Chapter 9: We Need to Talk
Ranger’s POV
Three hours later, I’m double-timing it up the stairs to my apartment. It’s just after 2200, so Babe shouldn’t be too asleep right now but if she is at least she’s in my bed and I can hold her. I walk into the apartment quietly and set down my keys. The suitcase is left outside the door, a silent signal to Ella that I’m here and I need clean clothes. I grab a bottle of water and walk to the bedroom.
Dios, this is what I want. Steph is laying across my bed, in my apartment, in my building, clutching my pillow. There are tear tracks down her beautiful face and she looks miserable. I watch as her nostrils flare and she lifts her head a little. Does she. . .yes, her hand moves to the back of her neck. I’ve been here for less than two minutes, but she’s already registered my presence.
“Ranger?” Her voice is scratchy with tears. Dios, Babe, I’m here. I’m here. I move to the bed and kiss her gently. Her eyes open and I’m lost in an ocean of blue. “I need to talk to you.”
“Ok. Let me take a shower first. You hungry?”
“No, but Ella left something for you in the fridge. I’ll go heat it.”
“No you won’t. The guys told me you fractured your leg. I’ll heat my dinner. You stay where you are.”
It’s a relatively long shower for me, mostly because I need to relieve some pressure. I’ve been aroused for about 5 hours, ever since Tank told me she was in my bed. Tension gone, I retrieve and heat Ella’s meal. Beef tips with gravy, couscous and broccoli. Ella knows I don’t eat a lot of red meat or gravy but I’m too tired to argue. I take the meal into the bedroom, where the very sight of it makes Steph smile broadly.
“What’s wrong Ranger?”
“I’m trying to figure out why Ella would leave me this meal. She knows I don’t eat a lot of red meat and I’m not a gravy person. Especially not when I’m coming in late at night.” I’m too hungry to fight, so I try it and, finding no problems, enjoy myself. The Beef is extremely tender and I wonder if Ella has been playing with Kobe beef again.
My entire dinner gives Steph the giggles. The more I eat of it, the more she giggles until finally she lies back, red faced with tears running down her cheeks. Her response makes me wonder, for the first time in my life, if Ella is trying to poison me. Finally, she looks over at me and asks, “Well, how was it?”
“Not bad. Again, not a red meat and gravy man, but that was pretty good.”
“Glad you enjoyed it. It was entirely vegan, ya know, bark and twigs.” Ah….the source of Steph’s giggles. The guys told me Ella fed her a vegan meal, but they didn’t disclose what the meal was. Not bad. I was completely fooled.
“Would you eat this? I mean, it’s entirely bark and twigs, as you say, but you should try it. It wasn’t bad.”
Steph spends the next 20 minutes explaining how Ella fed that meal to everyone and none of them knew. Then she drops a bombshell on me.
“I have to admit, I think what the guys have been up to is funny. They’ve had Ella cramming low-fat, low-sodium, low-calorie meals at me under the guise of “taste testing” for the men, as if there’s a single man in this entire office who wouldn’t eat what Ella cooked, regardless of what was in it or how it was prepared. I didn’t get it until she served that vegan meal but then I started actually looking at what she was serving me and getting suspicious. The dead giveaway was the baked doughnuts. I can tell the difference in baked, fried, yeast, cake, filled, glazed, cruller, you name it, I can differentiate. Geez, I worked in a bakery in high school. Dessert is the base of my food pyramid. I can’t be fooled by baked goods.”
And this is why my Babe should never be underestimated. I flash her a grin and watch as she goes soft and dreamy. Too much smile and she’ll get self-conscious and start checking for drool, so I return the plate to the kitchen, lie down on the bed and pull her into my arms.
“So Batman, they tell you what they’ve been up to this week? They’re causing widespread panic and throwing jobs I’m not qualified for at me.” Interesting way to describe it.
“Babe.” I’m getting an irritated look. “They’d never toss you a job you weren’t qualified to do.”
Steph stares in my face, searching for the truth. I must have passed because she rolls into my arms, settling her face in my chest and sighs. “They want me to be CO of RangeMan Trenton.”
“No dice Babe.” She looks at me, surprised. “There’s no such thing. In RangeMan, there is only one CO. CO of RangeMan LLC.” She goes white and I hug her closely and wait. Here it comes. I can feel it.
“ABSOLUTLEY NO WAY! That’s your job! I am in no way qualified to handle the job. I can’t be you, Ranger! There’s me and there’s you and there’s no way I’ll ever be you! The company would be bankrupt in days, maybe hours—” She breaks away from me and I watch as a full head of rhino steam makes its way impressively up her body and the hands are going in circles. How did Morelli not find this hilarious? Oh, right. Italian. I sit up and lean against the headboard. This is going to be fun.
“Babe?” No response. “Babe!” She looks at me, still fuming. I have to tread carefully and I wonder exactly how Santos planned to sell her on the job. This will take every bit of cunning and emotional manipulation I can manage. I guess I’ve joined the psy-op now. Damn. Lots of talking. “Stephanie.” Ah, there we go. Full attention. “Listen to me, Babe. RangeMan LLC is not a charity. It’s a security company that demands the utmost in loyalty, bravery, sacrifice, and patience from its employees. We are the best of the best, the first people to respond and the last to leave. My men know that I make the moves that are best for the company, not for my own personal gain.
