much detail though. She already feels guilty enough.
“I don’t want to make you feel bad Steph but basically these incidents come when you’re either out there on your own or when you’re trying to manage a takedown.” I smile and try to infuse my voice with some cheer. “But…you’ve already given us your promise that you would accept a RangeMan partner, so that’s settled. And part of your life for the next year is working on the skills necessary to become a total bad-ass. So I don’t see this as a continuing problem. Do you?” I clearly failed.
“I won’t be chained to a desk pushing paper for everyone else.”
“Damn,” Hal says. We all laugh.
“I never expected you would Steph. I didn’t even suggest it. What I am saying is that since you will have an official partner, probably Hal or me, and we’ll be working on your skills, I don’t expect this situation to continue. We’ll have this branch back in the black in no time.” We really will. Four months alone should do it and if I can convince Hal and Ram to run point with me to keep her out the field until her takedown skills are better, we should be able to keep her out the field for at least 6-8 months. Yeah, that’s how I’ll do it. RangeMan standards.
“So, here’s the deal. We’re working with you to meet RangeMan standards over the next few months. According to SOPs, each man in the field has to meet RangeMan standards before he can return to active duty in the field. As CO, you have to lead this charge. The moment you meet standards, you and I are out chasing skips. I’ll give you a pass on distractions because there aren’t any SOPs for that. We good?” I can’t grin, I can’t grin. I’ve got her cornered and she knows it.
This is the world’s longest silence and I will not break.
Steph’s POV
Manny has me cornered and I don’t see a possible way around it. I see how this is going to go. For the next few months the guys are going to throw “RangeMan Standards” in my face every moment because as CO I cannot be seen to break them. Bend yes, break no. Worse yet, I can’t rewrite them because that would be seen as writing them to favor myself. I have to meet them.
Damn Ranger. Damn his confidence in me. Damn Tank, Lester and Bobby. If they had not said please, I never would have agreed.
I hate Thomas Mann. If not for him I wouldn’t have a broken leg, I wouldn’t be chained to RangeMan and I would have choices. I don’t have any options right now. If I don’t come up with a way to work around this they’ll chain me to a desk. Problem is they’re absolutely right on the assessment. I wonder what those standards are based on?
“Agreed, Manny. The moment I meet standards I’m back out in the field.”
“Great! Besides, I don’t want to be stuck pushing paper either. Whatever you and Hal have in mind, get that going quick so we can all stay out in the field.”
We all laugh, but I’m still thinking about this standards thing. I’m betting they’re military standards and I know the military has different standards for women than for men. If they’re Special Forces standards, I might be screwed. I’m going to check on that. If RangeMan standards are based on male military standards, then there’s no conflict of interest in stating that I will meet female military standards. I’m still meeting military standards, just those for my sex.
I may have a solution here. It sucks as a solution, but it’s a start.
Tank continues to run down the financial picture for RangeMan Trenton. If you remove my ‘incidents’ from the picture, the branch is very healthy. The works is pretty diversified; personal body guarding, private investigations, bonds enforcement, client services (i.e. armed guards), and residential and commercial monitoring. He also reviews the daily agenda of work, noting each of the separate pulse checks and mandatory meetings.
I learn that the company headquarters is really based in Miami, for tax and business reasons. So the company accountants and lawyers are there. We have lawyers on retainer in every location and I’ll need to arrange for them to come meet with me here within the week. Each XO submits a weekly accounting report and branch status report to me on Wednesday for review and approval by Friday. Time sheets and payroll are every week and while each XO approves his own time sheets and payroll, checks aren’t issued until the CO or his designate give final approval.
None of this was on the calendars. This is just the work from Ranger and Tank; we haven’t even begun to cover what Lester and Bobby are responsible for and I’m beginning to see a snow job. The Core Team had a meeting at 7:00 AM every morning, but since I don’t have a Core Team, I don’t have this meeting, or so I think. Tank tells me that we will have that meeting so they can update me on the progress of the San Antonio office and give me any orders or information and if I need to tell them something, this would be the best time to tell them.
“Ranger, there’s no way that you and Tank were doing all this. It’s not possible for one person to do this on their own.” I want to cry from the amount of work I see in front of me. How in the hell did Ranger ever manage to get into the field with all this going on?
Ranger rubs my hands. “Sorry Babe, but it’s the truth. This is what Tank and I have every week. This is what keeps the company successful.”
RangeMan is successful and it’s now my job to ensure it remains successful. I’ve agreed to do this so I have to buckle down and get it done. I wonder what Hal has in mind to make this move easier but I know that getting the SharePoint site implemented will go on the top of my priority list. I need all the help I can get because I can see my day is going to run from 7AM to 7PM and my eyes are starting to cross from the amount of information I’m being presented.
I look around and see I’m not the only one. Ram, Manny, and Hal look like they need a break. It’s now 4:30 and I need time to get ready for dinner at Mom’s. Time to call this quits for the evening.