We have no shareholders outside the core team, no one to tell us what to do, no way we can be leveraged, nothing to hold against us. My brothers, Lester, Tank, and Bobby, love you as much as I do and trust your judgment so much that they are asking you to step in and run the entire show for them while they. . . you know, I do need to find out what the fuck they are up to, but regardless Babe, the entire Core Team believes that you have what is takes to run a multi-million dollar company.” She’s looking at me with a look of extreme disbelief. “Babe, I’m not known, none of us are known, for being a soft touch, for allowing pity or compassion to rule business dealings—”
“Bullshit, Carlos!” Is it wrong of me to immediately get horny at the sound of my name on her lips, even as she’s cursing me? “I’m the ultimate pity business decision. I have a job here doing searches that you have an entire department to do. And as for allowing pity or compassion to rule your business dealings, I’ve had a chance to look at your business. I see the level of activity here. And I recognize that every time I screw up, every time I get in over my head and every time you have to come rescue me, that is costing thousands of dollars. No, it’s costing tens, possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars! That is a pity business decision and you can’t deny it!”
“No it’s not. It’s the best fucking business decision I can make.” I cut off whatever she’s about to say with “Babe, when something happens to you, my men can’t concentrate on their jobs. They want to be involved, to help in whatever way they can. Until you are safe and sound and they know it, nothing at RangeMan Trenton is going to get done anyway. When you’re in trouble, they’re all running to a truck, trying to be the first to respond. It’s just easier for me to acknowledge that and allow them to help, to coordinate their natural need to protect you into actions that will save you.
We figure out how to put the branch back to rights once you’re safe and sound but I want you to consider this: every time you come to work here, every man, all 40-plus of them, comes to see you at your cubicle at some part of their day. Some stop and speak; others just stand there and look at you. The knowledge that you are on the floor propels them to your desk, to check on you, to reassure themselves that you are OK and in one piece, because you and I both know you don’t show up unless you’re hurt or having money trouble but they don’t know that. They assume something is wrong and you’re hiding out and helping out while you do.
So yeah, if I look at your rescues in a purely monetary sense, you’re expensive but if I’m looking at my men, making sure you’re OK is priceless, both for me and for them. If something happened to you I could never forgive myself and my men would never forgive themselves or let it go. Babe, I can order the men to protect you but you’ve encouraged them to love and respect you as much as you love and respect them.”
Where did I put the box of Kleenex? My Babe can do many things, but cry attractively is not one of them.
“So, if Tank, Lester, and Bobby asked you to become CO, I’m guessing they have something in the works and know they need to put someone in charge who can be trusted to do what’s right for the company, not for one branch or another. That person is you. I could call in another XO to run the company but their natural inclination would be to favor their office. Every man in the company knows that your questions are to be answered truthfully and immediately, regardless of the situation.
You are one of five people in the entire company to have access to every report, every building and every file. I added you to those things after the Scrog situation. Plus, the CO has access to the financial reports and the bank accounts and Babe, you were added to all the financial reporting and business bank accounts after the break-ins. There’s no way I want any one XO to know the overall financial state of the company.”
She’s staring at me, stunned. Good. Let’s press on.
“At the time, it was emergency procedures planning, just in case the entire Core team was unavailable or out of commission for some reason, but I’ve had the plans to bring you into the company in the works for a long time. I was waiting for you to decide that you’d had enough of being a BEA and wanted something more to do. This isn’t the way I wanted to do it, but needs must, Babe. We need you to do us the ultimate favor and run the company for us while the Core Team is unavailable.”
She’s quiet so I go grab a couple bottles of water. I’m thinking how to continue to press my advantage and realize that Ben and Jerry can help me. Chunky Monkey, TastyKakes (Is this stuff really in my kitchen? Man, the guys really had this planned out), and a couple bottles of water for me travel back to the bedroom. I get a small smile over the ice cream, but still no response.
Steph’s POV
“We need you to do us the ultimate favor and run the company for us while the Core Team is unavailable.”
I cannot do this job. I cannot do this job. To know that I have Ranger’s trust is the best feeling in the world but I’ve seen what goes on at RangeMan Trenton. I would be crushed under the workload of the entire company.
He’s had it in mind to bring me in for a long time. If he’s been adding me to things since Scrog, then he’s been planning this for at least 2 years. 2 years of planning for a woman who. . .Let’s not go there. We’ve already had that discussion. Concentrate on the job offer. You would be Ranger for a year. You would be Ranger with no Tank, Lester, or Bobby. Even Ranger has BLT for backup. No. I want to know what’s going on and I want to know what’s going on now.
“Ranger?”
“Yes, Babe?”
“I need to speak to the guys. NOW.”
He chuckles and picks up the phone. “You’ve been summoned.” He throws some shorts on me and moves me to the couch. BLT has arrived and is getting comfortable.
“We’ve been talking. I’m not convinced. I want to know what is going on. I can’t make a decision without knowing why you guys are going to be gone.”
Lester grins. “Ah Beautiful, I’m glad to know you’re considering it. Long story short, we told you days ago we wanted to grow the company. Well during the past week while we’ve been in hiding we planned the move to San Antonio. We’ve scouted the security companies we want to buy, determined which men from each office we want to take to help us get it off the ground and started examining open bids for contracts in the area.
Basically, we’ve done everything we can from here so we need to go there personally and get a look at the area. Find office space and apartments, establish ourselves with the local authorities and start putting in bids. There are some very very lucrative contracts on bid right now, government and commercial and this is the time to strike. We’re ready.
But it’s going to be a lot of work and a lot of time, we’re talking 16-18 hour days, which means we won’t be able to respond to RM Trenton or the company as a whole. Each time we’ve done this we’ve left a XO in charge while we bring the other office up but it’s not as satisfactory. One of the biggest problems we have is once they get a look at the global picture of RangeMan they want to do things that favor the company, yes, but more especially their branch. We’ll never leave Mark in Boston in charge ever again. And it’s hard for them to unlearn the numbers once we take back the reins.
So, one of our lessons learned was that we need someone neutral to spearhead. You might come from the Trenton branch but we trust you to do what’s right for the entire company.” OK, that squares with what Ranger just said but I’m still not buying this.
“Oh, so that’s what you guys are up to? Babe told me you’ve been causing panic through the company.”
“Necessary,” Tank replies. “We needed to know if Manny, Ram, and Hal could handle the stress and uncertainty or if they would relax their guard before they were certain that everything was fine. They performed well, really well, so I’m comfortable leaving them in charge here while we move to Texas. The only thing that made me uncomfortable,” Tank looks directly at me, “was not having my eyes on my Little Girl here. So I needed to know that they would be relentless in checking for and resolving any threats to her safety and well being. Given that Ram looks like he’s been on a week-long bender because he was desperate to make sure that there were no threats against her, I’m now more comfortable leaving her security in their hands. He damn near lived in the ‘Bomber’ file looking for a threat.”
What the hell! I can take care of myself. . . most of the time. . . they have a file?
“Yeah Bomber, we have a file. It contains a list of all your FTAs and their statuses, all known, known unknown, and unknown known threats to you and any threats to you possibly stemming from Ranger. We check it religiously.” Bobby smiles. I gotta stop talking out loud.
“I still don’t buy it. Why does it take all three of you to open an office, especially if you’re taking men from the other offices out there with you?”
“Well, one of us has to be the face of the company when we go to bid the jobs,” Bobby says. “That’s Tank. As Chief XO he knows how to move our bid through the channels to get it considered. He will also need to make contact with bond agencies, existing security companies, etc, in order to get us the contracts we need to get started. Lester has the job of hiring. Even though we’re taking guys with us, we’re basically giving them a short transfer to this new office. Some may decide to stay but others will want to transfer back to their home office. Lester will need to hire the right people, test them relentlessly, and determine if they fit.
Plus, trying to find the right mix of guys is a full-time job so he will be preoccupied with that. Meanwhile, I have the admin work. Finding buildings and apartments, meeting with contractors and architects, filing for permits, concealed carry permits, setting up bank accounts and payroll, shit, I’ll be in the paper weeds for weeks. All in all, it takes 6-9 months to get a new office up and running at capacity, which is why we’re estimating that we’ll be there for a year. That’s why we need you, Bomber, to take charge of the company overall. Ranger will be unavailable soon and we’ll be in Texas, not completely unavailable to you but definitely not answering timely. Having you here solves a lot of worry for us.”
“And Beautiful, we trust you. Any decision you make will be one you make because it’s right, not because it’s easy.”
Have they not been paying attention to my personal life?
“Yeah we have, but how you handle your professional life is different from how you handle your personal life. One example: Evelyn Soder.” Lester smiles. “You’ll have what’s best for the company at heart. Besides, I want to press one point. I know you said that part of your reasoning for considering the Bonds Enforcement job was that you got to be Ranger,” Thanks Lester. Can I die of embarrassment now? “but we don’t want you to be Ranger. We want you to be Stephanie, my Beautiful, Bobby’s Bomber, Tank’s Little Girl. Who you are is who we love. You aren’t going to do the job the way Ranger or Tank or Bobby or I would and that’s fine because I wouldn’t do the job the way Ranger does it or the way Bobby would do it. You have to find your own style and do that.”
I raise my hand and they’re all quiet. I have to admit, that makes me feel somewhat better. I’m not Ranger, I cannot do things his way and if they’re OK with me doing things my own way….wait, am I really considering this? I cannot consider this! I’m not qualified. The men in the other branches would crucify me. They would never accept my authority. I have no idea how to handle that much money. I can’t run any of those departments. RangeMan is the epitome of “lead by example.” Ranger doesn’t ask his men to do anything he can’t do but there’s lots I can’t do. I can’t wire a security system. I can barely cuff a skip and definitely not the dangerous ones. I wouldn’t know where to begin doing the work.
Ranger tilts my head up and looks into my eyes. He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at me. It’s as if he’s trying to pour every bit of confidence and certainty into me through my eyes. Do I think I can do this job? Hell no. Do I think I’m qualified to do this job? Certainly not. But Ranger seems to think I am. And he’s never wrong. He’s always been there for me, he’s never led me down the wrong path, he believes I can do this. Tank believes I can do this. Bobby believes I can do this. Lester is selling it to me with both barrels blazing so he believes I can do this.
Ranger’s been waiting for the day when he could bring me into his company and, apparently, in at a high level. He’s believed in me for 4 years.
Ranger thinks I can.
If I bankrupt his company, he’ll only have himself to blame.
Ram’s POV
Man, Core Team has got to stop calling us at 0115. Once again, I’m double-timing it up the stairs, fully dressed, sniper rifle in hand. I assume nothing. I hear Manny and Hal enter the stairs just below me.
Hal. “Intel?”
“None.”
This time we climb all the way to 7. There’s no way to get in unless you have a key but Tank’s waiting for us. He ushers us down the hall to Ranger’s apartment. I gotta say, I’ve never been on 7 but this is really nice.
Inside we find Bobby, Lester, Steph, and holy shit, Ranger’s back! Manny, Hal, and I step over to him and shake his hand. It’s always good to see the boss. This is a really swanky apartment.
“Stand down. Take a seat. Drink?” Again, is this a social call?
“No, Ram, this is not a social call. This is business.” Ranger smiles as Tank returns with water for everyone. Gotta work on my blank face. “There are numerous reasons that you are here but let me start first with, I heard about the job that you three have done here the past week. Very impressive.”
“Thank you, sir,” Hal replies. Manny and I nod. Yes, but where are you going with this?
“In fact, it was impressive enough for Tank, Lester, and Bobby to discuss a change in management and procedure here at RangeMan Trenton. Shall I continue?” Yes, PLEASE! “I would like to offer the three of you the positions you have been performing here at RangeMan Trenton for the past week. Hal, you would take over as XO, Manny would continue as strategic coordinator, and Ram would continue as external liaison. Are you interested in accepting the positions?”
If my face could grin any wider, it would split into two. YES YES YES! “Yes sir, I would be pleased to accept the position. Thank you, sir.” That’s echoed by Hal and Manny, both looking thrilled and excited.
“There are things that will need to be done, setup changes that will need to take place, but the most important thing to stress at this junction is, from this moment on, you are in charge of RangeMan Trenton. Your decisions, your responsibility. Since we are calling you so late at night,” Steph snorts “or earlier in the morning, depending on your outlook, you need to decide if you need someone to cover for you in the morning or not. If so, you need to call them. And Ram?”
“Sir?”
“At the end of this discussion, I’m ordering you to go home and get some sleep. You look like the end of Spring Break in Tijuana.”
This gets belly laughter from everyone. I can’t help it; I crack a smile. Hal calls Junior and tells him to run the bridge if he doesn’t report by 0800. Bobby informs me he’ll do the job for the day; I still need to determine who is going to be my second. Ha! MY second!
“Next items up for discussion. I expect you to keep the next two bits of information to yourselves until we publicly release it. Is that understood?”
Manny: “Yes sir.”
“Good. In one week, Tank, Lester, and Bobby are leaving to open a new office—”
“San Antonio?” Shit, did not mean to interrupt the boss, but I just gotta know if Manny and I were right. Ranger, Bobby and Tank look stunned, but Lester is laughing his ass off.
“Which one of you came up with that?”
“Well,” Manny replies, “we both guessed a new office. I guessed San Antonio and Ram couldn’t decide between San Antonio and Laredo until we talked.” Lester grins and sticks his hands in front of Bobby and Tank, who immediately curse us for being ‘too fucking smart’. Whoops. They each lost $100. Now Steph and Ranger are laughing and Tank and Bobby are shooting us looks that normally mean time on the mats and no hope of ibuprofen.
Ranger looks at Lester. “I see what you mean. Anyway, yes, Tank, Lester, and Bobby are headed to San Antonio in one week. With you taking over the positions here and them in the field trying to get the new office going, we realized we needed someone to oversee RangeMan as a whole. Therefore, Stephanie has agreed to serve as CO for the next year, or until I return, whichever comes first.”
Manny’s POV
I think my brain just short-circuited. Wifey? Wifey is going to be in charge of the whole company? I’m certain I’m not allowed to kiss her but this is the best thing ever! I knew it! I called it! I’ll never doubt my instincts again.
“Manny, you look very happy about this. Care to explain?” Lester says, smiling.
I look over. Ram and Hal look happy, but I must look like all my Christmas’s just rolled into one.
“I am happy because. . . well. . . how do I explain this?” I’m searching for the right words to show Wifey, and Ranger, what I mean.
“Carefully.” Wifey says, looking suspicious. “And use small words and few acronyms, please.”
Think man! Quickly! “That. That right there is why I’m thrilled,” I reply. I know I’m not making sense, but I continue and pray that this bullshit I’m spinning sounds good. “Everyone knows that Wifey has a unique way of looking at things, a different way of approaching problems and finding solutions. She likes clarity and cutting through confusion but in the midst of insanity she can make all kinds of connections. It’s one of the things that make her great. We could crush the competition with her in charge. Just think of what the Apprehensions departments at each location would be like with Steph teaching them how she does it.
Not to mention, you being able to look at the company as a whole and implement solutions for the entire company will only make us better, stronger, quicker to respond the right way the first time. Hell, thanks to your. . . ummm. . . situations, we’ve learned how to assess threats faster and respond quicker.”
This is the quickest thing I can think of off the cuff and while everything I just said is absolutely true, it’s not the real reason I’m so happy. I decide not to mention that being CO means she won’t be in the field as often and that reduces the likelihood of her picking up a stalker or a crazy and if we’re really lucky, she’ll continue to live on 7, reducing the number of break-ins and dead bodies in her apartment. This is just the best thing ever.
“Have you ever heard of group think, Steph?” Ram asks. Wifey shakes her head no. “It’s the concept that a group of people, especially those with similar backgrounds or training, tend to think similarly, which inhibits creative responses or novel approaches. Just about every man here is ex-military or ex-gang, hierarchical structures that value conformity and obedience. We all have the same training, so we tend to look at problems the same. You don’t. Prime example: the kids who were stealing from the company. Completely different approach from how we were investigating it, but you found them and pretty quickly.”
Nice way to carry the ball there, Ram. I wonder what Ram and Hal are really thinking.
“I agree. Plus having you around RMTrenton is an immediate morale boost, Bombshell,” Hal adds. “We all get together more and have more fun at work when you’re around. We were thrilled you were here in the building all week, but it sucked that we couldn’t see you. Every man here was on pins and needles wondering if there was a threat against you we hadn’t found yet. Because of it, productivity was up 17% and response times were 6.7 seconds faster. Everyone was just panicked that there was something wrong we hadn’t found yet.”
Steph and Ranger smile at each other while Ranger’s eyebrow lifts.
I’m in my own little world, thinking about how Wifey can make this company better. How can I help her get started? Where to begin? Can I talk her into a full security detail? I must look too happy because the next thing I hear is a very sharp “Manuel!” from Ranger. SHIT! Gotta pay attention.
“Sir?”
Ranger looks as Lester, then Wifey. “Congratulations. You’ve acquired your very own Lester.”
“Oh good,” Wifey smiles. “I like Lester.” Lester smiles and Ranger suddenly looks very dangerous.
“Anyway, Steph is CO and you three are taking over but for the next week, you’ll split the duties with Tank, Bobby and Lester because we will need to setup different access to different places for you, including keys up here and to Tank and Bobby’s current apartments which will become shared apartments for the three of you. You’ll need to sign a new contract and we will also need to review and give you access to the financial statements and issue the press release. Ready gentlemen?”
Are you kidding me? I’m headed right back down to get my red folder.
Hal’s POV
Am I ready? I mean, I’ve agreed to do it and I think I can do it, but am I ready?
Yes. I’m ready. I can do this. I gotta read my Bible tonight but I can do this. However, I’m about to open my mouth and get fired as quickly as I just got promoted.
“Sir?”
“Yes, Hal?” Ranger replies.
“I know that by asking this I’m possibly risking termination and having my ass handed to me, excuse my language,” Ranger’s eyebrow lifts, “but I need to know before I sign a contract exactly what my duties in regards to the CO will be?”
Now everyone is looking at me confused. I’ve stepped in it, might as well roll around and get nice and dirty.
“No offense, Bombshell, but. . . you’re known for your love of sweets, candy, cake, pretty much all contraband. You don’t go to the gym. You won’t carry a gun. Standard operating procedures are that if the person overseeing your care and safety is negligent and you’re harmed, that person might want to go ahead and run for their life. I love you as my sister but, excuse my language, I don’t want to get my ass handed to me weekly by Tank. Over the phone or in person and I definitely don’t want Ranger on my case. And I don’t want to have to put down in rebellions in the staff. I took Roger King to the mats for tardiness and contraband doughnuts yesterday but he’s got another round to go with Manny for insubordination. I don’t want that every day. I need to know now if I’m going to have to enforce two sets of standards, so I can prepare for what’s gonna hit me.”
Yeah. I’ve stepped into it. Core Team all have blank faces although I think I see amusement in Lester’s. I hope I see amusement in Lester’s. Oh God. No, no, I’ll be OK. I know myself and I know the enemy so I can win a hundred battles. I just can’t run fast enough to save myself from Ranger’s wrath so please Lord, encourage him to leave pieces big enough for my mother to bury me. I’d like to see Kansas again.
Manny and Ram are looking at me as if they’d like to back me up but they fear Ranger’s wrath and Stephanie looks horrified. I’m sorry. I love you but I can’t enforce two sets of standards although I’ll try if that’s what I’m told to do.
Finally Ram speaks up. “Sir, I’m going to stand by Hal on this one. There’s a set of standards for RangeMan and we need to know if women in this company are going to be held to a different standard.”
Oh how PC. Thanks Ram. We aren’t talking about “women,” we’re talking about Steph. I mean, she is a woman, but . . . nevermind. You know what I mean. Thanks a lot.
Manny sighs. “I agree. I love you Steph but I’m not having Lester pull his blades on me if you get hurt. I’d rather turn this position down rather than be unable to fulfill it properly.”
Steph is looking at all of us as if we are the ultimate traitors but I’d rather lose a job I never had than to get fired from doing something I love. There is complete silence in the apartment. The fun, joking atmosphere is gone.
Finally, Ranger turns and looks at Steph. There’s a silent discussion between them and Ranger turns to me and says, “We’ll discuss it in the morning, Hal.”
She has tears in her eyes and she refuses to look at me but I couldn’t help that question. It had to be asked. We all stand to leave and once outside, Bobby, Tank, and Lester all turn to me. Tank says “Follow me,” and Ram, Manny and I follow him down to four and inside his apartment, soon to be ours if we’re still employed tomorrow. The place has stacks of paper everywhere. Tank disappears into the kitchen while Lester and Bobby stare at me, blank-faced. Tank returns with a bottle of tequila and shot glasses. The same tequila Bobby gave Ram. Tank grins. Lester and Bobby crack up.
“To Hal, the man with the gigantic watermelon-sized balls! Hip Hip-“
“Hooray!” reply everyone but me. I’m too stunned to knock my drink back.
“Oh Hal,” Lester says with a grin, “Remind us to get you completely shit-faced. You have no idea how you’ve just helped us.”
Now I can knock the tequila back. As long as I’m not getting my ass handed to me.
I know the enemy. I know myself. I can win a hundred battles.
Steph’s POV
Hal is officially on my shit list. I mean, he basically made it seem as if he was going to have to beat up all the men just because I like TastyKakes. And cake. And doughnuts. . . oh, not fair. I’m not supposed to see his point in the middle of a trip to denial. That’s why it’s called denial. So I don’t have to acknowledge it. Top of my shit list, buddy. Absolute top. How dare you ruin a trip to denial for me. I need to recharge my stun gun, just for you.
I’m going to have to be Ranger. I’m going to have to exercise. I’m going to have to eat bark and twigs. I’m going to have to actually put bullets in my gun. I’ll have to carry said gun and I have to go to the range. No fair! They tricked me! They got me all excited about doing the job, told me I could do it my way, praised me to the sky, then let Hal drag me back to earth. No fair! I was tricked! I call do-overs!
Ranger sits down next to me and hands me a Kleenex. I don’t want to acknowledge him. It’s 2:00 AM and I’ve just been plopped back down on earth.
I can see him sigh mentally.
“Babe, how long is the trip to denial going to take?” I refuse to look at him. “Babe, I’m pretty certain I’ll have to be back in Fairfax by 0900 Tuesday. I don’t want to spend the last moments I have with you before I’m incommunicado fighting. We need to go ahead and discuss this.”
I don’t want to discuss it, Ranger. I was lied to. I was tricked. I need to go to Denial. My leg is broken so I can’t clean and even if I could, Ella’s a domestic goddess. There’s nothing to clean.
“Fine, Babe. Let’s start with the easy stuff. Will you still accept the post as CO?”
I cringe but nod my head. “Only because you’ve asked me to and you think I can do it.”
“I know you can do it Babe. I have every confidence that when I return I won’t even recognize my company, you’ll do so well. So, are you going to give the men a hard time?”
I don’t want to answer this. Even when I don’t try to, I do.
“Alright, different question. Are you willing to make whatever changes are necessary to lead the company?”
I don’t want to answer this either. I feel a mental sigh to my right.
“Babe, you can’t have it both ways. We just talked about this, about the changes you would have to make in order to be a part of my life and now we’re sitting here not talking, which makes me wonder if you really accept my life and the lifestyle we would lead. Do you accept me the way I am?” I’m silent. “Yeah, this is the reason that I’ve never wanted to give you any hope of this, whatever we have, becoming anything more,” Ranger mutters.
I can feel the tears on my cheeks but, dammit, I was promised something different!
“I’m headed down to 4, to talk to the guys about what’s been going on and what they expect to accomplish. I also need to give them the heads up on the current state of my mission. I’m going to leave you here to visit Denial and we can talk when I return, if you want to. Babe, I’m not giving you an ultimatum but I am telling you that you aren’t exactly selling me on us right now.” Ranger picks me up and carries me back to the bed. He leaves and I start bawling.
OK, that hurt. That’s not fair, Ranger. You’ve known me for 4 years. You know who I am just as I know who you are. You know I don’t do sweat, guns, or bark and twigs. I HATE the gym. I hate treadmills and unending boring running. I hate the gun range. I don’t like the sound of gunfire and the recoil. Guns scare me. Guns mean death. I’ve had enough of death. I don’t want to give up Cluck in a Bucket, doughnuts, cake and ice cream. I love food. I love that dessert is the base of my food pyramid. Sugar makes me happy. Hey, if I can’t have sugar and you leave, I’m going to be climbing up the walls. My sugar hormones will turn into sex hormones and without you here to take care of them I’ll lose my mind!
And that was an ultimatum. It was! Either I have to change or we can’t be and it isn’t fair because I’m doing all the changing and you get to continue to do as you like. This is Joe all over again only instead of marriage and babies it’s guns and treadmills. I need someone to talk to but it’s 2 in the morning. Who can I call? Who can I talk to?
“Mary Lou?” This is what friendship is all about. Best friends are the people you can wake from a dead sleep at 2AM without being cussed out. Normally, I would call you, Ranger, but you are the problem.
“Yeah? Steph? Oh my God, what’s wrong? Are you OK?” Mary Lou’s gone from sleepy to alert in 10 seconds flat. I can hear her moving from her bed.
“Mary Lou, I really need someone to talk to. I’m sorry to call so late but I have to talk to someone.”
“OK Steph, I’m listening. No, no, Lenny, it’s Steph. Go back to sleep.”
I tell her everything, starting with the breakup with Joe, my trip to Point Pleasant with Ranger, how I feel about Joe and Ranger, the problems I had with Thomas Mann and my past week at RangeMan. The phone beeps twice during the call, so I know that Ranger knows that I’ve called someone and since he hasn’t shown up, I’m sure he’s figured out that I called Mary Lou.
“So what do you think, Mary Lou? I mean, it’s not fair that both men in my life want me to make all the changes and they don’t have to make any. It’s not fair!”
I hear a sigh and a yawn. “No, Steph, you’re wrong about that. I mean, let’s be honest here. Joe hates Ranger. He despises him. He thinks Ranger pulls you into dangerous situations all the time and, based on what you’ve told me in the past, he’s right to think that. But in order to make you happy he’s willing to accept Ranger. He probably would accept you working for RangeMan if you want to. He just asked that you carry and become competent and even though I don’t know what he means by competent he is willing to accept that you still want to be a bounty hunter. That’s a lot of change for him because he essentially accepted that the person most likely to get you killed would remain in your life and you would continue to do a job likely to get you seriously injured or killed. He’s willing to meet you halfway and he accepted that he might not get a proposal from you for years. He told you it was your decision when your lives together would begin and that’s a huge concession from him because he’s been after you for a while to get married and have babies. He’s basically taking a gamble that you love him more than you love Ranger.”
Mary Lou, you are not helping. You’re supposed to be on my side. You’re supposed to make soothing noises and tell me I’m right and that both men are assholes.
“No can do Steph and yes, you said that out loud. You asked me what I think and I’ve never lied to you before and I’m not about to start now. Now, you want to hear what I think about Ranger?”
Big sigh. “Yeah, go ahead.”
“Alright. Here it is. Do you love the man or not?”
“Of course I love him.”
“Will you still love him in 10 years if nothing changes?”
“Is that a standard married person’s question? Joe said that was the same question his mother asked him and he had to answer no.”
Laughter. “Yes, it is a standard married person’s question because it’s the question that you ask in order to determine if you can continue to put up with something that drives you crazy. I ask myself that all the time. It’s what keeps me from strangling Lenny every time his clothes fail to reach the hamper. And you didn’t answer the question. Will you still love him in 10 years if nothing between you changes?”
I’m quiet for a moment. “Yes, I would love him to my very last breath.”
“Is it worth it to you to make the changes necessary to make him consider something more?” I don’t answer that. I know the answer but that’s admitting defeat. I can hear Mary Lou sigh.
“Steph, if you want a life with Ranger, you’re going to have to make some changes. Ranger’s concession is offering you the possibility of having a truly committed relationship with him. It’s the one thing he’s never been willing to even contemplate with you before because of the supposed danger and because of your on-again off-again relationship with Joe. He’s already added you onto his business life and I’ll bet you’re a part of his personal life too.
Besides, for all the bullshit Ranger has talked in the past, the man is traditional in some things. He told you that if you were his he wouldn’t tolerate any poaching and that you’d have to come home in the same panties you left in, which by the way, is still the hottest line ever. I’d bet money that the moment he feels that you’ve accepted his lifestyle and what it means, the moment you really are a part of his life, he’ll be shopping for wedding bands to make it official and legal. The kids may or may not ever happen but I’m betting the ring would. Are you OK with that idea?”
Oh god, I don’t want to think about it. “I don’t want to think about that right now, ML.”
“Well, you should. Decide if your aversion to marriage really is marriage or the men who proposed. Anyway, Ranger’s life is difficult and dangerous. You got a look at the calendar. You see what he has going on. That’s just one branch. He leveled with you. He didn’t lie, he didn’t hold anything back. He told you, point blank, that a life with him means constant danger and that you would have to accept things you don’t like, like panic buttons and safe houses. He didn’t say anything about exercise or diet, did he?”
“No. . . not really. Safe houses, panic buttons, loaded gun, no running from all the things I run from now. That’s not specifying diet and exercise, but it’s included in there.”
“Well, you should wonder what it says about you that your first thought is that he’s trying to cram diet and exercise down your throat and that wasn’t even something he listed specifically. All his specific demands had to do with your safety not your personal lifestyle preferences. So that wasn’t fair. He didn’t ask you to change. You decided to take the position and you knew what would come with it. A week ago you were willing to make the changes just to have the possibility of a relationship with him. You started thinking about the changes you wanted to ask him for. Now you don’t want to because Hal, was it Hal? The same guy you stunned to go to Valerie’s baby shower, right?”
“Yeah, it was Hal.”
“Poor guy. Anyway, Hal asked if he was going to be responsible for you and to be honest, I don’t blame Hal. I wouldn’t want to be the person responsible for your safety and experience tells him that alone is a full-time job. Take pity on him; this poor guy was just offered his dream job and in the middle of the night he has enough wits about him to ask about you. That should give you an idea of what you’re going to have to deal with if you take this position. Hal is right: he can’t enforce a set of standards for the men when the top person in the entire company doesn’t follow them. It’s hypocritical.
But never mind that, back to Ranger. He said that you two would discuss the possibility of your lives together when he got off this op. That gives you a year to make the changes, see how you like them, and see if you are willing to accept the changes necessary to be a part of his life. You work in a dangerous field Steph so you may find that making these changes is good for you overall. Besides, you’ve already done the diet bit and it wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“No, but that’s because Ella was cooking for me. The other parts are bad!”
“The other parts are what you make of them. Look, you said Lester promised you flexibility, right? Well, use it. You don’t like the treadmill and you hated my yoga class, but have you tried Zumba?”
“Zumba?”
“Yeah, I think you’d really like it. It’s a combination of martial arts and dance. I’ve gone to three beginner’s classes and I really like it. You should come with me. It feels like you’re doing Latin dances for an hour.”
“I’ll see ML. I don’t know what kind of schedule they’ll have me on.”
“Steph, you’re the CO. You are in charge. You dictate your schedule. If you want to make time for a Zumba class when you’re out of that cast, I don’t think you’ll get too many arguments. Considering the class is pretty much all women, I think they’ll start a roster for which lucky man gets to go with you!”
“Mary Lou, all this still requires that I change. I have to do all the changing.”
“First, all relationships are about change, Steph. Change, adaptation, no matter what you have to learn how to get along with the other person. You compromise in order to keep that person in your life. You can’t have everything your way in a relationship. That’s life, Steph. And regardless of who you choose, they both want the same thing: for you to improve your skills at bounty hunting. They both want you to be armed and proficient. Joe demanded it point blank; Ranger simply asked that you take your safety more seriously, but in taking this job you and he both know what that really means. So you can’t hold that against either of them, which just leaves you with the decision of who you love more: Ranger or Joe. Or more correctly, who can you not live without?”
We keep talking for few minutes and I start to feel better but I guess Mary Lou isn’t done.
“Steph?”
“Yeah?”
“I know you aren’t going to like this but I’m going to say it and I want you to think about it, alright? You and Joe broke up two weeks ago and I never heard a thing from you so I figured it was another one of your on again, off again breakups. In reality, it was more serious than that.
Tonight, you and I have been on the phone for an hour and a half talking about the changes you would need to make in your life to be with Ranger. Ranger holds out the vague possibility of the two of you perhaps having a relationship and you freak out about what you have to do. That just happened, what, two hours ago? Not for a single moment do you consider not doing it; you just think his conditions are unfair, conditions he really didn’t make but they come with the position he’s offering. Joe promises to give you everything you want in order to have a relationship and you consider it off with him permanently. In the end neither of them changed their basic stances and they both asked for the exact same thing.”
Oh no, Mary Lou, don’t say it. Please don’t say it.
“I think, Steph, you’ve made your decision; you just aren’t being brave enough to stand by it. You’re keeping Joe as a backup in case Ranger decides that he isn’t willing to take a chance on a relationship with you. And, as much as I like Ranger, that’s unfair to Joe. Marry him because you love him, not because Ranger wouldn’t come up to scratch. No one likes to be the back-up plan.” She said it. She actually voiced what I’ve avoided thinking about all week. Sometimes best friends just don’t know when to stop.
Mary Lou is right; I didn’t like that but we’ve been friends since diapers, so I’ll think about it. Later. Right now I have a job offer to negotiate.
Mary Lou is right. Joe gave me his ultimatum, which was everything that could be expected. Ranger is making a concession or he’ll be making a big concession in a year. Maybe. At best, I have the vague possibility of a relationship with him but it’s the most hope he’s ever been willing to give me. In the meantime, he offered me his entire company to run, no one else to answer to, all decisions are mine and I’m moaning about having to give up cake.
And Mary Lou is right (she’s been right a lot tonight; we need to talk more often): I’m not being fair to Hal. He doesn’t deserve me taking away his big chance, his opportunity to accept his dream job, just because I don’t like exercise. Or guns. Damn, I hate this. But I can’t give up cake and TastyKakes or ice cream. The sugar hormones will not accept that. I reach over into the nightstand drawer and take out a piece of paper. Time to list my conditions.
- No treadmill. I will work with the guys to find exercise I like, but I will not submit to the treadmill.
- Sugar remains in my diet in some form or fashion. Ranger won’t be here to take care of the jelly hormones so something has to give.
- I will concede to trackers and panic buttons. No point not doing so. I’m sure Ranger was going to insist anyway.
- Can I count 1 hour a week of paintball for 1 hour range practice? I still don’t like the idea of pointing a gun at someone but at least paintball is fun.
- I concede to the defense training. I need it anyway. No point fighting.
I call Tank’s apartment and ask all the guys to come back, if they’re still awake. Everyone returns and sits. I look Hal directly in the eye.
“I resented your question.” Hal nods. “I resented it a lot because I felt it was unfair. For that I owe you an apology. I owe all three of you an apology.” Hal, Ram, and Manny look stunned. “You were right and it was pointed out to me that if I were you, I would hate to be in charge of my safety. So, I am giving you my word that I will not purposely place myself in dangerous situations. I will accept a partner. I will not go off by myself. And I will voluntarily allow you to override any of my orders when it is in regards to my safety. However, I prefer to be asked for my cooperation, not ordered to do something.”
Hal looks completely stunned, but he finally nods once.
“Thank you Steph. I can manage that. I appreciate your promise and I give you mine. I will remember to ask for your cooperation in regards to your safety.” Ranger, Tank, Bobby, and Lester are all grinning. “However, can I get your promise that if I order you to do something in regards to your safety that you’ll comply first and yell at me later? I would only order you to do something if there was a threat of imminent danger. Sometimes there just isn’t time to negotiate cooperation.”
Reasonable. I don’t like it but I nod. Hal is pretty sharp for 3:45 AM.
“Since you are now the XO, here is my list of demands in regards to RangeMan standards.” I pass Hal the list and all the guys lean over his shoulders to read it. There’s widespread amusement at the list, but Hal looks confused.
“Um..Steph, I don’t understand what you mean by #2.”
“Don’t worry about #2 Hal,” Ranger grins. “I’ll work with Ella on that one.”
“Are these negotiable, Steph?” Hal asks.
“Not really but you can try. A part of being CO is willingness to listen.”
Yet again, Ranger grins.
“OK, the treadmill. We’ll concede that you don’t like it but you need to be seen on it. So can we ask you to hop on twice a week? It will also give us a chance to assess your cardio conditioning, which is part of the monthly health check.”
I consider this. I just went from 20 days of treadmill to 8. “OK, done.”
“Lester was telling us he had some ideas for other exercise you might want to try, stuff in pools, Zumba, maybe Tai’Chi and Krav Maga.”
I recognized the words pool and Zumba. Everything else was unfamiliar. “Mary Lou is in a Zumba class and has recommended it. I’ll give it a shot.” Ranger and Lester both nod. Ranger’s eyes narrow at the mention of Mary Lou, but overall he looks pleased.
“OK, #4. I’m sure you know I was all keyed up to get you on the range, right?” Ram asks.
I nod. Yes, you trigger happy sniper, I know you were looking forward to that.
“I will accept the loss of 1 hour of range time and I will meet you by putting up a schedule in the break room. We’ll make paintballing a branch-wide activity. That way everyone gets to get out, have fun, and help you become a crack shot. And hopefully, you never have to use your new skills.”
I nod, smiling. I was hoping for that. Good, now I can get out and have fun with all the guys. Only one condition left and apparently Manny is the spokesman for this one.
“OK Steph. The plan with #5 is to place a sign-up sheet in the break room asking for both volunteers and skills. I’m sure we won’t have problems filling it because I’m guessing all the guys will jump at the chance to show off their skills and teach you how to be a complete bad ass. Since you’re still in the cast, we’ll probably start with the stuff you can do sitting down, like how to pick locks and handcuffs.” He grins. “Acceptable?”
“Yes.” There. I’ve just worked this out in ways I can accept. I still don’t like the majority of this but there’s a bigger goal here: Ranger. And he looks pleased by my willingness to make the changes.
“Ok guys, I need to talk to Steph about some other things, so let’s meet at 1300 to talk and get started teaching you how to run this branch. And Tank, we’re still on for 0500.”
“Shit!”
“Any other questions?”
“HUA!” Everyone leaves and I’m left with a very happy Ranger.
